How the NPF Saved Christmas Final: Merry Chrstimas to All, and to All a Good Fight!

[Toastburner B]

((OOC: I totally missed the fact that Ecurt posted just before I did yesterday. Less than a minute apart, even.

Anyways, for good or ill, for climatic or anti-climatic, the finale!))

The eight fighters that TB had invited were sulking, as everyone had ignored the. "Oh, get over it." TB muttered at them. "You four," TB said, pointing at a swordsman, and infantry, the archer, and the medic, "make sure that the Clauses and that Rudolph get back to the stables safely. Everyone else, attack the elf!"

The four remaining fighters in TB's small army leapt at the elf...who was already having a bad time of things. Suddenly, it was being attacked by four cartoonly figures. Well, enough of was enough, he thought. A four-way dark blast dissolved the figures ("That's going to be expensive to heal." Toast muttered to himself).

Unfortunately for the elf, he was so focus by the cartoons, that left SS to slip in unnoticed.

What Darth SS didn't realize was the shield was a bubble, not a semi-sphere. Of course, at this point, that hardly mattered. The shield was battered, having already almost broken apart by the sonic attack.

With an almost glass like sound, the shield broke.

The battle stopped.

Everyone looked at the elf.

The NPFers smiled.

The elf screamed.

He didn't scream long.

With the death of the elf, the demons lost their anchor to the mortal realm. They vanished in puffs of smoke that smelled of sulphur and brimstone in a very stereotypical demon like way.

Ding-dong-ding-dong....ding-dong-ding...

The clock began to strike midnight...just as Santa's sleigh could be seen streaking off into the distance through the giant hole in the ceiling.

"Speaking of giant holes in the ceiling," TB said, "You guys said you understood the entire 'low-collteral damage' thing. I mean...it's going to take forever for you guys to pay it off."

"You where the one who hired us on here," someone said, "it's coming out of your payment."

"Actually...no." Toast said. "I died. I have witnesses. I have the freakin' person who did it over here. When I died, my contract with Big Red went null-and-void. So...I ain't getting paid, and it was not longer my job to protect Santa. I suspect those of you who did the most damage will get notices from Santa's law ninja's shortly."

Toastburner noticed the room was suddenly quite hostile to him. "Err...uh...QUIT GAME!"

The book TB vanished...leaving NPFers along in an empty throne room...the only sound Santa laughing in the distance.

((OOC: Ending...sucked...but I didn't have any more time to write it. Feel free to banter or something))

[The Wizard Who Did It]

"Hey, you awake?"

And old man in a kimono seemed to be floating in endless blackness, with three figures in front of him. Each looked like the Wizard Who Did It, but two of them had different color cloaks. One had a black cloak, and the other white.

"Hey you awa..."

"What do you want this time, old man?" The one in the black cloak asked harshly.

"Well, I was going to give a big long speech about how you're friends need you, how you could prove a benefit to their cause, about how you've already been knocked down tonight, and that you instead got back up, how..."

"We are sorry we disturbed your speech, could you please continue on with it," the one in the white cloak asked.

"Do you honestly want him to? He just gave us the point of his speech-," the black robed one started.

"And I was going to tell you how to obtain goddom tonight, but you apparently don't want to hear the speech..."

At this, a variety of reactions ensued. The black robed one just seemed to be in shock, the white robed one scoffed, and the brown robed one decided he had to have his say, "But I didn't say anything, we still want-,"

"No. Obviously you don't want to hear my speech. Go help you're friends."

With the wave of his hand, the three figures vanished. The old man started walking to an unknown destination and mumbled, "Honestly, young men these days. Apparently Raiden's creator told him the truth. I wonder if that might beat some respect into these snot-nosed..."
-----------------------------------------------------------------
The Wizard was yet again lying in his own blood. Though he seemed to be decent this time. All he could taste was bitter iron in his mouth. He looked up and noticed that the fight was rapping up. Mauve had attacked the Balrog with an awesome frozen horse attack, Krylo had freed the fat man while phil_mike brought him to the sleigh. Darth beat the elf, and Pyros killed some soldiers.

