NPF Avatars 5 - Let's Leave a Mark

[PyrosNine]

Majimmier took both hits, the Riyals' and the mass of earth, in an explosion of pure ecstasy (sakura blossoms and all!), and crumpled to floor. then got back up to his feet looking as if he needed a smoke.

"How dreadful! That violence was terrible! It hurt so good! Please, stop this senseless violence!"

Beams of pure energy whipped out from Majimmier's six empty sword holsters, filling the battlefield of space with shining lariats of truth and peace, which sparked and crackled a bit like a shining lethal tazer of truth and peace.

"I won't hurt you, even to defend myself!" He declared, then in a gentle tone that almost made Rei swoon (if it weren't for the particularly menacing beams of energy) "I just can't!"

The energy tendrils reached out in all directions, and REI and the Riyal got the feeling that they were a fish swimming under a giant jellyfish.

3 massive tendrils shot to wrap around the Riyal, while others sought to bind REI in a manner that could only be considered kinky. The energy that made them up didn't look pleasant to the touch, either.

[mauve]

"...." said Mauve, looking rather disturbed. "Yeah, I'm outta here."

The mage walked away from the rest of the group, pulling a small object from her Pockets of Near Infinite Holding. Keys jingled merrily on a silver ring, along with a Blues Brothers keychain. Mauve continued down the hallway towards the destroyed parts of the robot.

Somewhere on Earth, a dark garage was briefly illuminated by a quick flash of lights and a cute li'l "BWIP BWIP" noise as the vehicle of choice responded to the super long distance remote key fob.

A few moments later a white streak flew from Earth's surface towards the robot. Mauve's X-wing (which has totally appeared in other games so it's not like I'm just making this up off the top of my head so DEAL WITH IT, PEOPLE) pulled up alongside the robot. The cockpit opened.

"Away from this madness!" Mauve declared as Eol formed something resembling a space suit. Now safely away from the main group, she closed an airlock, blasted her way out through a damaged part of the robot, and sailed out into space. She landed gently in the Xwing's cockpit.

"Much better!" She navigated around so that Rei and the Riyal were in her line of sight, below her new spacecraft.

"Ah, here we go." She pushed the x-wing into a dive, opening fire on both enemy ship and robo-chick. Hopefully she could at least get one enemy's attention away from their dysfunctional megazord...

[PyrosNine]

"No! Wait! Mauve! I needs you! For stuff! I didn't even know we had a docking bay! Damn! We've lost our chief science officer. And KP hasn't forgiven me for trouncing him in the last tournament. What ever will we do?" Pyros fumed, sipping his cappuccino.

He turned around to a poster of a purple glowing figure that lay upon the wall. "Oh Cortana, why can't I not have an AI like you? Oh wait, cuz you'd go rampant and kill us all. Like Durandal!"

[TheBlindMime]

"OH OH OH, PICK ME! I'm ever so science! PICK ME PLEASE!!!" TBM rose one arm up and immediately placed his other arm under it as a brace, thats right, he was in this for the long run. "I'll devise a new, clean and easily renewable resource in the next thirty seconds so we can defeat REI before we all go kablooie."

He probably needed more then that to win over the interviewer, so like with every job interview he'd been in, he lied. "ALSO I'LL FIND A WAY TO MAKE WAAAAAYYYYY BETTER CAPPUCINO!"

These all seemed like easy claims to fufill to the little plushie mime, cause if he failed they all died anyways. So no one would get the chance to yell at him, or hit him with a rolled up newspaper. He'd be in the clear.

[Flarecobra]

I turned down the popcorn. "No thanks. Don't really care for it. Anything I can do to help? I'm a fairly good gunner....and a halfway decient pilot. And good luck finding someone who is willing to marry you two." I said, pacing around, rather disliking having to just stand by.

[Arhra]

Arhra Five had been watching the robattle between Majimmier and Rei Overdrive with an increasing sense of dismay. It just wasn't going right. But, she had just finished assimilating all the various technology she had been fortunate enough to steal and reconfiguring (most of) four giant robots into a single massive super-robot of her own design.

"Power up!" Arhra shouted, grabbing a large lever and pulling it towards her with the necessary dramatic force, the column of lights in the indicator next to it lighting up to maximum.

Angular lines of light traced over of the steel ovoid she had coccooned herself in and flashed, steam jetting out of the cracks.

It opened, revealing a super-robot with an exciting, chunky design and just enough streamlining to keep the powerhouse look without being ungainly. It was armoured in grim black and proud gold and bright silver. The pieces of the shell folded back to convert into small, fixed wing structures. Red eyes glowed in its visor, the head having a falcon-like helmet design and four back swept antennae/horns.

"Fear not!" Arhra boomed, setting up her energy emitters for a very specific configuration. "I have now returned to restore the plot!"

She struck a pose. "Stylistic convention assertion!"

The gem set in the robot's forehead flared, a spinning, four pointed star of light appearing for a second before it released what was quite literally a discharge of naked energy. It was that most embarrasing of weapons: a Nude Ray.

Arhra really did have strong opinons on giant robots wearing clothes.

