Love is, indeed, a many splintered thing. - Page 4

cellar_door · 06-09-2004, 09:29 AM

guys remember, now that your older you think your younger relationships ment little, but remember when you were in them, they felt important, the rejection still hurt even if it was got over quickly. no doubt someone aged 40 would say a 16 year olds relationship doesnt matter.

froof, mate look its realy simple take it from a guy that knows, if you miss your chance you'll always wonder. carpe diem

Viper Daimao · 06-09-2004, 10:09 AM

everyone's giving you some pretty good advice. just ask her. ask her if she likes you or ask her out, just make sure you ask. its seriously not a big deal at all. if you're nervous my advice is thus: plan out what you're going to say ahead of time, then when you next see her stop thinking and say it, dont think about it at all, just blurt out the words you planned. seriously, thats the hardest part, after that, whether she says 'yes' or 'no' it will be a releaf

slightly aboveaverage man · 06-10-2004, 07:33 PM

I'm hearing a lot of "Just ask! what's the worst they could do? say no!"

People don't know how bad "No" is.

For one who is extremely shy, the utter regection after putting ones heart on the line can be devestating. If a person took so long to build up the courage to ask, and is shot down, all the confidance that builds up in said individual is too shattered. The end result is an increased fear of regection, leading to fear of change, leading to self loathing, both for their apparent inability to find a mate, and the blow to their self esteem, leaving them thinking that they are ultimately inferior. Thus leading to an eventual spiteful outlook on relationships that stems out of jealousy of those in relationships.

BMH, IHMN, please cut out the "awww, it's the widdle 7th grader" crap. You were once his age, as was I. Poking fun at that kind of thing is Ageist, and immature.

Froof, My advice is go it slow. If you can find her in the hallways when she isn't with her friend, ask her if she wants to go to a movie, or something else that you usually do with your friends. Nothing too overt, like "Hey, wanna go for dinner at Le Cafe du Renee?" or anything, just gradual inclusion. If she doesn't make the first move eventually, make it youself.

06-10-2004, 07:41 PM

SAAM, its ok you never forgave me and IHMN for Calvinball...but Mash and a whole bunch of others agreed with us...

And sure, it hurts when they say 'No', but you get over it, then you realize either (a)"Meh, who needs her" or (b) she's not 'the one' (altho PROTIP: unless you're in a sitcom, the ONE is never in your teens)

And like Mash stated, unless you ask, it'll just go unsaid...ya know, I think there's a poem along those lines...I think...

Royalspork · 06-10-2004, 07:45 PM

grudge much BMhadoken?
We posted our ideas no use argueing them, it is only froof's decision

slightly aboveaverage man · 06-10-2004, 07:47 PM

This isn't about Calvinball BMH, I got over that long ago.

This is about a guy who's asking for advice and is instead getting mocked for being what he is.

Not everyone is capable of detatching their emotions at the drop of a hat, thus asking can be a traumatic experience in and of itself. Furthermore, if the reply is "No" it can lead to their friendship becoming Akward, ruining anything they may have right now. At this stage in his life, it's natural to have a crush or something, but they are not easily removed. they must grow out of it, simple rejection can lead to them becoming spitefull, believing that if someone doesn't like them, it is because that person is evil, and must die, etc etc. turning them into a jackass.

Funka Genocide · 06-10-2004, 07:50 PM

7th grade is as good a time as any to start getting some experience. It all becomes experience in the end (I sound like red mage don't I?) Just ask her out, if her friend tries to hit/smack/kiss/whatever you just kick him in the face or call her a bitch, whichever gender the friend may be (got a little confused on that one) but do these things outside the view of your intended girlfriend, also have a rock solid alibi to deny anything the friend claims. My point here is that if you want someone or something, you have to go out and get them. Women are incensitive, just as much as men are. They almost always want you to make the first step, the sooner you learn the ropes the happier you'll be in the future, trust me. I didn't start dating until like 18, just too damn shy. Being shy gets you nowhere, and anyone who claims that girls like shy guys is wrong, they like cute guys, and if your cute enough they will overlook such things as social ineptitude, or grooming habits, or you know, whatever. So in closing, ask her out, just walk right up to her and ask her, have no shame about any of it, because theres no point in being embarassed, just wasted energy really.

Royalspork · 06-10-2004, 08:04 PM

but what about parents? they will act just like IHMN did if you date.

Lycanthrope · 06-10-2004, 08:38 PM

Sorry, foofmyster, but I can one-up you:

Okay, I have found my soul-mate, and in two weeks may never see her again. We have everything you can think of in common. She was attractive, but not out of my league. I've been affraid to do anything because we're standpartners in orchestra, and that's a pretty close working relationship. It'd be an awful position to make things awkward in, you have to understand. I've figured that she thinks of me as a friend, and the reason why makes things even worse. Her home life is pretty messed up, which I think explains why every single relationship she's been in has been a bad one, abusive, neglectful, or just below her. And yet she's a beautiful personality despite everything, and I have to watch her in these horrible relationships. We're close friends but I don't think she'd take advice I'd give her; she hasn't taken it from her best friends, why would she take it from me? And to top things off, graduation. Off to college and then I may never see her again. All I can do is pray that she finds someone who will respect her, because right now I don't even have the satisfaction of her being happy without me.... *sigh* that's been building up for a while.

