What D&D character are you?

[Crodevillian Team]

I am a Neutral Good Gnome Bard Thief. And all this nonsense about being the first gnome? Yeah, it's all nonsense, because we all know I'm the first gnome. This height is perfect, because it will allow me to enjoy the McDonald's Playpens of the world once more. What was once cruelly taken from me by the onset of puberty shall be mine again.

[phil_]

Your getting the most utility out of being a Gnome doesn't make you first. See, to be first, you have to be a Gnome before all others in time or order. It has nothing to do with height. Sadly, TB beat us to it, as he is foremost in post order, and no amount of wit or non-sequiturs will change that. Mod powers might, though...

Take heart, Croteam. You can still enjoy McDonald's Playpens. You just can't tell the kids, "Hey, I'm the first Gnome."

[Nikose Tyris]

You are a...


Chaotic Good Elf Mage Bard

Alignment:
Chaotic Good characters are independent types with a strong belief in the value of goodness. They have little use for governments and other forces of order, and will generally do their own things, without heed to such groups.

Race:
Elves are the eldest of all races, although they are generally a bit smaller than humans. They are generally well-cultured, artistic, easy-going, and because of their long lives, unconcerned with day-to-day activities that other races frequently concern themselves with. Elves are, effectively, immortal, although they can be killed. After a thousand years or so, they simply pass on to the next plane of existance.

Primary Class:
Mages harness the magical energies for their own use. Spells, spell books, and long hours in the library are their loves. While often not physically strong, their mental talents can make up for this.

Secondary Class:
Bards are the entertainers. They sing, dance, and play instruments to make other people happy, and, frequently, make money. They also tend to dabble in magic a bit.

Detailed Results:

Alignment:
Lawful Good ----- X X X X X X (6)
Neutral Good ---- X X X X X (5)
Chaotic Good ---- X X X X X X X X X (9)
Lawful Neutral -- X X X X (4)
True Neutral ---- X X X X (4)
Chaotic Neutral - (-2)
Lawful Evil ----- (0)
Neutral Evil ---- (-6)
Chaotic Evil ---- (-2)

Race:
Human ---- X (1)
Half-Elf - X X X X X (5)
Elf ------ X X X X X X X (7)
Halfling - X (1)
Dwarf ---- (0)
Half-Orc - (-4)
Gnome ---- X X X X X X X (7)

Class:
Fighter - (-7)
Ranger -- (-1)
Paladin - (-3)
Cleric -- X X X (3)
Mage ---- X X X X X X X X X X (10)
Druid --- (-3)
Thief --- (-1)
Bard ---- X X X X X X X X X X (10)
Monk ---- (-2)

[Melfice]

Lawful Good Half-Orc Paladin Fighter

Alignment:
Lawful Good characters are the epitome of all that is just and good. They believe in order and governments that work for the benefit of all, and generally do not mind doing direct work to further their beliefs.

Race:
Half-Orcs are a cross between a human and an orc. Generally, this kind of mating does not occur willingly, so half-orcs are almost never raised by a full set of parents. They tend to be less intelligent and attractive than humans, but are generally stronger and hardier. Violence is a part of their nature, and few half-orcs manage to overcome this to follow other professions. They are generally treated with disdain by other races, if not outright hostility.

Primary Class:
Paladins are the Holy Warriors. They have been chosen by a God/dess to be their representative on Earth, and must follow the code of that deity, or risk severe penalties. They tend towards being righteous, but not generally to excess.

Secondary Class:
Fighters are the warriors. They use weapons to accomplish their goals. This isn't to say that they aren't intelligent, but that they do, in fact, believe that violence is frequently the answer.

