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02-17-2011, 07:45 PM
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#41 |
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OMG! WHAT SHOULD I DO NOW?
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 3,802
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> BE SOMEONE ELSE WHILE YOU CALM DOWN.
You are now Sharl. The merchant's expression seemed fixed into a state of severe frustration. However, the worst of it was over. He had acquired some information from the last conversation. Regardless of his motivation for revenge, preserving profits or self-preservation, Sharl was now very much attentive to the need for attention to the game's mechanics. Right now, he has a promise to keep, and quite swiftly too. Code:
butketHed [BH] began trolling omnipotentOmnivore [OO] BH: I'm sorry. I don't have much time to talk. BH: So many people to talk to. :sweatdrop BH: Stay near the game and don't delete it. BH: Our ultimate survival might require successfully completing the chain that Caoway went into details about. BH: One thing more... about the game... >-> BH: It might be able to revive Nommington. OO: it... can? OO: how did you figure that out? BH: I didn't figure it out. More like accquired the data from the grubvine. :cool: BH: But Reztek seem to have gotten some info from the future. Strange really... :wtf: BH: The full details is rather involved so I don't think we have time to discuss it... BH: :crossarms: but due to the unique circumstances involved, he's convinced that it is genuine. BH: :rolleyes: and considering the alternative is destruction, I'm willing to give it a shot... OO: ..... OO: all right. i'll take your word for it. OO: i wanna do shome reshearch into thish. OO: but... for now, i'll give thish the benefit of a doubt. OO: when the time comesh, i'll join the game and complete the chain. Code:
butketHed [BH] began trolling hastyExecutor [HE] BH: :( Iropha, I hope this message doesn't come to you at a bad time, but I am afraid I have to cancel my delivery requests. BH: My clients all canceled their orders. :crying: BH: A rash of unfortunate incidents which I'm most upset about. :argh: BH: Anyhow, it is of no fault of your own, and I apologize for the extremely short notice. :ohdear: BH: Wishing that I may have more clients later on to continue our business relationship. And hoping you are doing well outside of that as well. :) Last edited by Menarker; 02-17-2011 at 07:48 PM. |
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02-17-2011, 11:12 PM
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#42 |
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Feelin' Super!
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 4,191
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> GO FIND SOMEONE ELSE WHILE SHARL RESEARCHES GAME MECHANICS AND WAITS FOR A RESPONSE...
You are now brooding as Nasryl, crying over your failure. It was your fault, you're supposed to be a doctor. You are awful though, why are you so worthless? Is it fate? Are you just destined to be like... him no matter what? Either way, you are no healer. >Nasryl: Abort You speak with Sharl about canceling your shipment. You just can't carry on anymore. Over your sobs however, you hear a ping on your HUSKTOP. Aldurin again? Too bad for him, he can deal with whatever injury he has given himself on his own. ...fine you'll answer him. Code:
-- technopathicalAnomaly [TA] began trolling hazardousPracticioner [HP] -- TA: nAsrYl TA: . . . TA: thErE Is stIll rOOm If yOU chAngE yOUr mInd HP: fuck off Derpah HP: Im brooding HP: Again HP: You can go play the fake apocalypse without me TA: lOOk OUtsIdE, lOOk At thE mEtEOrs pEltIng thE plAnEt rIght nOw TA: thIs shIt Is mOrE rEAl thAn I ExpEctEd, And cAOwAy hAs AlrEAdY prOvEn thIs gAmE Is thE wAy OUt Code:
HP: wondrous everyone's dying HP: Have fun then ill die with dignity knowing I didn't contribute TA: This can't get any worse TA: Burgun already got this thing spread around the world TA: It's likely more meteors than there are at the moment will appear as soon as most everyone finishes installing it TA: So what's to hold you back from surviving? HP: Yeah, I should do it because everyone else is HP: Makes loads of sense HP: I should totally go with the fucking crowd Im just that much of a tool right? TA: What's that commitment that doctors have? TA: Something like "do everything you can to help people"? TA: Well you can still do that, you can be the team medic or something TA: I don't want to rely on Scalis' medical archives HP: Your about 5 minutes too late HP: I quit being a fucking doctor HP: I've fucking killed 2 more today, some Flarper and my lusus HP: Fucking done with this TA: Just because they die on your operating table doesn't mean that you killed them TA: You're trying your hardest to fight one of the most inevitable events in life, death itself TA: That takes some real globes to do that on a regular basis TA: Also I'm sure that whoever your next patient is won't be one that dies while you're helping him TA: Since I know that you'll eventually pull out of this and come along for the ride HP: ... Maybe there is hope? Code:
HP: YXu really think sX? TA: Yes, I'm sure you'll hit your stride TA: Just as something I don't discuss with anyone, most of the stuff I've built in the past has either fallen apart or blown up in my face, when it wasn't designed to TA: It's taken practice and a lot of trail and error to get it right TA: And I just get the feeling that whatever it is that we're going into is the ultimate opportunity to grow, to achieve beyond what any troll would dream of TA: So I'll give you some time to think it over, let me know when you're ready to come technopathicalAnomaly [TA] ceased trolling hazardousPracticioner [HP] HP:... thanks Aldurin Oh look at that someone's talking to you. Code:
-- bathorysIllustrator [BI] has begun pestering hazardousPractitioner [HP] -- BI: VAROLA HP: What dX yXu want I'm busy BI: WELL STOP BEING BUSY WITH YOUR USELESSNESS AND BE BUSY WITH ME BI: my lusus is dying BI: HELPE ME HP: uhh what You are suddenly interrupted by another chat window Code:
-- burlesqueBalderdash [BB] began trolling hazardousPracticioner [HP] -- BB: O>o nasryl something terrible has happened STOP BB: O>o vicki is in need of medical assistance STOP BB: O>o give me instructions on how to STOP STOP BB: O>o uhhhh STOP BB: O>o death STOP HP: what HP: uhh well im nXt sX actually nevermind I can help HP: Tell me what the situation is and make it quick. I'll give what advice I can Code:
BI: WELL HP: I need tX know the situation first! HP: Tell me what happened BI: i was upstairse and saw him and their was a guitare and then everything blew up BI: his lefte fin is gone and he bleeding the water smells like blood tell me what to DO HP: Xh gXd uhhh cauterize it, get hXt metal Xr something burning and seal the wXund BI: IME UNDERWATER AND EVERYTHINGS COLDE HP: Then yXu have tX make a tXurniquet get some clXth and sXmething to tie it with. BI: hes sharpe and hell cut it and i cant touche him Code:
BB: there's a gaping wound in his head STOP BB: im gonna say its pretty serious STOP HP: Xh gXg this is heavy stuff HP: Apply pressure, stXp the bleeding HP: Keep sXmething wrapped arXund, dXn't mXve him tXX much BB: oh man oh man STOP BB: i cant find anything STOP BB: uhhhhhh STOP HP: Panic is bad. It can be anything, preferably clXth and clean HP: Apply pressure and stXp as much as pXssible BB: ok ok caaaaaalm STOP BB: ... STOP BB: is blood sometimes in spongy chunks STOP HP: HP: HP: NX BB: ... STOP BB: that is never going to wash out is it STOP BB: ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff HP: YXU there Vintag?!! HP: There's always hXpe! I think HP: Fffucck HP: Vierth needs help I gXtta gX I am sX sXrry fXr yXur lXss!!! -- [color=lime]hazardousPractitioner [HP] has ceased pestering burlesqueBalderdash [BB] -- Code:
BI: tell me whate to do! HP: yXu have tX I dXn't knXw HP: I dXn't knXw what can be dXne BI: no no no no no no no no! BI: HELPE ME NOW! HP: uhhhh BI: HES STILLE BLEEDINGE AND HE ISN'T MOVING HP: I AM VERY SXRRY FXR YXUR LXSS MAM -- hazardousPractitioner [HP] has performed an unsafe disconnection BI: YOU GET THE FUCKE BACK HERE LOWBLOOD BI: WHY ARE YOU SO USELESSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! BI: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Yeah you're pretty sure that went well. >Glissa: reach the top floor You are now Glissa short amount of time in the past, and you have finally made it to the top floor of your HIVE. It is here that you go to visit your LUSUS at least once every day. Not many things live out here in the artic circle, but the things that do are incredibly dangerous. It is very fortunate for you that your lusus is a SERRATED MANTARATOR, making him even more dangerous. Every day, he always circles the area around the HIVE to ensure your safety. It is good to see him once a day to show him your gratitude. However, he is a bit late. While waiting, you decide to observe some of your ANTIQUES in storage up here. One in particular gets your attention. It is the VAN HELLAN AX of course. Only the most righteous guitar to ever bless paradox space. Its power of ROCK is untold, and it is dangerous to the user and all around him or her. However, legends foretell the CHOSEN ONE who can tame its sick chords and harness its power to ROCK THE FUCK OUT like no one has ever before. The METAL MESSIAH has yet to show himself though, and you have declined selling the relic. Maybe though... just maybe you have come into possession of this divine STRINGED INSTRUMENT for a reason? Its worth a try. The legends of its power are probably an exaggeration anyways. >Glissa: Rock the Fuck out You wake up 10 minutes later with what feels like a concussion, and you appear to be bleeding from the back of your neck. You shakily rise to your feet to find that you were catapulted from the top floor of your hive to the surface some quarter mile away. You see that the top floor was completely wiped out in the destruction. Limping forward, you drag yourself back to the front of your HIVE to find your LUSUS, Biroste, laying on his back. Oh man oh gog where did the right side of him go? Show Lusus Log You begin to feel rather hysterical. This isn't really happening right? Oh god you can't even see your own hands through the purple anymore. You need help. >Glissa: Contact Nasryl You proceed to have the conversation detailed above. It proves a failure, and he abandons you. You are sort of flipping your shit right now. ========> Last edited by Bard The 5th LW; 02-17-2011 at 11:24 PM. |
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02-27-2011, 12:38 PM
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#43 |
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Moves Like Jagger, Kupo!
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: To the south, a little to the left... Or to the right.