Well, good luck. I know how hard it can be to ask. I've been plagued by the same problem, even before I had a good reason/rationale like this time. One just doesn't know how to go about it, where to start. I, at least, know its just the problem of more vividly being able to see the consiquence of action than inaction.

And, SAAM's right. Back off BMH and IHMN. For seventh grade, he's always been articulate and eloquent.

Oh, and one more thing: the One can be in high school. Hell, my uncle met his soul mate in sixth grade, and they're as happy as anyone can hope to be.

I leave you with one of my favorite sayings on the subject:
"love is what you make of it. True love is when who you make it with agrees."

Lycanthrope · 06-10-2004, 08:50 PM

not you SAAM. foofmyster.

06-09-2004, 09:29 AM	#31
cellar_door wishes he was bob dylan Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: scotland Posts: 85	guys remember, now that your older you think your younger relationships ment little, but remember when you were in them, they felt important, the rejection still hurt even if it was got over quickly. no doubt someone aged 40 would say a 16 year olds relationship doesnt matter. froof, mate look its realy simple take it from a guy that knows, if you miss your chance you'll always wonder. carpe diem __________________ theres beauty in everything its up to you to look hard enough cellar door

06-09-2004, 10:09 AM	#32
Viper Daimao Ninja Death God Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Texas Posts: 1,087	everyone's giving you some pretty good advice. just ask her. ask her if she likes you or ask her out, just make sure you ask. its seriously not a big deal at all. if you're nervous my advice is thus: plan out what you're going to say ahead of time, then when you next see her stop thinking and say it, dont think about it at all, just blurt out the words you planned. seriously, thats the hardest part, after that, whether she says 'yes' or 'no' it will be a releaf __________________ "Falsehood is worse than hate, and that must be; if she whom I love, should ever love me"

06-10-2004, 07:33 PM	#33
slightly aboveaverage man Trudeau Maniac Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Cyberspace Posts: 4,253	I'm hearing a lot of "Just ask! what's the worst they could do? say no!" People don't know how bad "No" is. For one who is extremely shy, the utter regection after putting ones heart on the line can be devestating. If a person took so long to build up the courage to ask, and is shot down, all the confidance that builds up in said individual is too shattered. The end result is an increased fear of regection, leading to fear of change, leading to self loathing, both for their apparent inability to find a mate, and the blow to their self esteem, leaving them thinking that they are ultimately inferior. Thus leading to an eventual spiteful outlook on relationships that stems out of jealousy of those in relationships. BMH, IHMN, please cut out the "awww, it's the widdle 7th grader" crap. You were once his age, as was I. Poking fun at that kind of thing is Ageist, and immature. Froof, My advice is go it slow. If you can find her in the hallways when she isn't with her friend, ask her if she wants to go to a movie, or something else that you usually do with your friends. Nothing too overt, like "Hey, wanna go for dinner at Le Cafe du Renee?" or anything, just gradual inclusion. If she doesn't make the first move eventually, make it youself. __________________ Comics! Coffee! Videos! All at WWW.Ultima-Java.com If you're not there you'd better be dead, or in jail! And if you're in jail... BREAK OUT! Visit this Sunday SUNDAY Sunday and saturday.

06-10-2004, 07:45 PM	#35
Royalspork Magikoopa Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: chapel hill wo0t wo0t Posts: 1,617	grudge much BMhadoken? We posted our ideas no use argueing them, it is only froof's decision __________________ Zei Zao looks helplessly as he runs out of road to follow! The army of Huang Yao Shi grinds to a halt as to avoid wading through grass. That's for "common" armies. Much like Gao Hu's, who's invasion force reaches the border and sits in ambush for any fleeing units of Huang Yao Shi. In the grass. Cao Zhen, however, continues to follow the road, as grass is too green for his liking this time of year. You ain't got no K-Mart!

06-10-2004, 07:47 PM	#36
slightly aboveaverage man Trudeau Maniac Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Cyberspace Posts: 4,253	This isn't about Calvinball BMH, I got over that long ago. This is about a guy who's asking for advice and is instead getting mocked for being what he is. Not everyone is capable of detatching their emotions at the drop of a hat, thus asking can be a traumatic experience in and of itself. Furthermore, if the reply is "No" it can lead to their friendship becoming Akward, ruining anything they may have right now. At this stage in his life, it's natural to have a crush or something, but they are not easily removed. they must grow out of it, simple rejection can lead to them becoming spitefull, believing that if someone doesn't like them, it is because that person is evil, and must die, etc etc. turning them into a jackass. __________________ Comics! Coffee! Videos! All at WWW.Ultima-Java.com If you're not there you'd better be dead, or in jail! And if you're in jail... BREAK OUT! Visit this Sunday SUNDAY Sunday and saturday.

