NPF Avatars IV, Chapter VI: Imprisoned with the Maniacs

[Arhra]

At the manor, The Capitalist looked at Newb with minor perplexity. "I don't see how that can do any harm." he said and grabbed a crsty roll. With a underhand throw, he hurled it at Newb.

Meandering outside, with Bruticus shadowing him, he saw the attempts of POS's strike team. Some bright spark seemed in his eye, hinting at him having something up his sleeve, "Well, well, well, what do we have here then? I have a trick or two of my own. This Temple was built by the forces of Law you know. They've left behind quite a few interesting trinkets." One hand crept into his waistcoat's pocket, "And so I must ask you to... CEASE AND DESIST!"

With a flourish, he pulled out some strange token and tossed it upwards. Spinning in midair, the Law spell suddenly flashed and disappeared. With no further effect appearing, several members of the strike team, returned to the seeking and destroying, only to find vertical lances of immobilising light suddenly descending upon them, transifxing them and then teleporting them away. It was hard to pillage when it had been made illegal. It seemed The Capitalist had the Law on his side.

* * *

Arhra looked at Toast with some skepticism. In the background, Flare, Mauve and Garud variously threatened and attacked various inanimate parts of the scenery. "What do you mean most mentally stable? Why Lumaes and Darth are here and they haven't... alright, maybe you have a point." the chaos being conceded.

Speaking slowly, not wanting to put the jumpy giant cat alchemist further on edge, "You all seem like you're hearing the same sort of thing, but as threatening as these savage attacks the plants are making," She indicated a pefectly harmless looking bush.

Snap their bones... drape with guts...

"I think I can safely say -"

... So near... pulse of blood... tear them open... feast ...

"There's not much of a threat."

...Behind you...

OOC: As a note about what some people are doing before, its the kind of scenario where you don't actually see anything move. Roots just trip you and branches seem rather clingy.

[GARUD]

"What the...?"

Garud was on edge for some reason. These plants made him nervous as it was unknown. Although plants hurting people did sound rediculous.

"Wait, why am I nervous about this? I've taken on legions of demons single handidly and won. I have destroyed many things in my time in existance, and god help me, I won't let those tree hugging voices get to me any longer! It's not the time for panic or worry, now is the time for ACTION! This is a problem, so lets do something about it..."

Garud looked at the people who were phased by the voices.

"Lets burn things!"

A fireball lit up in the sorceror's hand and it glowed ferociously while the Blades of Chaos hung menacingly from his wrists.

[Flarecobra]

"Like that worked out so well last time...." I said, muttering under my breath.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

Hawk was looking at his new companions with wide eyes.

"What the hell's wrong with you all? The plants are NOT trying to kill you, look."

He landed high up in the branches of a tree.

"This tree is not trying to strangle me with ivy, or rip me a new one with its branches". He began to walk up and down the branch and continued in a sarcasticaly mocking tone:

"Ooo look at me, walking all over this tree, (hey that rhymes!) I hope it doesn't ATTACK me and tear me limb from limb!!!"

He stopped and turned back to the group.

"There is nothing going on, if anything its probably just the increased levels of Chaos trying to scare you. Now if you've QUITE finished trying to burn the crap out of the jungle perhaps we can continue?"

He flew off ahead of the others, looking for a way out of the nuthouse.

[Bailey]

Newb ate the roll and picked up the pieces of door. I bet he thinks he's shortchanging me. This type of roll is great for me. All condensed energy and no flavor gets the job done. Fitting them together like a jigsaw, he directed his nannites to fuse the pieces together, then filled the holes with sand, melted down to create glass, creating an interesting pattern not unlike that created when you drop a rock on shatterproof glass. And he even came away with a little surplus energy. "If you want I could make all of your doors match. I'd need to eat a little more food to get the necessary energy, and it would take a little while, but it would be an excuse to stay away from that roving band of maniacs known as the NPF Crisis Squad, and you'd be the envy of all the other business men when you told them that work which costs a good three million on the open market you got for a bucket full of rice." And perhaps I'll get my energy topped off completely by the time this is through, and just happen to miss Toastburner finally snapping and killing everybody else for once when they defeat the boss down here by throwing him at it or something.

[POS Industries]

"Did you know," Rei stated in her usual cheerful tone (though with a slight twinge of a cockney accent, perhaps inspired by Michael Caine In Space) as she approached The Capitalist and Bruticus, "that the internet service provider for your summer house in the Hamptons is a wholly-owned subsidiary of POS Industries? It's true! And I regret to inform you that we've noticed a bit of disturbing activity coming from your address and were left with no other alternative but to alert the authorities. Federal agents should be searching your hard drive now and finding a staggering amount of underage pornography." Child molestation is never funny.