Posts: 4,910
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========>
Who do you want to be now? >Be Zebrek. You can't be Zebrek because Zebrek is too sad right now! >Be Zebrek anyway. Fine, you're Zebrek. >Zebrek: Bury your lusus. You don't have the tools for that! >Find tools. You think there's something in your collection you could use to dig a grave. After wiping your eyes, you climb the tree and hide Twinkleberry in the upper branches. Hopefully he'll be safe from predators there until you get back. ========> With Twinkleberry hidden, you slowly make your way back to your cave in a mournful shuffle. In your state, you don't even notice that the sky is covered with hundreds of fiery shooting stars, all falling at the same time. If you noticed them, you might wish for Twinkleberry to come back. And it would count for a hundred, so it would definitely come true. But you don't. You just look at the ground as your feet scrape the grass. You don't try to stop the tears anymore. >Zebrek: Accelerate. You are now Zebrek in the future. It looks like you're in a... wedding? >What? Show Weddinglog >Zebrek: Decelerate. You are now moving through time at a slower rate. Now you can watch this atrocity in slow motion! >CAN WE PLEASE JUST BE CURRENT ZEBREK SLIGHTLY IN THE FUTURE Well why didn't you just say so? You're now current Zebrek slightly in the future. You've just gotten back to your hive. On your way back, you had time to think. Now you're angry. You're going to find whoever was responsible and make them pay. ========> Going to the other room, you find the culprit. You have enough sense not to look at the book, since you know Twinkleberry was looking at it before he... >Destroy it. You shoot the damn thing until it's nothing more than burnt scraps of paper. >Find the culprit. You go back to your husktop. You still have that conversation with Iropha open. >Zebrek: Interrogate. Code:
hastyExecutor [HE] began trolling spectaularHellion[SH] HE: ZEBRE|<, BL^C|<M^IL >ELIvERY! ESTIM^TE> TIME OF ^RRIv^L: 23 SECON>S! BR^CE FOR IMP^CT!!! SH: a delivery? SH: but its not even my wriggling day! SH: iropha SH: IROPHA SH: HOW COULD YOU SH: WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT HE: I'M JUST THE MESSENGER SH: WHO SENT IT SH: WHO SENT THAT BOOK HE: ^ >ELIvER^TOR NEvER REvE^LS HER CLIENTS!!! HE: IT W^S BL^CKM^IL HE: YOU SHOUL> H^vE KNOWN THE RISKS WHEN YOU OPENE> IT SH: THAT BOOK KILLED MY LUSUS SH: IT MADE HIM GO INSANE SH: TWINKLEBERRY SH: twinkleberrys dead SH: i killed him SH: please iropha tell me HE: ... HE: SORRY TO HE^R TH^T, BUT I C^NNOT ^N> WILL NOT TELL YOU SH: please SH: he was my best friend SH: i need to know HE: OR WH^T? SH: ... SH: i dont know SH: youre my friend SH: i cant hurt you HE: H^R>EN UP YOU MISER^BLE LITTLE WIGGLER!!! HE: IT W^S ^ BOO|<, YOU S^Y? HE: WHO >O YOU THIN|< COUL> POSSIBLY H^vE SENT YOU ^ CURSE> BOO|<?!?!?! SH: ... SH: a book SH: wait SH: you mean HE: I >ON'T REC^LL ME^NING ^NYTHING SH: scalis? SH: but why? HE: I C^N NEITHER CONFIRM NOR >ENY TH^T!!! [color="deepskyblue"]SH: thank you iropha spectacularHellion [SH] ceased being trolled by hastyExecutor [HE] That... He... WHY >Interrogate. Code:
spectacularHellion [SH] began trolling pandorasArchivist [PA] SH: HOW COULD YOU SH: HOW COULD YOU SH: why would you SH: why would you do that PA: Oh Sweet Troll Jegus. PA: What hanepped? SH: twinkleberrys dead SH: WHY WOULD YOU SEND ME THAT BOOK PA: Dammit. I gto your Lusus? SH: you SH: you SH: TELL ME WHY PA: Becuase. PA: Becuase I rebmermed. PA: Rebmermed axectly what you did. PA: Adn waht you are. SH: im what? SH: what did i do SH: WHAT DID I DO TO MAKE YOU DO THAT TO TWINKLEBERRY PA: I alogopize. I did not maen to tagret your lusus. PA: I had amussed that you wuold at the very laest look at it. SH: WHY SH: TELL ME WHY PA: Bacuese your defield my hiev, detsroyed my wrok, broek my law. PA: Bacuese you shoewd that only yuor onw law is rael to you. PA: Taht you aer a chidl. PA: Adn yuo aer an Anomaly. SH: im what? SH: THIS IS ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED BEFORE? SH: I SAID I WAS SORRY SH: I APOLOGIZED SO MUCH SH: im so so sorry SH: i cant forgive you for this PA: You aer sorry? PA: Here adn now yuo say you are sorry? PA: You maed me hate you. Haet you so much. For no raeson? SH: i said it then! SH: i said it and now twinkleberrys dead! PA: Yuo siad it then? No. PA: No, yuo were defaint then. You... PA: You were the emeny. PA: I rebermem! SH: i did SH: i did! SH: you killed my best friend! PA: It was teh... rihgt chioce. PA: Teh olny chioce. PA: I... had to, you are waht I keep at bay no moer no less, you... SH: I'm going to kill you. spectacularHellion [SH] ceased trolling pandorasArchivist [PA] PA: Enuohg. You're no berett tahn I thought. pandorasArchivist [PA] ceased trolling spectacularHellion SH] You would, if your stupid lousy goddamn friends would stop trolling you! Code:
