NPF Avatars Miniquest: The Promise of Free Food!

[Loyal]

Y'know how I mentioned that things could only get worse for Loyal from here?

Well does it count that the walls are now trying to punch him as he traverses a lone, long hallway? Seriously, they've got stone fists and everything!

"Woah - Hey! Come on, I'm not - Ah! - used to fighting the - Watch out! - environment!"

It was all he could do to dart to and fro, weaving through and dodging, but then a fist came from below. It caught him by surprise and rose him up, up, up towards the ceiling...

Until the ceiling parted and led into another corridor. A stone foot came out of the wall behind Loyal as he reached the height of this new passageway and punted him rudely into it. He blinked, not entirely sure what just happened.

As he got up and dusted himself off (or tried to - it seems some sootfoots had made their way through here recently, what fun), the wall contorted itself into the shape of a face and appeared to be laughing at Loyal's misfortune (though it wasn't making noise as it is a stone wall). Loyal glared angrily at the face, which responded in kind by mimicing the thief's face cruelly... and then laughing again.

Loyal decided to move on before his new friend decided to do something nasty.

[Toastburner B]

Toastburner sighed as he found himself alone in the maze. "Mazes, dood...I suck at mazes..."

Toastburner weighed his options. The logical response to the situation would be to go wandering off into the maze, whereas the standard NPF solution would be to smash through the walls...go in a straight line, and you'd get outside the maze sooner or later.

Yeah...smashing sounded like the superior idea.

Toastburner reached into his pouch, and pulled out a sizable mace-and-chain that had no business fitting into the pouch, and began to spin it above his head faster than his little prinny arms had any business spinning it, and threw it against the closest wall of the maze with an impressive amount of force.

The mace succeeded in embedding itself into the wall, but not much else. Heaving another sigh, Toastburner tried to pull the weapon out of the wall...and failed. A few more seconds of frantic pulling yielded no results, either. Neither did trying to use bombs to blast it out.

With a finally huff of frustration, Toastburner turned to leave his mace behind...only to find a few slimly creatures crawling his way, seemingly to investigate the racket that Toastburner had just been causing. Even in his prinny form, Toastburner wasn't too impressed with what he saw. After all, these things looked like little more than slimly kindergarteners...not that "slimly" and "kindergarten" didn't go together like "bread" and "butter".

With a disinterested flick of a flipper, Toasty hurled a bomb into the nearest booger construct, turned to waddle down the other way, but jumped in surprise when his bomb went off louder than he expected. Apparently, the slime creatures were rather flammable. The other creatures turned around, and Toastburner couldn't help but to squeak out a self-satisfied laugh...

...a laugh that turned into a whimper as they came back around the corner with a hefty amount of reinforcements.

Toastburner dashed into the maze, the snot-creatures giving chase, the whole scene punctuated by the sound of TB's squeaks of horror, and the occasional bomb blast.

[Arcanum]

Arc was dumbfounded by the recent chain of events. First he was slaughtering annoying dirty imps, the next they were running away from a peculiar black fire that he really wanted to run through instead (you know, OCD). And now? Well now he was seperated from everyone else inside a twisted maze full of horse-bats and snot things.

As Arc pondered the recent happenings in hell, a group of the previously mentioned snot things were creeping up behind him. However one of them either got too excited or lost a bit of control of it's sloppyness and a large chunk of snot landed on the ground with quite the audible plop. Giving up stealth, the snots half dove and half slid at Arc, who turned just in time to see their charge.

Letting instinct and showboating take control, he dove backwards and began blasting fireballs from his palms. As he slid along his back, still shooting fireballs into the slowly advancing flaming snot group, he couldn't help but think that this would have looked much cooler in slow motion. Yet his train of thought was broken once again as he came to a halt and the mob kept advancing despite being mostly on fire.

"These things just won't die!" Arc yelled as he quickly picked himself up off the ground. "Alright, let's try something a little more potent."

With that said Arc pointed his finger dramatically at the lead snot, then waited. The snots came closer and Arc adjusted his finger just slightly, right before his target was completely engulfed in flames with a satisfying fwoosh.

"One down..." Arc began but was cut short as a newer, much larger mass of snots oozed around the corner behind the flaming snots. "Ah shit. Well, that's my cue to get the hell outta here."

And so Arc turned and ran deeper into the maze, taking random turns with the thought that he'd match the randomness of this maze with equally random navigation.

[Rhiya Ravenwing]

Meanwhile...
AB and Arhra III...
Indeed, the few bat guano that had been unleashed were starting to give off weird multicoloured vapours. Something told the two to definitely not stay in that place at all.

But as they were leaving, suddenly they got the feeling that they were being watched.

Indeed, they entered a room and there was Lord Jacque-Easse and Rhiya. The demon raised a finger, pointing at AB.
"She the one?" Rhiya, who looked like she was hugging Jacque-Easse in a sort of lustful embrace, looked briefly and shook her head.
"The other one."

