That Movie Is Totally Not so Bad That It Physically Hurts You

[Mike McC]

Yeah, Waterworld really is a movie that isn't so bad that it's painful to watch. It's not a good movie, but it is quite watchable.

[Arhra]

I, I liked the Final Fantasy movie.

I found Waterworld pretty mediocre. The pirates were kind of funny though.

And yeah, Batman and Robin was terrible.

I'd like to say the Phantom Menace. It just annoyed me. Jar Jar Binks, pointless R2D2 and C3PO cameos, inexplicable giant fish, the gorram pod racing, a nine year old single handedly taking out the Death Star Droid Control Ship...

What they should have done is introduced Anakin at an older age and added more Darth Maul.

PS: Alderaan shot first!

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

I mean I got the point of the thread.

Well since they pitched out Fight Club and Blade Runner as 'bad movies' it's a good assumption that yes, they have.

I never said Blade Runner was bad, I merely said it bored the living shit out of me, which was, you know, the point of the thread. I'm sure BR is a brilliant film and I'm well aware of its success, but the thread called for us to give films we as individuals hated and this was one that came to my mind.

Titanic is also supposedly a great movie, but you wouldn't find me watching it for the same reason as the others. Really, movies are like music; everyone has different tastes. I'm sure some people on here quite like the sounds of Beethoven or some such, but to me it's like kryptonite, causing me intense neurologiccal pain. Movies are the same.

[Lord of Joshelplex]

Originally Posted by RickZarber

I'm honestly surprised no one has mentioned Waterworld yet.

I'm honestly surprised I havent destroyed you yet.

[POS Industries]

Originally Posted by Hawk

I never said Blade Runner was bad, I merely said it bored the living shit out of me, which was, you know, the point of the thread.

I don't know where you got the idea that a thread called "Movies So Bad They Physically Hurt You" would include movies that, even by your own admission, weren't bad. You know, since the word "bad" is right there in the title.

But like no seriously, there's really no fathoming how bad AvP2 was. I mean, at least Batman and Robin had the hilarious-for-the-wrong-reason lines like "Ice to meet you!" AvP2 was designed in such a way to suggest that the filmmakers were fully aware of how bad the movie was and so they set out to make sure that no one watching it could adequately and audibly question or riff on what was happening on screen through clever editing and sheer loudness.

The best example I can give is that, near the beginning of the movie, a man has taken his son out hunting and they are attacked by facehuggers. So this kid is standing there seeing his father getting face-humped by some alien bug while acid blood dissolves one of his arms, and the kid seems to be relatively unphased by this, and starts very calmly asking if his dad is all right. This, of course, would be a perfect time to comment to your friends on how stupid this kid has to be, but before you can even draw in a breath to speak, another facehugger jumps out and attacks the kid and the scene ends.

The best part of this is that they did the exact same thing with the exact same two characters later in the movie, except this time with the aliens bursting out of their chests. Don't get me wrong, it's all hilarious in retrospect, but they just won't let you have fun with it in the moment.

See also: The Predator's half-assed attempts at covering up the existence of aliens on Earth with magic blue glowing dissolving potion, immediately followed by blowing up like half the town himself and even skinning a guy that he killed and hanging him from a tree for everybody to find. I can only imagine that this sort of behavior is the reason he was left behind on the Predator homeworld while the others all went to Earth to hunt xenomorphs in the first movie.

Oh, and did I mention the Predator/Xenomorph hybrid getting lose in the maternity ward? I did? Well, let me elaborate. So after making it clear that the hybrid had pretty much made a buffet for itself in the room full of babies, it decides to go attack a woman while she's in labor, using what I'm assuming was its built in facehugger attachment to graphically deposit eggs down her throat and through her umbilical cord into the bodies of her unborn triplets, from which I understand more aliens came bursting out later in the movie. I don't know that last part for a fact, however, because this is when I stopped watching.

And no, I'm not putting this shit in spoiler tags because I have no sympathy for anyone who hasn't seen this movie and plans to. You have been warned.

[Odjn]

Originally Posted by Arhra

I, I liked the Final Fantasy movie.

I think it's the Arhra-ness that keeps us from mocking you.

[Mirai Gen]

Oh, and did I mention the Predator/Xenomorph hybrid getting lose in the maternity ward? I did? Well, let me elaborate. So after making it clear that the hybrid had pretty much made a buffet for itself in the room full of babies, it decides to go attack a woman while she's in labor, using what I'm assuming was its built in facehugger attachment to graphically deposit eggs down her throat and through her umbilical cord into the bodies of her unborn triplets, from which I understand more aliens came bursting out later in the movie. I don't know that last part for a fact, however, because this is when I stopped watching.

Yeah that was like the director hitting you in the face with how graphic and dark he wanted you to think he was. You can just know that he was terrified you didn't notice.

I mean, at least Batman and Robin had the hilarious-for-the-wrong-reason lines like "Ice to meet you!"

I'm sorry but that wasn't even hilarious in any way, it just made me sit and stare and wonder where Mr. Freeze was and why they put in Mistah Ihrans.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Originally Posted by Arhra

What they should have done is introduced Anakin at an older age and added more Darth Maul.

More Darth Maul? He had no characterisation at all. He was just a guy with a double lightsaber.
I mean maybe if he had of been int he movie more he would have got some but judging by the rest of that movie I doubt it.

[Arhra]

Yes, that's the point. He seemed like he could have been interesting, but he didn't really do anything.

[Gorefiend]

I used to like Kung Pow: Enter the Fist. I was thirteen, and I saw it with other people, first, and all the other times I saw it I was partly warm and fuzzy cause that first time I saw it I had been with other people.

I saw it again after not seeing it for a while when I was fifteen. It hurt. Literally. It hurt more cause I had defended it before.

And, I just saw The Fifth Element. It kinda hurt, but I have a weak spot for pulpy action-sci fi movies. I'm sure, however, it'll get you all started.

As far as Darth Maul; I actually noticed that a little, even though I saw that movie really as a kid. In retrospect, it WOULD be cool to get some Darth Maul backstory. Even if it was kinda like this.