absentPsychologist [AP] began trolling spectacularHellion [SH] AP: Zeb? You there? SH: what do you want SH: go away leraje AP: Zeb, you know I can't. I'm worried about you. Look I'm even using proper punctuation. AP: You have my full attention. SH: i dont care! SH: i dont care about what you want to talk about or about the stupid quadrants i hate the quadrants AP: This isn't about the quadrants. Fuck the quadrants dammit. This is about... AP: This is about loss. Seymour is gone. And I think I know why you are so upset as well. SH: shut up! SH: i dont want to talk i hate you and i hate the quadrants and theyre stupid stupid stupid stupid SH: stupid because you tell someone you like them and it turns out they dont like you back because why would anyone like you youre just annoying and it hurts and the quadrants suck SH: what you do is stupid! SH: i hate it hate it hate it hate it!!!!!! AP: That is fine. Zeb, tell me everything. I want to hear everything. I need some clarity, I thought it was just Twinkleberry. But there is something else tearing at you. SH: shut up! SH: i dont want to talk about SH: about SH: him SH: i cant SH: i dont want to talk to you leraje just go away! AP: Zeb. I'll leave. I just...I. AP: Bye. ;_; absentPsychologist [AP] stopped trolling spectacularHellion [SH] You just want your friend back. >Get trolled more. God, what does Derpah want? Code:
technopathicalAnomaly [TA] began trolling spectacularHellion [SH] TA: zEbrEk, ArE yOU stIll Up fOr thIs gAmE? TA: I sAw In thE mEmO thAt yOUr lUsUs dIEd, sO I'm jUst mAkIng sUrE yOU'rE stIll rEAdY fOr thIs SH: i dont want to play anymore TA: whY? yOU knOw It's cErtAIn dEAth tO stAy SH: i dont care TA: thIs Is AbOUt twInklEbErrY Isn't It? TA: yOU'rE nOt thE OnlY pErsOn whO hAs lOst thEIr lUsUs TA: fOr sOmE rEAsOn mOst EvErYOnE ElsE's hAs dIEd Off TA: I'm stArtIng tO gEt wOrrIEd AbOUt mY Own SH: i dont care! SH: i just SH: i cant play anymore TA: wEll, mAybE tAlkIng AbOUt It wIll mAkE yOU fEEl bEttEr TA: hOw dId It hAppEn? SH: it SH: it was a book SH: twinkleberry looked at it SH: and SH: and SH: and he went crazy SH: and he was biting and hurting me SH: and my shotgun went off TA: whY dIdn't yOU hAvE thE sAfEtY On? SH: the what TA: thE sAfEtY, It's thE lIttlE lEvEr On thE sIdE thAt kEEps It frOm fIrIng TA: EvErY gUn hAs OnE bUIlt In SH: the SH: that SH: but spectacularHellion [SH] ceased being trolled by technopathicalAnomaly [TA] >Zebrek: Inspect shotgun. It's right there. That little lever. You never knew what it did. You would flick it back and forth and nothing happened, so you figured it didn't do anything. >Flip it. You flip it and attempt to fire. Nothing happens. Derpah was telling the truth. If you knew... if you paid attention... You throw the gun at the wall in a fit of rage. ========>  It was your fault. It was all your fault. >Get trolled by Leraje again. Code:
absentPsychologist [AP] began trolling spectacularHellion [SH] AP: Are you there Zeb? SH: what AP: Tell me what has you so upset. SH: twinkleberry SH: he SH: hes dead SH: he was my best friend SH: and it was my fault AP: Last time when you snapped at me you made it seem like that wasn't all. What else is happening? SH: i told her SH: i told her how i felt SH: and she didnt like me back SH: and it hurts SH: romance sucks AP: I thought that couldn't be it. AP: The scene is bad Zeb, and I'm sorry. I can't promise you I'll fix it, but I'm going to do whatever I can to help. AP: How did he die? SH: it was a book SH: twinkleberry looked at it and he went SH: crazy AP: ...it was Scalis wasn't it? He is the only person who would have that kind of literature. SH: yes SH: iropha told me SH: she delivered it SH: im going to kill him AP: I'll be sure to keep him locked up if I see him first. AP: But we're going to have to keep playing. Even if this sucks. I don't think we can reach him the old fashioned way anymore. SH: what? SH: i dont want to play anymore AP: I can understand that, but we are dealing with really weird shit now. If you want to kill him, you are going to have to play. If you don't, he'll just be wherever the fuck I am now. AP: I think the guide calls it the Medium. AP: We have to make him pay. It can't just end. SH: oh SH: ... SH: i guess AP: So, ready to take out some aggression on some Imps? Because these assholes suck in a big way. SH: are they bad guys? AP: Well a couple of them seemed kinda scared. But they tried to deface Seymour. AP: And I'll fucking murder anyone who touches him. SH: oh SH: ok AP: Anyway....try to get. Better, alright? I'm counting on you man. SH: ok absentPsychologist's PDHand exploded. SH: leraje? Oh God oh God. Something happened to Leraje. What do you do, what do you do?! >Zebrek: Randomly explode. What? That would be silly why would you just randomly expl- BOOM >2X CLIFFHANGER COMBO
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Dracorion's dumbass color is Royal Blue. If you see that color, you better run the fuck away. Last edited by Dracorion; 02-27-2011 at 12:48 PM. |
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02-28-2011, 05:56 PM
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#44 | |
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An eagle with the head of a turtle-
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: and the body of a turtle.