Suddenly, a wall grew and began separating AB and Arhra III. Acting upon reflex, Arhra managed to stay with AB. She glared angrily at Rhiya, who gave her a sultry smile, distracting her from the true nature of the trap.

The wall grabbed her from behind and yanked her to the other side, leaving AB once again very alone in an unfamiliar room. There were sounds coming from the only corridor leading away. Sounds very similar to squeaks of terror. Then there were heavy footsteps before...

~~
TB...
The prinny had attracted a LOT of attention, and with his stubby little peglegs couldn't outrun them far enough to actually lose any of their interest in the little penguin. Occasionally, Toastburner lucked out and a stray shrapnel blast from his bomb took a Nightmare Bat out of the skies, but there was a formidable force shambling down the corridor after the terrified penguin.

Then Toastburner rounded a corner and hit a dead end.

The dead end had AB in it.

~~
Arcanum...
As Arc dodged and weaved through the maze, spontaneously taking a turn at some point or just going straight for some while, he began to realise a certain lack in monsters chasing him.

As he pondered briefly, the floor beneath him gave way, sagging surprisingly fast like quicksand and dumping him in a slop on a lower level of the maze. Here, more Booger constructs awaited, but because of their slowness, Arc quickly outran them all.

However, his random path turned into a dead end. And was that AB and Toastburner there? And why the hell were they upside down?

(OOC: gravity's fucked with you, you're actually standing on the ceiling)

~~
Loyal...
Loyal didn't have as much luck with his leering new friend. It followed him, occasionally harrassing his path, or blocking one and opening new ones. It looked like he was herding Loyal around. And if Loyal didn't want to go there, a boot or a stone fist would erupt from the ground or walls or ceiling and loyal would be forced to duck in that direction.

But he was in a bit of luck! From around one corner as he ducked a particularly nasty boot (it was aimed too close to his family jewels), he heard the crack of a whip, and rounding the corner was...

~~
Arhra II...

It was getting irritating, the incessant dripping of glob and snot. Arhra II's nose curled delicately in disgust as she continued to clear a path without much problem. Of course, she knew the nature of the maze very well. It was clear that the maze would only do things it wanted to do for plot reasons or for the entertainment of the Lord of the kingdom, so fighting it would mean losing very fast.

Yes, it was better to just follow the path that the maze depicts. It doesn't make her any happier of course. Stupid mazes.

As she took out a nightmare bat from the skies, she rounded a corner and found a rather... 'amusing' site. Loyal was being assaulted on all sides by something... possibly the environment. He obviously didn't see one of the attacks coming and was batted to a sliding stop at Arhra II's feet.

~~

FF Fanboy and Flare...
Fanboy helped Flare to untangle from her own coils, before they heard an unfamiliar din. It was... a bit like the rumble of something very big coming this way. And then...

Very traditional of Indiana Jones' style, a big boulder came from DOWNSTAIRS, rolling up the stairs and gradually picking up speed. This was going to be interesting.

(OOC: The boulder is very hard to destroy. Running would take the both of you to a safe spot where Arhra II and EDIT: Loyal-thankyouarc are located.)

[Loyal]

Loyal grimaced as he slid to a stop, belly-down, and opened his eyes to see a pair of feet.

Looking up, he said with difficulty (as his jaw was to the floor), "'Ello, Ar'a. Have yoo met m'new friend Goalie the Wise?" He pointed at the amorphous wall construct behind him, which was now extending a hand from the wall and waving friendly-like, acting innocent as though nothing was wrong.

"I think he's trying to communicate with me, but I don't think I'm getting far. He just keeps kicking me." Goalie shook its "head" in disagreement, despite the fact that his most recent kick, sending Loyal to the floor, had been in Arhra's plain sight.

[Arhra]

Arhra II smiled wanly at the thief lying at her feet, a whip of some cold blue fire in her hands.

"Hello Loyal." the sorceress said. She looked at the grinning wall behind him. "Well, at least it hasn't been trying to kill you."

Suddenly she cracked her whip and her flaming attack-and-trap-decoy blob recoiled: it had been about to curl an amorphous tentacle around Loyal's leg.

She put a delicate hand up to her chin in a thoughtful pose. "Maybe that is how he talks. Have you tried kicking him back?"

[Flarecobra]

I started to hear the rumble, and took off at the first chance I had. I would be faster with legs....but I didn't bring anything to cover myself up in that form. So I moved as quickly as I could, not wanting to know what was behind me.

[FF fanboy]

Fanboy turned as he heard the rumble seeing the gigantic boulder heading their way. He saw Flare already running away he put on a sprint in order to catch up his breath falling heavily as he ran, they turned a corner thinkng they were safe when the boulder rolled AROUND the corner OH, COME ON! But then he realized that they were reaching a choke point with the man in rouges clothing, and the Woman in a dress from earlier. He put on an extra burst of speed picking, FlareCobra falling only slightly bhind as they ran/slithered down the long hallway the end of the hallway was near but the boulder was picking up speed, Flare, and Fanboy somehow managed to dive through the doorway right as the boulder collided with the doorway that was just small enough to stop it. Fanboy looked at Loyal ,and Arhra, and said "I'am SO not coming back here."
(If there is a problem with this just let me know, I tried to make it reasonable.)