Would Rei Overdrive and Majimmier fall victim to the exotic attack's fearsome clothing disintegration powers?

Find out in the next episode of Super Avatar Robot Mega Mecha Wars Advance!

* * *

While discovering the ramifications of being chipped and browsing the terms of use, Arhra One proved she could still multitask by simultaneously debating with KP about her track record with regards to destroying all humanity. Sure she'd wilfully violated the universe and come within a hairsbreadth of turning everyone who didn't manage to die into the playthings of mad gods (one of which would be her), but there were upsides to that sort of arrangement. It wasn't as if she'd set out to kill everyone. Just anyone who got in her way or annoyed her too much. And besides, it was much nicer than something like trying to convert all of humanity into a singular being, which also would be a state analogous to death and leave a lot of people confused and angry after witnessing it.

And now negotiation was in its final stages, with the pair discussing the possibility of throwing in a biofighter. For shooting POS, obviously. The organic technology was vaunted as even being able to love its owner, giving far better performance than unfeeling metal.

Arhra looked the little vessel over.

"I want you... inside me." the ship said.

Arhra paused. "You don't have any other biofighters for sale do you?" she asked KP.

"No."

* * *

Arhra Four was somewhat depressed. Nothing had come of her cheap and delicious scheme.

Captain Planet was summoned by Newb and then obliterated, despite being formed of the combined powers of earth, fire, wind, water and -

"HATE!" Arhra roared. She was not amused.

Seething cauldron of rage was a better description of her emotional state. And most unfortunately, it was pointed at Newb. She hated Captain Planet with the pure loathing for the being you'd only usually find in a polar bear. With further roaring, she barreled into Amalgam, snapping at his shadow head and trying to bite it off. She planned to continue in the order of fire, water, earth and, if she had time, wind.

It might become complicated if they grew back though.

Thankfully there hadn't yet been any jokes about hot dragon on dragon act-... damn.

* * *

"I never knew the food was so good on a battleship." Arhra Two said conversationally as she helped herself to lovely hot, buttery popcorn on the Riyal's bridge.

"Nothing can stop us now." Arhra Two replied to Flare. "It is meant to be. See!" She raised her hand to show her point - she was holding hands with Rei Zeus. "We'll just grab Ecurt or someone. He counts as a priest, right? He's like Pyros' helper monkey. Wait..." An idea seemed to have struck Arhra. "Is NexGen the captain of this ship?"

"Also, didn't I bury you? You'd better not be an undead. I hate those guys! I'll rekill you and your whole filthy zombie subspecies if you are!"

Perhaps fortunately, Arhra Two got distracted by the battle going on after the Riyal blasted Newb. "Oh, look. I'm biting off Newb's head. Damn I'm good."

[Flarecobra]

"Hopefully you two can find someplace that's nice then." I said, then ought a bit. "You know...a while back I helped clear out a rather nice house on a private island that was owned by a rather mad scientist....I took possession of it figuring it'd make a good safehouse. Island's got a holographic shield in case you want privicy, and comes with some cleaning...things. Dunno what exactly thay are, but there were made to just clean in the house. Looked like a combonation of a human, squid, and kangaroo. Not much for conversation though."

[POS Industries]

There was nothing but silence in the ruined Pantheon. Pedro stood still, arms still outsretched, waiting for the snide retort he expected from Mesden, but nothing came except silence.

"Well, fine. I guess I'll take that as a sign that we're done for today," he sighed, arms dropping to his sides. He paused once more for a moment before smiling a little as he looked in her eyes, "This was actually kinda nice. I don't get a chance to open up to people very often, you know. We'll have to do this again sometime. As for right now...."

Nihilem did a quick about face, sauntering back over to his newly dubbed "Bludgeoning Chair" before picking it up and hoisting it over his shoulder. The dark wisps of nothingness began to swirl about him once more, he turned around to face Mesden and offer a quick bow before the darkness engulfed him.

"....I've got a world to rule. Toodles!"

And with that, he was gone.

------------------------------------------------------------

"Move us out of range of those energy tentacle dealies!" NexGen barked to his crew, choosing to ignore the conversations of matrimonial bliss coming behind him, "Target that fighter for now. That big Rei out there should be able to handle the robot...."

The Riyal slammed into full reverse, escaping Majimmier's graps and locking weapons onto Mauve's X-Wing, firing a barrage of bright blue energy bolts at the starfighter.

Rei Overdrive was not so lucky, however. Granted, she did almost manage to escape the energy tentacles of doom and Arhra's attempt to remove her clothes were hampered by the fact that her giant form is simply a glowing white body-shaped forcefield, but just before she was out of reach her right wrist was snagged, jerking her back up toward Majimmier, who proceeded to grab the rest of her limbs in a very nasty fashion.

"Yikes!" she cried out, firing off a quick blast from her left hand before it, too, was restrained, "This could be a problem...."

------------------------------------------------------------

Fenris was still waiting.

The sun had long since set over the NPF, and a cool breeze blew through courtyard of the moonlit Administrator's Office. Suddenly, the wind changed direction and grew stronger, appearing to be pulled toward the shadow cast by a nearby tree.