Posts: 1,371
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TO BE COCTINUED..
> This is bull.
You are now Leraje. In the past. > FFFFFFFFFF-NOOOOOOOOOOO! Not him again! The tears have almost stopped! Sorry, but the tears will never stop and you're not going anywhere without a proper transition combo. You're stuck here for the time being, bub. > Leraje's Hive: Be in a another time. There is a sudden scene transition to the same spot many years in the future, a time when the meddler and his hive have long since left for greener pastures. The only evidence that it was ever there is a large crater in the sands, left by a meteor that probably would have killed him had he not gained entry at the very last second. The view closes in on the center of the crater, where a manhole cover with a strange spirograph design rests beside a dark passageway into the earth below. We travel into the hole and down through the winding tunnel leading to the inner chambers of this buried station. You now enter a rather dark room, the only source of illumination is the light of a single monitor on the hexadecascreen at the east end, which happens to be showing a large pile of burning books. Cutting the light of the bonfire from the screen, is shape of a tall, black carapace'd individual with only some very maculate rags wrapped around their body. This person turns their attention from screen to you. And then back to the screen again, cuz let's face it you're not more interesting then a pile of burning books. > Mystery Person: Type => Switch 2. Nope, she's ignoring you. She types in => Switch 4 and another screen switches on, this one showing an asshat-ish looking troll standing in a small pile of grist and his sparkling bug-sprite thing. The drifter seems to recognize the troll and mutters the word “reaper” under her breath, along with a few choice expletives. She then becomes entranced with the sprite, which is understandable. I mean, look at him. He's like a glittering, insectoid Adonis. The fair tone of his exoskeleton, such sharp monstrous features, luscious full antennae on his head, and those smoldering compound eyes! He's... he's gorgeous! I must have him! > Mystery Person: For the love of Gog, type => Switch 2! The stranger ignores your request and draws her lips closer to the screen. A sudden tremor shakes the command station and brings her back to her senses. She hastily switches screens so she does not fall victim to the mantis ghost's Glamour again. This screen shows a traumatized troll weeping over the body of a giant lizard or something like it. This screen seems to have a lock symbol on it, meaning that she can only view this troll, not talk to or influence his actions. That's no fun. > Gross Hobo: Type => Switch 2. The dusty vagrant types => Switch 11 and a screen turns on with a bubbling chowder-pot full of... something on it. Another lock sign though. Typical. > Pretty Miss: Type => Switch 2. Flattery will get you nowhere with her. Another monitor switches on and we see troll child wearing aviator sunglasses driving back some really nasty monsters with her own detached robot arm. Locked, of course. This is really starting to chafe the lady. > Stubborn Bitch: Type => Switch 2. Not fig is given by her this day, although she was generous enough to give you a finger. A screen near the bottom pops on, this one displaying a horned ragamuffin who it seems is trying to resuscitate a disembodied imp head. She tries to type an insult at him but is met with a big fat lock icon. Blast. She's grown bored with this piece of junk and wanders a little ways away to some sort of lumpy pile on the floor. Hard to make out what it is in this light. > Holy hell, what do I have to do to control this person? Type ========> ========> You are now the Intractable Drifter, an exile who has wandered the wastes of this dead planet for many a year. You discovered this command station mere minutes ago when you tripped over a half buried chest in the sands and fell face first onto the hatch cover. You decided to explore the innards of this station but you're beginning to lose interest in it and your newly discovered hexadecascreen console. Right now you stand in the west end of the room next to... something that I can't quite make out in the dim light of the monitor. What would you like to do now? > ID: Retrieve arms from chest. Okay, first off: You can't hardly see anything in the room right now. Second, your arms attached to your shoulders. Clap-Clap See? Whoa! Would you look at that, the lights came on! Now you can see everything perfectly. The lumpy pile next to your feet is revealed to be nothing more than the chest from earlier and a jumble of cans that fell out when you took the CAPS LOCK off. You check the chest but you don't find any arms, just a pair of angular, dark tinted eye-wear. You guess it would make a good shiv in pinch, so you pick it up and holster it in the bindings on your hip. > ID: Open several cans with the pointy anime-shades and imbibe the contents. Nah, you had a whole nut creature for breakfast not too long ago so you're not hungry at the moment. Sort of thirsty though. It does occur to you that taking a few cans along would be a good idea. You never know when your next meal is going to be on this god-forsaken hole of a rock. You pick the cans up and strap them into your bindings in alphabetical order. There, now hunger will never catch you off guard again. > ID: Read book on troll etiquette. This thing? You found it to be a very boring read so you decided to tear the pages out and put them to better use. Look, you made bunch of little origami people and animals and things and have set them up in the south end of the room. You are very proud of your newly birthed crafts. > ID: Fondly regard your creations. You look down upon your folded paper children in a sort of matriarchal manner, like you were some kind of watermark on high. They are all perfect in your eyes, each one a literal work of art. Well, except for this dog, it came out a little wonky. Eh, it's cool. Not like there's anybody here to criticize your work. > ID: Prepare for imminent