Surprisingly they were much worse for the wear. Krylo was nearly dead, Raiden was drained... actually, that was the most of it.

With the end of the long night, Toastburner fled because many NPFs didn't like his "take money from the big guys" policy. Luckily, I have nothing to worry about. I didn't get to use nova.

The Wizard cast a healing spell on himself. Then he walked over to Krylo and cast another healing spell on him. After that he mozied over to Mauve and said,

"Mauve, that was a really awesome spell you did to attack that Balrog. I wonder if you would like to go to the International Archmage Dance with me?"

[Mr. Viewtiful]

Thumpman (aka Mr. V) jumped up from his prone position, and with a bright flash reverted to his normal Mr. V form.

"Looks like this is over...you know what that means?" he said. With a snap of his fingers and an awesome pose, the Thumpmobile ejected a set of turntables, a half dozen 6-foot tall 500-watt speakers, and some oversized D headphones. Grabbing the headphones and a few CD's, Mr. V powered up the set.

Grabbing a mic hooked up to the set, he did his best announcer voice: "LET'S GET READY TO PARTY!" Exclusive dance mixes of only the most excellent music blared from the speakers, filling the room with cool, rich sound without causing any damage.

It truly became a Christmas Eve to remember.

[Truce]

It was over.

After all that fighting, it was over. For him anyway.

"Well, it'll suck to be you guys when the law ninja come after you. Any damage that involved me I can directly blame on anyone else. Now...I have a flight to catch in about an hour, so...see ya!"

With a hop, skip, and a jump, Ecurt disappeared through the hole in the ceiling, leaving no way for CelesJessa to return home; it wasn't like it was his problem, the people left behind were the ones that were going to be WOA'd.

[Raiden]

Raiden looked at the damage.

"You know, of course they're going to blame the Thunder God for this."

Raiden suddenly felt a powerful glare on the back of his neck. He turned slowly, and saw Celes staring at him while holding the WoA.

"Raiden..."

"Yes, Celes."

"I'm not entirely sure what just happened, but I have a sinking suspicion that its all your fault."

"I didn't do anything, Celes! I promise!"

"Really? Then why are you bleeding?"

"This? It's a...papercut. Yeah, it's a papercut! You see, Pyros and I were making oragami swans, and I cut myself. On the paper, that is."

Celes gave an angry eyebrow and held the WoA menacingly.

"Alright, I MAY have blown up a few things. Nothing big."

Celes looked at the Raiden-shaped holes in the hallways. And then looked back at the Thunder God. However, Raiden was already up in the air, making a break for the hole in the ceiling.

"Raiden....SIT!"

The blue necklace around Raiden's neck began to glow.

"Oh, fu-"

Raiden crashed down to the ground, and was crunched into the floor. Celes trodded over and looked down at the hole.

"What did we learn?"

"To never disobey you, ever."

"Exactly."

Raiden got up and brushed the dirt off. Celes did a small leap and landed on his shoulder. She took a seat there, and placed the WoA at her side.

"Take me home Raiden."

"Yes, Celes."

"And when we get to my house, you'll finish doing those chores I told you to do."

"Yes, Celes."

"And pick up my clothes from the dry cleaners. These clothes squeek when I move."

"Yes, Celes."

"And after that, you can just come right back here to Santa's home and help fix it. It's the least you could do."

"Yes, Celes."

Raiden flew off with Celes on his shoulder. Even as they left, she continued to give him orders, and he continued to obey.

********Somewhere far, far away***********

A man in a hooded sweatshirt, blue jeans, and a thick chain looked at a device. He shook his head slowly, and picked up a phone. He dialed in some numbers, and he soon heard a voice on the line.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Jess? It's Tom. You know Raiden, one of my creations, right?"

"Yes."

"And you know CelesJessa, one of your creations, right?"

"Yes."

"Good. I have a question."

"Alright, go ahead."

"What is it with you and your creation with making my Gods your bitches?"