06-10-2004, 07:41 PM	#34
BMHadoken Guest Posts: n/a	SAAM, its ok you never forgave me and IHMN for Calvinball...but Mash and a whole bunch of others agreed with us... And sure, it hurts when they say 'No', but you get over it, then you realize either (a)"Meh, who needs her" or (b) she's not 'the one' (altho PROTIP: unless you're in a sitcom, the ONE is never in your teens) And like Mash stated, unless you ask, it'll just go unsaid...ya know, I think there's a poem along those lines...I think...

06-10-2004, 07:50 PM	#37
Funka Genocide Sent to the cornfield Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Las Vegas Posts: 4,566	7th grade is as good a time as any to start getting some experience. It all becomes experience in the end (I sound like red mage don't I?) Just ask her out, if her friend tries to hit/smack/kiss/whatever you just kick him in the face or call her a bitch, whichever gender the friend may be (got a little confused on that one) but do these things outside the view of your intended girlfriend, also have a rock solid alibi to deny anything the friend claims. My point here is that if you want someone or something, you have to go out and get them. Women are incensitive, just as much as men are. They almost always want you to make the first step, the sooner you learn the ropes the happier you'll be in the future, trust me. I didn't start dating until like 18, just too damn shy. Being shy gets you nowhere, and anyone who claims that girls like shy guys is wrong, they like cute guys, and if your cute enough they will overlook such things as social ineptitude, or grooming habits, or you know, whatever. So in closing, ask her out, just walk right up to her and ask her, have no shame about any of it, because theres no point in being embarassed, just wasted energy really.

06-10-2004, 08:04 PM	#38
Royalspork Magikoopa Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: chapel hill wo0t wo0t Posts: 1,617	but what about parents? they will act just like IHMN did if you date. __________________ Zei Zao looks helplessly as he runs out of road to follow! The army of Huang Yao Shi grinds to a halt as to avoid wading through grass. That's for "common" armies. Much like Gao Hu's, who's invasion force reaches the border and sits in ambush for any fleeing units of Huang Yao Shi. In the grass. Cao Zhen, however, continues to follow the road, as grass is too green for his liking this time of year. You ain't got no K-Mart!

06-10-2004, 08:38 PM	#39
Lycanthrope Deus Lupus Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: The City of Angels Posts: 2,925	Sorry, foofmyster, but I can one-up you: Okay, I have found my soul-mate, and in two weeks may never see her again. We have everything you can think of in common. She was attractive, but not out of my league. I've been affraid to do anything because we're standpartners in orchestra, and that's a pretty close working relationship. It'd be an awful position to make things awkward in, you have to understand. I've figured that she thinks of me as a friend, and the reason why makes things even worse. Her home life is pretty messed up, which I think explains why every single relationship she's been in has been a bad one, abusive, neglectful, or just below her. And yet she's a beautiful personality despite everything, and I have to watch her in these horrible relationships. We're close friends but I don't think she'd take advice I'd give her; she hasn't taken it from her best friends, why would she take it from me? And to top things off, graduation. Off to college and then I may never see her again. All I can do is pray that she finds someone who will respect her, because right now I don't even have the satisfaction of her being happy without me.... sigh that's been building up for a while. Well, good luck. I know how hard it can be to ask. I've been plagued by the same problem, even before I had a good reason/rationale like this time. One just doesn't know how to go about it, where to start. I, at least, know its just the problem of more vividly being able to see the consiquence of action than inaction. And, SAAM's right. Back off BMH and IHMN. For seventh grade, he's always been articulate and eloquent. Oh, and one more thing: the One can be in high school. Hell, my uncle met his soul mate in sixth grade, and they're as happy as anyone can hope to be. I leave you with one of my favorite sayings on the subject: "love is what you make of it. True love is when who you make it with agrees." __________________ "With these seven easy steps, you, too, can be the authoritarian despot of your own principality. Machiavelli, your road to happiness" "I shoot Flying Monkies!" "Christmas had it coming its what it gets for taking over thanksgiving and threatening halloween with its weapons of mass consumerism" "Death to All Fanatics!" Official RP Action God Lycanthropic Poem "FOR YOU THE CAKE IS OVER. YOU HAVE REACHED THE END OF CAKE." -Death Krylo and BMG are apparently my bitches.

06-10-2004, 08:50 PM	#40
Lycanthrope Deus Lupus Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: The City of Angels Posts: 2,925	not you SAAM. foofmyster. __________________ "With these seven easy steps, you, too, can be the authoritarian despot of your own principality. Machiavelli, your road to happiness" "I shoot Flying Monkies!" "Christmas had it coming its what it gets for taking over thanksgiving and threatening halloween with its weapons of mass consumerism" "Death to All Fanatics!" Official RP Action God Lycanthropic Poem "FOR YOU THE CAKE IS OVER. YOU HAVE REACHED THE END OF CAKE." -Death Krylo and BMG are apparently my bitches.