raid from a roving gang of trolls. The notion of preparing for any kind of raid strikes you as an incredible waste of time. You've trudged across the sands of this world for years and have yet to see any other living thing intelligent enough to form a gang of unruly punks. You do come across little odds and ends that seem to be leftovers from a once proud society of people who dressed up as winged creatures of the night and wore cleaning supplies as headgear, but it's pretty clear that they were either wiped out or moved on to another planet eons ago. It makes you a little sad sometimes, being by yourself in this great big empty wasteland. Sitting by the campfire at night, looking at little artifacts from days long past, and making little rhymes all by your lonesome. You still have hope though. Hope that there may be other exiles like you, traversing these barren lands. Hope that they may be united through the power of word-tech and together you can make some strict progress on rebuilding civilization. This belief in a better tomorrow made possible by the verbal pulse that thumps in the hearts of all living things may be the only thing keeping you going. > ID: Make believe you're a giant monster and attack the origami creatures. Shut up and jam? Well, don't mind if you do! You slap on the shades and prop your leg on top of the chest. This is how we do it. okay check it. mistress of the paper-craft, bout to give you the shaft think you can out-rap me? boy you must daft but go ahead i could use a good laugh hidden beneath these rags, the rights to brag a goddess of wordtech not a rhythm-less hag so lets settle the score here on the floor i don't squabble its straight-up war that I wage since a long past age since my strife against the sage and his buddy the mage makes me wanna rage and rip up out some page but I dont gives strength to the pen, mightier than the sword greater than any weapon in the steward's horde open the wrong book and find yourself gored youll never be bored but you may get floored come harvest-time cuz of the crime you committed in her eyes brought before the judge to expose the lies the wrong-doings that chaos can never disguise she'll try to chop you up and serve with fries so rewind to the right when and place inciphisphere is never short on time or space but it aint always the case though cuz the thief may rob you of that bro you try to stop em but find you're too slow so go and find the dork who reverberates tell him bout the incident so that he can sates his childish need to be the hero but they're all big zeroes rock-collectors and adult-kids and quacks think theyre the stars but theyre all hacks fixed nothing and left behind only ruins raptacular savior is a role i can fill in so gather parchment followers and we'll lift up the rubble strength in numbers enough to overcome our trouble we'll raise it high in the sky and act like it heavy though its not now its time to let it go so drop it like its... drop it like its... Fuck! Can't think of any simile to make here. Why would you drop something? C'mon c'mon! Ahhhhh, you've already lost the rhythm. You kick the chest over in disgust. This is pathetic. Years without a proper rap-off have atrophied your ability to let loose the righteous flow of your soul. The total lack of strict beats isn't helping matters neither. > ID: Pull spare turntable out of sylladex. Yeah, that's not gonna happen. Glossing over the fact that you have no idea what the hell a sylladex is, you don't have anymore turntables to pull out. Your last one was knifed ages ago by your dickhead superior. Sour-puss son of a bitch was always shutting you down just as things started to get deliriously biznasty. He cracked down even harder once those horned dipshits started popping out of the woodwork and handing out beat-downs like they were cheap cigars. God, you hate him. And you hate those kids even more. What they did to you... > ID: Get really fucking frustrated over the memory of the incident. You decide to stop seething and return to the console and start fiddling around with it again. Maybe this thing has some fresh jams stored in it somewhere. > ID: Press TAB. There is no tab button. Or rather, the word TAB has been scraped off the button and GUS has been written in its place. > ID: Press GUS. You press the button and the second compartment on the north wall flips open. Several glass bottles of lukewarm soda tumble to the floor and roll around. > ID: Pop open a bunch of bottles and just go nuts! Yeah! Woo-hoo! This is- THIS IS- This is moronic. You mean, yeah this is a terrific turn of events. First bit of drinkable liquid you've had in days, but it's not really anything that warrants jumping straight through the ceiling and pulling off a spastic, mid-air full body revolution whilst releasing a shower of carbonated cinnabar ejaculate onto everything in sight. You've never even tried this drink before and thus are not sure if it is all that great anyway. > ID: Cautiously sip swill, but be prepared to BLUH at a moment's notice. You chug the soda with reckless abandon and find that is pretty decent. It's lightly carbonated and not too sweet. Tastes like pomegranate. Truly a drink for those with a discerning adult palate. Still not something to launch your shit up into orbit over. Your thirst is now quenched and you experience no caffeine high. > ID: Seek out a sparring partner to sharpen rhyming chops. Oh yesss, now that's a command! You spare a moment to holster a couple bottles before rushing back to the command console. Let's see... Who shall be the first to receive the gift of utter verbal ruination?
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Some quote: Quote:
Last edited by Intern Nin; 03-01-2011 at 11:57 PM. |
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03-01-2011, 10:25 PM
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#45 |
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So Dreamy
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Someplace magical
Posts: 6,863
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>Be the lucky recipient of aforementioned gift.
