CANADA DEFEATED BY DOCILE CAT - Page 4

scott wegener · 05-09-2007, 08:16 AM

Mean cats are no joke!!

My mom had this beast that lived for 19yrs and while small, it made up what it lacked in size in pure malace.

That suckers upper jaw would unhinge and it would fly across the room at you,( like dracula in the movies getting pulled in front of the camera on a dolly, or the rabbit in Monty Python), and bury its teeth in your leg for no reason.

My family has a collection of puncture scars on our calves and shins.

When "Tigger" finally died my mom bought a voodoo statue of a demon cat staring down at the ground and put it over the cat's ashes out in the yard. According to the witch doctor the demon-cat will keep the evil spirits down in the dirt.

crimson5pheonix · 05-09-2007, 11:02 AM

Kitties will rule the world! They will demand fresh tuna and chin scratches all the time!

bluestarultor · 05-09-2007, 01:36 PM

I'd love to see this "ferocious cat" that scared away a farm girl. Unless he's a black panther, there's no reason a mail carrier should have any reason to be afraid of him. The average adult house cat is the size of an adult's forearm nose to rump and weighs less than a one-year-old baby.

The ultimate weapon!

Sheer horror!

DOOM!

This actually brightened my day. First time in days I actually had fun.

scott wegener · 05-10-2007, 07:08 PM

This could be a well above average, man-eater.

My 3-legged cat is 21lbs and bigger than a terrier. But he's also a total mush.

He's so friendly that after they amputated his leg, he woke up purring to the nurse who was scratching his ear.

I_Like_Swordchucks · 05-11-2007, 11:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by adamark

THE BREAKING NEWS

I knew they were weak, but this has truly surpassed all of my expectation. Yet again, Canada has lowered the bar.

:p

Meh, I'd be insulted, but I'm actually from Newfoundland. We're tougher than Canadians. Thats like Canada's version of Cajun Country. We have horrible accents, we wrestle moose and some even marry their first cousins. We also aren't afraid of cats.

crimson5pheonix · 05-11-2007, 11:52 AM

My cats a mountain lion......

Magus · 05-12-2007, 03:21 AM

Yeah, the neighbors complained about my pet cougar, and so I did that thing where I dramatically tell him to leave, and he looks back for one sad moment, and I pretend I'm angry and go, "Go on, get out of here, you useless feline!" even though I am really dying inside, and he runs off into the woods with his mate.

Its good they let you keep yours. All the postpeople deliver is junk mail and bills anyway, there's no real reason for them to deliver the mail.

Lord of Joshelplex · 05-14-2007, 04:20 PM

My cat ate a baby, or at least, looks like he did.

***Fenris*** · 05-14-2007, 04:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by crimson5pheonix

Off topic for a second. My friend's dad was fired from his municipal water job of reading water meters, so he put a century plant right in front of his meter for the new guy who replaced him and could not speak english.

Ooooooooooooookaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay....

Hello spam. You even know it is spam. Why are you spamming? Take that to the Open Thread, if you would.

05-09-2007, 08:16 AM	#31
scott wegener Art Monkey, Robot Junkie Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: New Hampshire Posts: 210	Mean cats are no joke!! My mom had this beast that lived for 19yrs and while small, it made up what it lacked in size in pure malace. That suckers upper jaw would unhinge and it would fly across the room at you,( like dracula in the movies getting pulled in front of the camera on a dolly, or the rabbit in Monty Python), and bury its teeth in your leg for no reason. My family has a collection of puncture scars on our calves and shins. When "Tigger" finally died my mom bought a voodoo statue of a demon cat staring down at the ground and put it over the cat's ashes out in the yard. According to the witch doctor the demon-cat will keep the evil spirits down in the dirt. __________________ ScottWegenerDotCom

05-10-2007, 07:08 PM	#34
scott wegener Art Monkey, Robot Junkie Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: New Hampshire Posts: 210	This could be a well above average, man-eater. My 3-legged cat is 21lbs and bigger than a terrier. But he's also a total mush. He's so friendly that after they amputated his leg, he woke up purring to the nurse who was scratching his ear. __________________ ScottWegenerDotCom

05-12-2007, 03:21 AM	#37
Magus Archer and Armstrong vs. the World Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 7,164	Yeah, the neighbors complained about my pet cougar, and so I did that thing where I dramatically tell him to leave, and he looks back for one sad moment, and I pretend I'm angry and go, "Go on, get out of here, you useless feline!" even though I am really dying inside, and he runs off into the woods with his mate. Its good they let you keep yours. All the postpeople deliver is junk mail and bills anyway, there's no real reason for them to deliver the mail. __________________ The Valiant Review

05-09-2007, 11:02 AM	#32
crimson5pheonix Sent to the cornfield Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Jo momma's house. Posts: 117	Kitties will rule the world! They will demand fresh tuna and chin scratches all the time!

05-11-2007, 11:52 AM	#36
crimson5pheonix Sent to the cornfield Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Jo momma's house. Posts: 117	My cats a mountain lion......

05-14-2007, 04:20 PM	#38
Lord of Joshelplex Sent to the cornfield Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Bird's Hill MB Posts: 4,055	My cat ate a baby, or at least, looks like he did.