The Capitalist looked positively aghast. "But I don't have any--"

"--That's for the courts to decide, I'm afraid," the android casually interrupted, "However, due to the rapidly-spreading news of your impending legal troubles and the fact that the top-secret biological composition of the fruit you are currently developing has just been released to the public, before you could secure a patent or acquire FDA approval, your shareholders have almost completely sold away all of their stock."

As it appeared that The Capitalist was at an overall loss for words, Rei continued merrily. "In case you were wondering how that could have happened, I ate a piece of your fruit and allowed my internal sensors to scan the sample in a much, much more in-depth manner than my oculor scanners could. Of course, this android body has a direct signal link to the main computer at the POS Industries home office, which was then able to analyze the results even more thoroughly and release them to the public over the internet."

The Capitalist uttered something that sounded vaguely like, "Guh."

"With the price of your stock so low and so many shares readily available, it was a snap for us to buy up just about every inch of your company that isn't already owned by you personally. Furthermore, the share of your stock that is owned by you has been frozen by the federal government along with the rest of your assets, giving us--and currently, me--possession over company property, employees, and, most importantly, majority voting power."

Rei reached over and shook the dazed and confused hand of the little Monopoly-Man ripoff. "Mr. The Capitalist, you're fired," she announced, "Mr. Bruticus, if wouldn't mind escorting the tresspasser off of company property, please."

[Arhra]

The Capitalist seemed to have some other ace up his sleeve as he chuckled, "Well played I see. I suppose I'll have to go and see how much of what you say is lies. Cheerio." He seemed remarkably calm.

And so it was that the others who had remained at the manor miraculously caught up to the others with no further problems. The problems were waiting for them.

They found the others still arguing about whether or not the jungle was plotting against them. Seeing how the newcomers had some who could hear voices and others who couldn't this only added fuel to the debate. With no end in sight, they were suddenly disrupted.

From ahead of them, panting but looking smug came The Capitalist. Bruticus was by his side and a number of savage looking trolls followed him. At the back, being led along, was Thod. The massive troll was carrying the tree with the fruit that it had been fed on, trunk lying supported on his shoulder, and drooling happily. It became apparent now that the tether was to stop Thod leaving it behind.

Having caught his breath a little, The Capitalist walked out a short distance towards them. The jungle seemed to be quivering with anticipation as he spoke, "Ah, I see the jungle doesn't welcome most of you. How very convenient. I did have some concerns when most of you didn't eat any of my food. It saddens me to have a reduced number of test subjects."

Arhra had walked out to meet him halfway and on hearing this, her eyes widened in shock, "You poisoned the food!? Only I may do that!"

"Oh, not poisoned exactly. You see, I rapidly discovered a variety of properties that could be easily weaponised. They proved remarkably resilient to curative magics and their effects are compatible with virtually any creature able to eat them. When I'd reached suitable final verisons, I would unleash them upon the world. With delay imbedded, triggered by a handy means such as this." The Capitalist procured a glass bauble with two different coloured liquids sloshing around inside from his jacket and threw it on the ground to smash it. Arhra suddenly felt woozy. "I could wait until the time was right and then activate it. And then all the world would become my horribly obese slaves, addicted to the food only I could produce! AHAHAHAHAHA!"

Listening to this villianous monologue, evidentally the maniacal laughter was the last straw. "Oh yeah?" Arhra replied, fighting off a blurring in her vision, "What if we stop you with violence?! Did you ever think of that?"

The Capitalist was still laughing maniacally, swelling with mirth. Then as his jacket suddenly burst at the seams, it became apparent he actually was getting fatter. He turned into a figure of towering girth, body roughly spherical and of massive proportions. His skin seemed to have shifted to a gelatinous consistancy, green and slightly transparent. Thankfully, with the properties inherent to such transformations, he still seemed to have pants.

This did set Arhra back momentarily. "Your special power is to become really fat? I don't see how that stops us beating the crap out of you though. Hiyah!"

Arhra punched him in the ample stomach and was surprised to find it only made his gut ripple slightly. Still having physical contact, she felt something else puzzling. "Shouldn't I agonisingly be pulling out your life-force and feasting upon it now? That is what normally happens in this kind of scenario." she said.

"Why my dear, I would assume that's due to fact that part of what you ate was spliced with characteristics of an over-regenerating troll. I can only guess your draining ability is occupied with trying to keep it dead."

Arhra mentally added Karma to her hit list. She had, after all, killed a number of people with practically the same trick during the time Raiden had gone crazy. It was an old myth said to be a warning against eating troll - the beast would grow back in your belly, eventually rupturing it. She also knew she would probably survive a stomach explosion, but more questionable was whether she wanted to.

"Pah! My guts are stronger than you could possibly imagine." she said defiantly. She dismissed a creeping sensation of fullness as being depressing.

For a reply, The Capitalist lunged forwards, belly barging her. His guts were stronger than Arhra had imagined as she was sent flying back some distance into a tree. "Bruticus, Thod, minions, kill them all!" he cried.