[PyrosNine]

Pyros remained as Asheth, stating that "Pyros" did the damage, while Asheth had done nothing but slightly singe the floor healing Krylo, so therefore Santa couldn't pin nothing on him/her. Raiden was driven off by CelesJessa, and everyone was well, except possibly facing poverty in the near future. Ah well.

Asheth gave some of the NPFer's a ride home in the Mothermobile, and as they drove back (and the drive was much shorter, thanks to the fact the driver had thumbs and legs that reached the pedals) As they sang along to timeless christmas songs ("I dun shot Santa with ma boomstick, he splattered all over the krismas twee, Wen da chillun all cry about the ruined krismas, Plees tellum it wossent me!")

Upon dropping them off, Asheth headed home late to christmas dinner. It was still warm, but only because the dog had eaten some and fell asleep on what was left. But mother was a forgiving soul, and was supportive of Pyros's lifestyle change. When Asheth explained it was only till the lawyer Ninjas forgot, Mother said "That's nice dear." and handed PyrosNine some practical gifts.

"Oh well. At least I bought myself a DS. Well, if it wasn't said by anyone yet,

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND ALL A- GOOD NIGHT!

Asheth looked up to see Santa flying past the moon, chucking toward him a gift. Opening it up, he looked to find several bras and a note "Sorry, it's my line! HO HO HO! oh, and even if you hide behind that name, the rug you burnt was worth $200000000000..."

Asheth's eyes glowed red. "Sonnuva-" Mother threw some fruitcake at her head. "No bad language in my house! Especially on Christmas!"

Asheth shook her head and tightened her bracelets. With a great leap she gracefully rose into the sky after Santa, the bracelets glowing.

"Ho Ho HOLY SHI!"

[mammothtank]

"Well that was anticlimactic!" MT whined as he sat down on a broken chunk of ceiling. "And I didn't even get to kill anything! Well, wait, there were the demon dogs at the beginning... and that berserker... and the ice troll... and I was technically part of the final battle..." In a very Red Mage-esque move, he pulled out a scroll and checked it. "Woo-hoo!" Smiling, he put it away again.

"Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'm tired, so I'm gonna head back home. See you later!" And with that, he turned on his heel and headed for the nearest exit.

[Darth SS]

Darth headed back to his home, and slept for like, two days.


Then he went on with his life as normal.

[Inbred Chocobo]

The elf sat bloodily in his chair. Santa left on his yearly trip, and the rest of the NPFers went home, but IC felt like he almost forgot something. He went over and took one last look at the elf, and looked into it's hand. "Guess you won't be needing this anymore." IC said as he picked up the wand and pocketed. "Cya guys." IC said to everyone left in the room as he jumped out of the hole he made up top and ran home.

[mauve]

Mauve leaned against the doorframe, watching Phil_Mike as he (they?) sprang into action with the remaining trolls. She dug into her Pockets of Near-Infinate Holding and found a candy cane, which she began to devour as she looked over the destruction.

"If Santa thinks I'm digging into my college funds or gaming funds to pay for this mess, he can go--" she stopped, remembering that it WAS Christmas and Santa probably hadn't reached her house yet. "Um... I mean... he's sorely mistaken."

After a moment of candy-eating, Mauve had recovered enough to walk easily. A handful of jelly beans later, she had a handful of MP, steadily rising.

"Cure," she said, pointing at Phil_Mike. She grinned and unwrapped another candy cane. "Can't have you guys bleeding all over the place, you know."

Well, Santa was free, the elf was defeated, and everyone on her side was more alive than dead. She guessed that meant the mission had been a success. So now what?

Go home, she guessed. Aw, that meant she had to go find her X-wing out in the snow. Oh... wait... Mike and Raiden destroyed it back in the first chapter. Crap. Well, there was no way she was going to hang around here until Santa got back. The fat man might make her start cleaning up the palace, or something equally domestic and wicked. She looked at the door, mentally calculating the distance between the North Pole and the United States. Walking home... was a "no." She might be a freak, but she wasn't suicidal. Homicidal, maybe, but that's another story.

"Um," she began uncomfortably, looking around at the remaining forumites, "I don't suppose anyone has room to give a girl a ride home?"