Detailed Results:

Alignment:
Lawful Good ----- X X X X X X X (7)
Neutral Good ---- X X X X X (5)
Chaotic Good ---- X X X X (4)
Lawful Neutral -- X X X X X X (6)
True Neutral ---- X (1)
Chaotic Neutral - X X (2)
Lawful Evil ----- X X (2)
Neutral Evil ---- (-3)
Chaotic Evil ---- (-2)

Race:
Human ---- X X X (3)
Half-Elf - (0)
Elf ------ X X (2)
Halfling - (-4)
Dwarf ---- (-3)
Half-Orc - X X X X (4)
Gnome ---- X (1)

Class:
Fighter - X X X X X X X (7)
Ranger -- X X X X X X X (7)
Paladin - X X X X X X X X X X (10)
Cleric -- (-1)
Mage ---- (-4)
Druid --- (-1)
Thief --- (-7)
Bard ---- X (1)
Monk ---- (0)

Hah! Nice.
But this isn't MY Melfice.

[Crodevillian Team]

Oh, is that so, Phil? Well, I retook the test just to make sure that I hadn't made a mistake, and what do you know?

You are a: First Neutral Good Gnome Bard Thief

Numerical Assignment:
Being first denotes the fact that you came before all others, regardless of claims that state otherwise. Your getting the most utility out of your race makes you first. Height also plays a decisive role. Possessing the ability to once again enjoy McDonald's playpens and proudly mentioning this fact to others reinforces the idea that you are, indeed, first.

Alignment:
Neutral Good characters believe in the power of good times above all else. They will work to make the world a better place, and will do whatever is necessary to bring that about, whether it goes for or against whatever is considered 'normal'.

Race:
Gnomes are also short, like dwarves, but much more stylish. They have no beards, and are very inclined towards technology, although they have been known to dabble in magic, too. They tend to be fun-loving and fond of jokes and humor and the ball pits at the playpens. Some gnomes live behind waterfalls, and some live in cities and at the ends of beautiful rainbows. They are very tolerant of other races, and are generally well-liked, though occasionally considered just too awesome to even think about.

Primary Class:
Bards are the entertainers. They sing, dance, and play flippin' sweet dance music to make other people happy, and, frequently, make women swoon. They also tend to dabble in magic a bit and fail miserably.

Secondary Class:
Thieves are the most roguish of the classes. They are sneaky and nimble-fingered, and have skills with traps and locks. While not all use these skills for hamburglary, that is a common and delicious occupation of this class.


Numerical Assignment:
First ----- X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X (18)
Second -- (Certainly Not!)
Third ----- (Out of the Question!)
Fourth --- (A Complete Impossibility!)
Fifth ----- (Absolutely Absurd!)
Sixth ----- (Insanity!)
Seventh -- (Never In a Million Years!)
Eighth ---- (Toastburner)
Ninth ----- (Phil)

Alignment:
Lawful Good ----- X X X X X (5)
Neutral Good ---- X X X X X X X (7)
Chaotic Good ---- X X X X X X (6)
Lawful Neutral -- X X X X (4)
True Neutral ---- X X X (3)
Chaotic Neutral - X X X (3)
Lawful Evil ----- (0)
Neutral Evil ---- X (1)
Chaotic Evil ---- (-2)

Race:
Human ---- X (1)
Half-Elf - X (1)
Elf ------ X X X X (4)
Halfling - X X X (3)
Dwarf ---- (-4)
Half-Orc - (-7)
Gnome ---- X X X X X X X X X X X (11)

Class:
Fighter - (-5)
Ranger -- (-1)
Paladin - (-3)
Cleric -- (0)
Mage ---- (-2)
Druid --- (-5)
Thief --- X X X X (4)
Bard ---- X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X (15)
Monk ---- (-1)

[Funka Genocide]

You are a...


Chaotic Good Half-Elf Ranger Ranger

Alignment:
Chaotic Good characters are independent types with a strong belief in the value of goodness. They have little use for governments and other forces of order, and will generally do their own things, without heed to such groups.

Race:
Half-Elves are a cross between a human and an elf. They are smaller, like their elven ancestors, but have a much shorter lifespan. They are sometimes looked down upon as half-breeds, but this is rare. They have both the curious drive of humans and the patience of elves.