[Astral Harmony]

Armored looked around and decided that screaming wasn't going to do her much good. She'd hafta actually do something on her own. Around a corner in the labyrinth, she spied two more Nightmare Bats. She was only going to beat them by getting the drop on them. Her hands were already glowing.

Suddenly, she stepped into view of the bats and brought her arms back. "Hear the vocals of the storm! Thunder Clap!"
A blast of thunderous sound smashed into the Nightmare Bats, disorienting them. Armored sprinted forward while drawing her sword and in two broad swipes, her enemies were no more. She hurried on in order to avoid becoming disoriented herself from the fecal fumes. "C'mon, Arhra, where did you go?" Armored asked herself, trying to find her comrade again, or anyone else for that matter.

[Arhra]

Arhra II's eyes widened slightly when she saw the massive boulder rolling after Flare and Fanboy. Fearing a terrible enemy had returned for bloody vengeance, she started casting a spell. Whirling her flaming whip, it traced out a sigil in fire, taking on an evil green glow as it hovered there.

She relaxed when she realised it was merely an inanimate boulder and thus not a shapeshifting flowstone boulder of pure hatred. She aborted her spell by slashing her whip through it. Chaotic acid harmlessly sprayed from the wounded, dissipating spell to either side of Flare and Fanboy. Droplets ran down the walls and formed small puddles, sizzling merrily.

"Oh, its you." she said without inflection to the two newcomers.

Meanwhile, her flaming slime blob oozed its way towards Flare, perhaps seeking a kindred spirit.

* * *

Arhra III was cursing to herself. "Stupid Rhiya, stupid Jackass and stupid Challenge of A Thousand Pancakes! Why did I even agree to this?"

She ducked under a giant, two pronged fork stabbed at her by a hulking demon. With the small fork she held she deftly jabbed out and swiped his pancake off the plate-like hat he wore and crammed it into her mouth, chewing and swallowing industriously. She leapt onto the back of another demon, dodging the array of forks jabbed at her but was forced to leap again as it clawed at her.

"Hah ha! One pancake down, 999 to go!" Arhra shouted with glee, mouth free of food. The nine hundred and ninety-nine large, burly demons attached to those pancakes did not look particularly impressed.

Arhra vengefully planted both of her feet in another demon's neck as she dropping onto the beast, felling it. She snatched up its pancake and giant fork and then and leapt free, running away through a forest of milling legs before it even hit the gorund.

"Hah, this pancake is mine! Just try and stop me!" she crowed, as demons jabbed at her fleeting figure. Her nose started bleeding at the mention of 'pancake'.

"The pancakes are also cursed?" Arhra III muttered. "Why am I not surprised?"

* * *

The past: Another country!

Seconds after enrolling in her Training From Hell course, Arhra III's first lesson had started.

"We'll start with speed training." her muscular demonic instructor said.

Arhra found herself forced to stand chest deep in the waters of a murky river, near the bank. The overhanging branches of a tree were laden with delicious fruits, tantalisingly within reach. Her stomch grumbled, gnawing on itself.

"Go ahead. You are free to eat."

Arhra's hand flashed out and the bough gently swayed out of reach.

"Speed!"

Her eyes narrowed. So this was how they were going to play it. An indeterminately long period of time later, Arhra finally snagged a fruit. She bit into it: it was delicious and moist. Hungrily devouring it, Arhra licked the juice off her fingers and took off with renewed energy. Half a minute later, she snagged her second fruit.

After a bout of gorging, the training session ended.

"I have to say, I'm impressed." The demon said conversationally. "I've never seen anyone get as many fruit as you."

"I am Arhra." a juice stained Arhra declared modestly and tiredly as she waded towards the shore. She then found something was terribly wrong when she dragged herself up the bank with aching arms and then overbalanced, rolling onto her back.

She flailed, having trouble getting up. Looking down, there seemed to be some great big mound sitting on her. A second later she realised it was her stomach. That only made things more confusing. She'd started to feel a little full, but normally she felt full well before her belly had swollen to the size of a baby porpoise.

"What the crap?" she tried experimentally, awkwardly heaving herself into a sitting position.

"Oh, the fruit is cursed. Makes you fat."

"You punish people for doing well?"

"No, we punish people for doing anything!"

"Then why should I do anything?" With impeccable timing, Arhra's stomach suddenly gurgled and expanded a little more.

"Because we punish even more if you don't!" the devil said, grinning widely. He pointed at her stomach. "Did I mention those fruit take quite a while to digest? You'll get even fatter if you don't work it off." His smile widened a little more. He had far too many teeth. "You might even explode."

"This is suspiciously similar to one of the worst things that happened to me ever." Arhra III remarked.

"THIS IS HELL!"

"Oh right." Arhra said dryly.

"Start running, fattie!"