What do women enjoy conversing about?

[Brainmeats]

Brainmeats 10 rules for successful dating:

1.) Don't go somewhere on the first or second date where you have to talk non-stop. Movies or activities where you are busy a lot helps. Once you've gone through the whole picking out movies together or attempting to put-put your way through the golf course, you both should know a little bit about each other. Enough at least to start a conversation some other time. You can see her quirks here too. What kind of movies does she like? Horror... Comedy... Anime... sappy ones??? I mean seriously think about it while during these first few dates.

2.) Don't let it be all one sided. You both should be talking... not all you.. not all her. She should be trying to get to know you too.

3.)If it comes up, go ahead and tell her what games you like or what movies you like.... but do not... i repeat DO NOT go crazy and talk about nothing else the rest of the night. Nothing is more boring than listening to a guy talk about his charactors or deck of cards if you know nothing about the game. The only exception to this rule is if she keeps pressing it. If she wants to talk about it.. go for it.. otherwise... well... don't drag it on forever.

4.) Complement her on something. All girls like to be complemented. Keep it light at first. Nice shirt... pretty hair... nothing major. Later on you can go for the OMG your eyes are beautiful... but that might scare her away at first. And for the love of all things good in this world... do not complement her butt, boobs or other such areas right off. She needs to know you see her more than just those parts.

5.) be yourself. dont lie. it'll just piss her off. just calm down.. take a breath... and be yourself.

6.) dress for the occasion. if you are going to a nice restaurant... dont go in torn jeans and a stained T with an unshaven face and messed up hair. there is nothing more embarassing... unless you are meeting her parents like that. she wants to be able to show you off too. later on when ya'll are just hanging out together she may not care... and i dont mean dress pants and a tie here either. as i said... dress for the occassion.

7.) be confident but not overly so. look her in the eyes... not at your shoes. look in the mirror before you go on the date and say something nice about yourself... get you in the confident mood i guess... dang you look good tonight! lol just dont be a butt about it.

8.) No politics or religion unless she brings it up... which she shouldnt but dont you do it! These topics are too deep for the first few dates. Save them for when the relationship gets going pretty good.

9.) Keep your hands off the places you are thinking about putting them. Hands and arms are ok for the first date. no where else. no girl (cept hookers) want to feel like you see them as just some little sex toy. Its just not a look we are going for.

10.) when you pick her up.. yes you should go pick her up for you extremely new to dating peoples....do not just sit in the car and wait on her. Get off your lazy butt and go to the door dang it. And when you take her back home... walk her to the door. and dont think she owes you that famous kiss goodnight. Give her three dates at least. After that... if you havent gotten any kisses.... try for it. Dont be all crazy about it. Just a little kiss on the cheek or hand will do. Who knows... she may want to kiss you and be scared to.


Other than that... just remember that we are people too. Any sane girl can overlook some mistakes so if you make one... dont freak out and give up. Keep doing your best and remain confident in yourself.

[Fifthfiend]

Originally Posted by katsielyonz

And if someone whipped out magic cards and forced me to play when the conversation dwindled I'd be ecstatic!

Like, right there on the bus?

[scott wegener]

Originally Posted by katsielyonz

1.) Not all women are dead set against geeky guys

Nope, absolutely not. Geek = sexy. If done correctly.

Listen to Katsielyonz my man. The woman knows of what she speaks.

Originally Posted by Brainmeats

4.) Complement her on something. All girls like to be complemented.

LOL that reminded me of my first date with my wife.

As a side note (and to make what I'm about to say have more impact) I should note that Dee was a fashion model for some time before we met. I don't mean cutsie GAP or ABARCROMBIE stuff. I mean like that weird high fashion stuff -bras made from saw blades and bubble wrap corsets. Hellraiser Porno fashion I liked to call it.

So anyway, she comes to the door and she looks AMAZING. Like it was shattering, she looked so good. I must have panicked or something because the the first words out my mouth were, "Hey. OH MY GOD, what's that on your face!"

There was this little random hair -like a peach fuzz. you would need an electro microscope to see this thing. But I was a little scared.

So yeah, not "wow you look beautiful," or "Hey that's a nice skirt -if you sit down too quickly everyone in the room will be your gynocologist." Nope, nothing quite so smooth.

Things got progressivly worse as I was a poor student and had about $23 in loose change and wadded up singles to wine and dine her with. But we managed to have a good time . . .until I got diareha of the mouth and spouted off about politics, religion, sex with exgirlfriends . . .

She vowed never to see me again.

Gawd!

Boy, do I miss dating. NOT.

[Brainmeats]

Yeah ok so what not to say....

never point out her flaws on the first date... yeah especially something about her looks that isnt quite right... scars... pimples...anything like that. Its just wrong and she will feel uncomfortable talking to you from then on without being angry at you. Scott was an exception with his bad first date that ended in marriage.

ok and dont talk about sex with your old girlfriends... or sexual stuff in general on the first date. Its one of those wierd things that makes us uncomfortable and then we dont know what to say next. Save that stuff for later. The ex girlfriend thing makes us think you are comparing us. We dont like that. I mean seriously... do you want us to compare you with every dude we've ever been with? I think not.