Primary Class:
Rangers are the defenders of nature and the elements. They are in tune with the Earth, and work to keep it safe and healthy.

Secondary Class:
Being a ranger that multiclasses as a ranger means possessing twice the maximum amount of ranger that other rangers have. This coupled with the fact that you're only half human, means you are approximately four times the ranger any other ranger could ever hope to be.

Detailed Results:

Alignment:
Lawful Good ----- X (1)
Neutral Good ---- X X (2)
Chaotic Good ---- X X X X X X (6)
Lawful Neutral -- (-1)
True Neutral ---- X X X X X (5)
Chaotic Neutral - X X X X (4)
Lawful Evil ----- (-3)
Neutral Evil ---- (0)
Chaotic Evil ---- (-3)

Race:
Human ---- X X X X (4)
Half-Elf - X X X X X X X X (8)
Elf ------ X X X X X X X (7)
Halfling - (-1)
Dwarf ---- (-5)
Half-Orc - (-2)
Gnome ---- X X X X X X (6)

Class:
Fighter - X X X (3)
Ranger -- X X X X X X X X X (9)
Paladin - (0)
Cleric -- (-1)
Mage ---- (-3)
Druid --- X (1)
Thief --- X X X X (4)
Bard ---- X X X X X (5)
Monk ---- X (1)
Ranger(again) X X X X X X X X X (9)

[Dular]

You are a...


Lawful Neutral Half-Elf Ranger Paladin

Alignment:
Lawful Neutral characters believe in the triumph of law and order above all else. It does not matter whether the leader is for good or evil; the leader will be followed, because the order they provide is the most important thing.

Race:
Half-Elves are a cross between a human and an elf. They are smaller, like their elven ancestors, but have a much shorter lifespan. They are sometimes looked down upon as half-breeds, but this is rare. They have both the curious drive of humans and the patience of elves.

Primary Class:
Rangers are the defenders of nature and the elements. They are in tune with the Earth, and work to keep it safe and healthy.

Secondary Class:
Paladins are the Holy Warriors. They have been chosen by a God/dess to be their representative on Earth, and must follow the code of that deity, or risk severe penalties. They tend towards being righteous, but not generally to excess.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Detailed Results:

Law & Chaos:
Law ----- X X X X X X X (7)
Neutral - X (1)
Chaos --- (0)

Good & Evil:
Good ---- X (1)
Neutral - X X X X X X X X X X X X X X (14)
Evil ---- (-7)

Race:
Human ---- (0)
Half-Elf - X X X X X X X (7)
Elf ------ X X X (3)
Halfling - X X (2)
Dwarf ---- (-2)
Half-Orc - X X X (3)
Gnome ---- (0)

Class:
Fighter - (0)
Ranger -- X X X X X X X (7)
Paladin - X X X X X X (6)
Cleric -- X (1)
Mage ---- (-1)
Druid --- X (1)
Thief --- (-1)
Bard ---- (-1)
Monk ---- X X X X (4)

So... I just have to learn black magic and I'm set for life.

[Zilla]

You probably don't need to be told this but those edits are the funniest thing I've seen in a while. Mega props!

And also check Demeritus's Good score. Guess who I'm trusting with my kittens and money?

Has anyone gotten paladin and not been lawful good?

[Marn of Mayhem]

Alignment:
Chaotic Good characters are independent types with a strong belief in the value of goodness. They have little use for governments and other forces of order, and will generally do their own things, without heed to such groups.

Race:
Humans are the 'average' race. They have the shortest life spans, and because of this, they tend to avoid the racial prejudices that other races are known for. They are also very curious and tend to live 'for the moment'.

Primary Class:
Bards are the entertainers. They sing, dance, and play instruments to make other people happy, and, frequently, make money. They also tend to dabble in magic a bit.

Secondary Class:
Rangers are the defenders of nature and the elements. They are in tune with the Earth, and work to keep it safe and healthy.

...

What?