It quickly became apparent that it wasn't the tree wasn't responsible for the lack of light beneath it.

The darkness receded, the wind calmed, and Pedros Nihilem walked out from under the tree toward Fenris, the throne of the High Creator still slung over his shoulder and a satisfied smirk plastered on his face.

"Missssterrrrr Hobo," POS chuckled, looking about at his surroundings with a great sense of pride, "You know, I honestly don't have a good line for this occasion. I was thinking about going with 'Take me to your leader', but it seemed awfully cliché. What do you think?"

[Fenris]

Fenris bit his tongue. He was going to go on a monologue about how POS was a rat bastard but when he thought about it he thought, hey, that's not news to anybody.

"Why of course, sir O'Sullivan," Fenris said. The only thing he could really do at this point was stall for time. "I'll take you to him."

And so Fenris broke the prime law of the Mods. "Let none without the status of Mod enter here."

(The everything would probably thank him for it later.)

Fenris walked into the building, allowing Pedro to follow. He was going to make a quip about how Pedro got a makeover. He thought better of it because he was sure if he did he'd be erased.

"Nice makeover, Pedro." 'Fuck!'

No response, much to Fenris's survival. Fenris went through the fortress, past the banned room. Meister called out to him from around the corner.

"Hey, Fenris, any sign of Pedro?"

"Not a one."

"You wanna take a break, or like talk for a bit?"

"Yeah, sure, I have time."

Pedro not-so-gently prodded him in the back and said, "You do not have time."

"On second thought scratch that gottagobye!" Fenris stammered out and rushed past Meister. Whether or not Meister saw Pedro was not of Fenris's concern. Fenris led Pedro to Shiney's office.

"Excellent. 'Haus of Shine.' This must be Shiney's residence, correct?"

"Look at the brain on Captain Nothing-God," Fenris replied sarcastically.

"I could erase you in an instant."

"Not like you won't anyway. The way I see it I'm more useful to you here than alive because you can't make your showy entrance if I don't open the door. I mean, sure, you could just erase the door but where's the presentation factor in that?"

Fenris was reminded of the days where he had to convince his high school English teacher that things that were actually completely fucking awesome weren't. He opened the door via keypad and had Pedro lead.

Fenris heard footsteps. Meister ran up behind, stopping and whispering in his ear.

T-MINUS 30 MINUTES

"I want you to take this," Fenris said, handing Meister the giant fish. "After Pedro arrives, you need to sneak it back to me and hope he doesn't notice. I need the fuse to be short. Flip up the left gill." Meister did so. "When I walk past you, wait one minute, and put in the following username and password: Username: FenrisWolf Password: 1TheGreatRetrieve; no spaces, the one is the numeral 1. Then put in about 5 minutes and give me the fish by Shiney's office. Then, as quietly as you can, get the hell out. This fish will blow up with enough force to take out half of the Mod HQ and most of the West sector of NPF. If you can, clear the populace of the region. I will probably not make it out of the blast, so I'm gonna have to say, see you around. Tell Nikose that I'm sorry I never took him to the hat show, and tell Mauve that I loved her."

Meister merely nodded and walked back into the building.

Fenris waited, his hair blowing slightly in his eyes in the eerie breeze.

PRESENT TIME

Meister handed Fenris the fish. "Everything is how you specified it."

"Thanks, Meister. It was great working with you," Fenris replied. He gave him a salute and followed Pedro inside Shiney's office.

"What's with you having a fish all the sudden?"

"What's with you not having a fish?"

"Point."

Fenris was now counting down till his death.

'Good luck, Fenry.'

3 MINUTES, 34 SECONDS AND COUNTING

[PyrosNine]

Originally Posted by Possible tentacle rape victim

"Yikes!" she cried out, firing off a quick blast from her left hand before it, too, was restrained, "This could be a problem...."

"I'm a gentle soul who's nice to everyone." The pacifist mecha replied, glowing a sinister yellow as it watched Rei writhe. "See? Here's a friendly gift from me to you." he offered, as a giant glowing red hot spork materialized and shot straight for Rei.

***

"Hmm...you do seem to have some qualifications, despite being not a scientist and mostly a mime. Which aren't scientists, no matter how good you can mime putting molecules into a tiny subatomic invisible box!" Pyros wondered, doubting if anything could make a better cappuccino.

Pyros thought for a moment, then threw Mauve's leftover scientist lab coat at Mime.

"Very well then! I will give you 3 minutes to figure something genius out, whereupon I shall use the remaining two to beat you to death for your failure before we all die. Also, in the meantime, I shall attempt to make sense of these NPF tachyodimensondemonphonics."

Originally Posted by unknown familiar interdimensional voice

-krshh*crackle*-If anyone happened to be listening right about now HINT HINT they might be able to learn some very important things...."

"Huh...no doubt that's not important. Let's see what's on the other channel!"

Originally Posted by The hell?

"Alright, listen up everybody, heres the drill. We got Jakob Moorhan's place in fangwood forest, I'm sure ya'll know where it is, but thats where Abigail is right now. That is also where that shooti-

"Is this thing picking up CNN?"