[Krylo]

do you want us to compare you with every dude we've ever been with?

Only if I end up being better... which I will.

Also, I'd say to take everything Brainmeats said (particularily regarding sexuality) with a grain of salt. It IS good advice with many women, but what has to be remembered is that, yes, women DO like sex just as much as men. Yes they DO get horny. And NO it does not make them a slut or a whore simply because they've forgone the socialogical programming which attempts to repress and enslave their sexuality for reasons I can't quite fathom.

In other words--there are no hard and fast rules about what to talk with a woman about (other than her physical imperfections). The best thing to do is to ride the current. Use non-verbal communication. Measure how she reacts to different things. Pay attention to what she says and how she acts. You can use all of these things to discern how 'far' you can go with any given person. With some you can talk about how great their tits are on the first date (especially if they just had them done!) and actually SCORE POINTS. Similarily you may be able to talk about your favorite cunnilingus technique to one woman and score points via turning her on, while the next may just get uncomfortable or even outright offended. It all depends upon the particular sensibilities of whomever you're speaking with.

[scott wegener]

Originally Posted by Brainmeats

Yeah ok so what not to say....

never point out her flaws on the first date...

Eight years later I still find this to be a very solid course of action.

As for the whole sex talk thing -just don't. Not on the first date. Regardless of your age, sex, or personal level of comfort with it, its just NOT good first-date material. Like politics or religion its something you should ease into.

Unless of course you are both MoveOnDotOrg'ers or Young Republcans. Or if you both attend some theological college together.

[RaiRai]

General bullshitting and making fun of each other for me. If you can't take a good jibe, you're not my type. I like a guy who can state the obvious but in such a way that it's funny. And if it's a real life scenario, talk to my FACE. Online, just make sure you use correct spellings, punctuation and don't come across too smarmy or 'intellectual'.

All guys are 'nice guys' to women until they have that little squirk that changes everything. Dating isn't foremost on a woman's mind that often, so guys pressuring them into thinking that way isn't going to make them jump up and say 'Hey, I think I'll date that guy today!' Generally, it just happens.

[Tydeus]

Yeah -- I generally just avoid dating, at this point. Not that I'm bad at it; in fact, I've really never had trouble getting people to go out with me, but it's frankly too much work for my taste, especially considering that I just prefer being friends with people anyway. A friend with benefits is, to me, the best scenario possible (best if they actually are a friend, and not some random girl who wouldn't be your friend if not for the benefits). Really, to me, that relationship doesn't feel any different from dating. Basically, I like people as friends, and I find some people sexually attractice. Sometimes that overlaps.

Don't let society pressure you into thinking that romance and love are necessary, or required to be considered normal. Some people really just prefer/are predisposed to being single.

[Funka Genocide]

Heh, I think it's pretty wholesome how you're looking for things to talk about, it shows that you haven't given up on the romanticized method of dating.

Honestly though, it really depends on what you're going for. Krylo said something about good looks and confidence, that's pretty much all you need to get "hooked up" with someone. You don't even need to really say anything, in fact you don't even have to speak the same language! It's true, because I don't speak Japanese.

Anyways, the point is that you shouldn't be looking to force a conversation with a girl just because she's a girl, if she's boring as all hell point over her shoulder and ditch her ass! Seriously, boring people suck, and if you can't find something to talk about over the course a of a few hours, do you really want to be dating this person? If you guys are really compatible enough you won't have to think up anything to say, the conversation will just flow into the wee hours of the morning.

Plus, from a personal perspective, dating is just a big pain in the ass anyways. If you want to be told you're wrong every five minutes and like jumping through flaming hoops go for it, otherwise I'd keep things casual and open ended, once you let her know she's got you, she's really got you!

(maybe my girlfriend is just mean though, in which case best of luck!)

[Gilgamesh in a Hat]

Frankly, finding specific topics to talk about is a bit awkward. On a date, you should try and make everything blend together. Guys have a tendancy to move from topic to topic sparatically, with only 3 minutes to any given topic. Whereas, women like to talk about one thing for lengthy periods of time. Your best bet is to talk about something you can extend about, but make sure she can be interested in it.

Say you go out to a movie. Talk about how you heard about the movie, the director, the producers, the actors, other movies of the same genre, favorite movie, funny story involving friends while watching said movie, friends, parties, hobbies, family, ect. You'll eventually get used to tying everything together and in the end you'll be talking about why she isn't naked yet.

The main rules with this are A) NEVER talk about past relationships or topics that would give off an awkward or stalker vibe and B) Always have a way to save yourself. But a big part of it is being able to think on your feet. If a conversation chain dies, don't just ask a random question, make a statement about something going on in the room, a witty remark, or do something that would start a conversation. At dinner with a girl once, I found myself intimidated with nothing to say. So I started playing with my silverware by doing my favorite bar trick, stabbing a knife between the fingers of my hand while laid flat really really fast. It's easy and it's impressive. This led to "Where did you learn that?" to "here I'll do it with your hand" to "no" to "(locked eyes) don't you trust me?" to the back of a ford escort. A friend of mine uses card tricks and says they work like a charm.