Things went crazy. The trolls charged, saved for Thod who sat down and plucked another fruit off his tree. Bruticus whipped out a pistol and leapt into action, The jungle itself was filled with malignant life, choosing this time to finally strike at those it had whispered to. From Arhra's dazed perspective, stuck upside-down halfway up a tree, things weren't looking good.

OOC: Encounter rating as a whole tastes like Doom Cookies. Monster descriptions and situation details are in the discussion thread.

[Bailey]

"Why, why, why does it have an eye in the crotch region!?" Syttulg shouted, then blasted lightning at what one could only assume was horrible and terrifying to him, but looked like a bunny to everybody else.

Stray bolts also hit Arhra, TB, and Bruticus.

"SO HUNGRY!" Syttulg shouted, as he began scooping up baconfruit and eating it.

He continued in this manner, alternating between eating food and blasting friend and foe alike.

[Skyshot]

Skyshot whipped out Nightstorm. There was no way it would work on The Capitalist, and he wasn't going near Bruticus and his gun. Not that wished he take them on directly; his role was flanking and support.

Instead, he'd focus on priorities.

"Blindness," he whispered while staring at Bruticus, and hoped the gods would answer him and temporarily stop the massive brute's eyesight. After noting the result, he darted to the side of the group and readied himself. "Well, there's only one way to deal with a horde of fungus trolls."

"Run away screaming?"

"Base a line of creepy novelty dolls off them?"

"Beg for a handout?"

Skyshot raised his staff in both hands.

"Vigorous caning." He swung hard across the skull of the first one to come within range.

[POS Industries]

"Well played I see. I suppose I'll have to go and see how much of what you say is lies. Cheerio."

Rei watched contentedly as Bruticus appeared to escort The Capitalist off the newly-acquired grounds of POS Industries Int'l. The would be very disappointed to find that, unlike the duplicitous Pedro O'Sullivan, Rei was a completely and utterly honest being, by nature, unless ordered otherwise by the one man with authority over her.

The threat to the company eliminated, The Capitalist's life was of no consequence, and so she made her way along with Newb, Pyros, and anyone else who I'm sure was there the whole time.

Later, within the spooky jungle of spookiness, the group of indeterminate numbers was reunited once more, only to find themselves with The and Bruticus approaching them with their own little troll army. After a quick scan off the new threat, Rei focused her attention on Bruticus as The Capitalist began to address the group, "Ah, I see the jungle doesn't welcome most of you. How very convenient. I did have some concer--"

Suddenly, the android noticed that all the noise around her had suddenly gone from crystal clarity to a dull muffle and finally silence. A quick self-diagnostic showed nothing wrong with her auditory sensors. Luckily, she was able to lip-read and managed to keep up with The Capitalist's exposition, and realized what the problem was.

*************************

Meanwhile, back at POS Industries Headquarters, a young intern named Jimmy was sitting all alone in the company's Research and Development department, "minding the store", as it were, while the whole rest of the department took off for one of their union-required Kickass Scientist Parties. Jimmy never got invited to these events because he was merely an unpaid college intern, and so every day around this time he'd just sit in the abandoned lab and drink his coffee. Beginning to drift into a daydream about what it would be like if he got to go to the party, he started to take a sip of coffee just as a somewhat panicked voice came booming from seemingly everywhere at once.

"HEYMYANDROIDBODYHASGONEDEAFFROMMAGICHURRYFIXI T!!"

A spit-take of legendary calibur ensued, Jimmy looking around confusedly as he scrambled to clean off the computer in front of him.

"Wait.... huh?"

*************************

Back down in the Earth Temple, an extremely quiet melee had begun from Rei's perspective. With her auditory sensors impeded like this, it would be somewhat difficult for her to effectively deal with attackers coming at her from any number of directions. Luckily, she was only concerned with one adversary on the field of battle on this day.

Energy began to crackle all about the girl as she raised her hand and pointed directly at her intended target. Her usual sky blue eyes glowing a bright red, Rei would have made an awesomely cool and imposing figure as she addressed The Capitalist's right-hand man...

...Or at least she would have, if she hadn't been too deaf to properly modulate the volume of her voice.

"MR. BRUTICUS, IT PAINS ME TO INFORM YOU THAT YOUR CURRENT ACTIONS HAVE VIOLATED THE RULES OF THIS COMPANY AND WE AT POS INDUSTRIES FROWN UPON INSURGENCY OF ANY KIND WITHIN OUR RANKS. IT HAS BECOME APPARENT THAT THERE IS A CONFLICT OF INTEREST AT WORK THAT CANNOT BE IGNORED, AND IT IS FOR THAT REASON THAT WE AT POS INDUSTRIES INT'L HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO TERMINATE YOU."

The very literal meaning of her statement became wholly apparent as the energy crackling about her suddenly concentrated upon the tip of her outstretched finger and fired a deadly beam of death directly toward the chest of the opposing enforcer.