Error: You can't be the lucky recipient because she hasn't decided who to talk to yet! >Be someone else. You are now GORRMA. >...... Don't worry. The tears have finally stopped. You are now sitting at your computer, contemplating this latest turn of events. Your CONVERSATION with SHARL has left you pensive. Could it be true? Could this game really hold the key to resurrecting your lusus? It sounded impossible, but then, so did the idea that installing a video game on your half-eaten husktop could bring about the apocalypse. You chew your lower lip thoughtfully. You had, in all honesty, considered abandoning the SGRUB game and going on a vengeful hunt-down of your former friend Aldurin. If you found his hive, justice would be served with a side of fries. If your failure to connect to the game doomed the entire world... well, Aldurin would still die anyway, so it wasn't a total loss. But now the possibility of reversing the damage done to Nommington beckoned. And you DID just tell Sharl you'd play... Ugh, this is so confusing! You hate moral quandries! To risk dooming the world in order to get revenge, or to risk letting a murderer get away on the heresay rumor that you could resurrect a friend. You don't know what to do! If only someone would send you a SIGN! Some sort of divine guidance, letting you know which path you should follow! If only the ghost of your dearly departed lusus would appear now before you, to offer you a word of wisd--- oh hey, is that an Alternian gigapede on the ground over there?? >....what Oh wow, it IS! You jump up from your husktop and GOURMANCER HARVEST-POUNCE on the little armored creature. You grab the insect before it can scurry away on its billion little legs back into your larder. The ALTERNIAN GIGAPEDE was a symbol of good luck. The hard-to-find little insect was said to live in places where good things were about to happen. This must be a sign! Maybe... Maybe things were going to get better after all! You look down at your clasped hands, the gigapede trapped in your clutches, its myriad of tiny, segmented lags scratching to get free. You think you'l call him Giga. >Gorrma: Make gigapede a hat and tiny sunglasses; declare him your sidekick and go on a magical adventure together. Oh man, that would be so cool. Gorrma and Giga, riding off into the sunset to do battle with foes and explore new worlds. You're gonna-- CRUNCH! Mmmmmmm. Tastes like good fortune and exoskeleton! You slurp down the rest of ex-Giga like a peice of spaghetti and wipe your hands on your apron. Hey, maybe Giga had a nest somewhere down here! You bet gigapede larva would taste excellent baked into a fritter! This was a sign. Things were going to get better. In the sky, a large glowing chunk of rock began its fateful descent.
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Yoo Hoo! Last edited by mauve; 03-01-2011 at 10:28 PM. |
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03-02-2011, 02:06 PM
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#46 |
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Magikoopa
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 1,789
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==>
You are now, against all reasoning, Tergum in the distant past of... well, fifty-five minutes before he enters the medium. You have just discovered (and accidentally captchalogued) the corpse of your Lusus, and have managed to put aside that loss for the sake of your friends. >DP...W55MBHETM Tergum: Check Trollian.  Jegus Christopher on a ONE-WHEELED DEVICE, the notifications! The memo you started is practically exploding, there is somehow another Team Rocket memo, the Fortress memo has a veritable shitton of replies, and you're being trolled by... antipathicHopper? What? Tergum: Sort that shit out. You decide it's safe to assume you can close the Team Fortress memo; you've already put your two cents in, and you doubt there's anything worth reading. The first Rocket memo, on the other hand, requires a little more of your time, and a lot more of your patience. You suppose you should compose yourself, and answer. Code:
Future antipathicHopper [FAH] reconnected FAH: []kay. I'^^ starting t[] think this wh[]|_e "dying |_usus" thing ^^ight be part []f the ga^^e. FAH: Strize fe|_|_ d[]wn the stairs and i^^pa|_ed hi^^se|_f []n his []wn b|_ade. FAH: I kn[]w f[]r a fa[t that he w[]u|_dn't n[]r^^a|_|_y d[] s[]^^ething |_ike that. FAH: It's why ^^y hive is fu|_|_ []f e|_evat[]rs. FAH: I warned hi^^ ab[]ut stairs. FAH: I t[]|_d hi^^. FAH: S[], basi[a|_|_y, what I'^^ saying is that every[]ne needs t[] be prepared. FAH: N[]t ru|_ing []ut [[]in[iden[e just yet, but this see^^s a |_itt|_e... FAH: [[]ntrived, I guess? FAH: S[] yeah. Fair warning. FAH: []n a ^^u[h ^^[]re depressing n[]te: FAH: I've app[]inted Ba|_|_aa ^^y se[[]nd in [[]^^and. FAH: Be[ause fu[k the rest []f y[]u, that's why. CTA: yOU'rE jUst pArAnOId, twO cAsEs Of lUsUs mOrtAlItY dOn't mEAn thIs gAmE Is A sUpErnAtUrAl sErIAl kIllEr CTA: EspEcIAlly sIncE thEy dIEd In wAYs thOUsAnds Of lUsII dIE FUTURE burlesque Balderdash [FBB] (180:00 hours from now) responded to the memo FBB: O>o dont mind me STOP FBB: O>o im just bookmarking this particular section of the memo for future reference STOP FBB: O>o ie: to show future derpah how full of shit he is STOP FBB: O>o byebye now STOP FUTURE burlesqueBalderdash has ceased responding FAH: Derpah, y[]u'|_|_ [hange y[]ur tune []n[e Herpey dies. FAH: And []f fu[king [[]urse it's a supernatura|_ seria|_ ki|_|_er! FAH: Did y[]u f[]rget ab[]ut the rest []f the p|_anet, nu^^bg|_[]bes? CTA: I'm lEAvIng thE tImE thAt wE stArt In yOUr hAnds (Or cAOwAy, whOEvEr gOEs fIrst) CTA: yOU'rE frEE tO stArt An EvAcUAtIOn Of thE plAnEt If yOU rEAllY thInk EvErYOnE wIll bElIEvE A vIdEO gAmE wIll dEstrOy AltErnIA FUTURE melancholicChumly [FMC] 134:00 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo FMC: Evacuation won't /)o any G\oo/). FMC: The apocolypS\e iS\n't G\oinG\ to happen faS\t enouG\h. FAH: We|_|_. FAH: That wasn't []^^in[]us at a|_|_. FMC: S\orry, that'S\ turninG\ into a ba/) habit. FAH: It's fine, I guess. FAH: S[], sin[e y[]u're here (and further than I a^^), whi[h []ne []f us is g[]ing first? FMC: If I remember correctly, I S\houl/) be enterinG\ in about 10 minuteS\ from PaS\t /)erpah'S\ perS\pective. FAH: What. FAH: WHAT? FMC: Yeah, biG\ miS\take. I know that now. FAH: I. FAH: Gah. FAH: Y[]u stupid s[]nnuva.... FAH: SHIT. FAH: Ha|_f []f ^^y tea^^ hasn't even g[]tten ba[k t[] ^^e yet! FMC: S\orry, like I S\ai/): FMC: BiG\ miS\take. FMC: Everyone'S\ G\oinG\ to G\et in thouG\h, S\o you S\houl/)n't worry too much. FMC: BeS\i/)eS\, I'm not here to talk to you. FMC: /)erpah, you S\houl/) really G\o over that G\ame co/)e aG\ain. FMC: Not riG\ht now thouG\h. You're about to have company. FMC: S\ee the meS\S\aG\e I alrea/)y left you for more on that. FMC: S\pecifically, the warninG\ at the bottom. FAH: Caoway. Just so you know. FAH: The next time I see you, I'm punching you. FAH: In the face. FMC: That'S\ nice. FMC: Well, I'm /)one playinG\ thiS\ G\ame of temporal G\rab-nook. FMC: For now at leaS\t. FMC: Reztek S\houl/) really be the one /)oinG\ thiS\ S\hit. FUTURE melancholicChumly [FMC] ceased responding to memo. FAH: Why sh[]u|_d Rez... FAH: Whatever, I'|_|_ take his w[]rd f[]r it. FAH: Future Reztek, DE^^ERIT. FAH: When y[]u read this, g[]... |_[][k y[]urse|_f in a r[][]^^ with Derpah f[]r an h[]ur. CTA: wAIt, dOn't lOck mE In A rOOm wIth rEztEk CTA: And whAt dId cAOwAy mEAn bY "cOmpAnY"? FAH: Fu[k y[]u, A|_durin, I'^^ sure it's at |_EAST 5[]% y[]ur fau|_t. FSH: but guys come on we have to save alternia i mean its our planet why wont you do it ok ok fine be that way FUTURE spectacularHellion has begun holding his breath. currentpandorasArchivist [CPA] has responded to memo CPA: What. CPA: Are you diong? FUTURE spectacularHellion passed out. CPA: Thank sweet troll jegus. CPA: Now... CPA: Soemdoby, explian. CPA: What in the name of the the grothermub is giong on? FAH: We|_|_, if I had t[] hazard a guess... FAH: I'd say that Zebrek wi|_|_ h[]|_d his breath unti|_ he passes []ut at s[]^^e p[]int in the future. CTA: jUst hOw lOng hAvE yOU bEEn lOst In yOUr Own hIvE? CTA: I wAs gOnnA lEt yOU lEAd thIs hAlf Of thE gIg bUt yOU nEvEr AnswErEd CTA: sO nOw I'll lEt tErgUm mAkE thE pItch On whY yOU shOUld cOnsIdEr thIs tO bE ImpOrtAnt FAH: Be[ause I fu[king said s[]. Future omnipotentOmnivore [FOO] responded to memo. FOO: hey! you guysh didn't tell me we were going to jump into team rocket'sh FOO: shecret memo. ]:-( FOO: unlessh caoway and zeb'sh intrushionsh haven't happened yet from my FOO: pershpective...? FOO: ugh. thish time travelly shtuff is hard to get ushed to. CPA: None of you are doing athyning to concinve me that I will be in soethming even appromixating "good company" once I join the ranks of sivurvors. CTA: bUt thE pOInt Is yOU'll bE A sUrvIvOr CTA: cOmE On, It cAn't bE thAt bAd . . . CTA: EssEntIAllY thIs Is A gAmE Of sOmE bIzArrE nAtUrE CTA: OnE Of thE fEw thIngs wE knOw AbOUt It Is thAt It wIll dEstrOy thE wOrld CTA: bUt thOse whO plAy sUrvIvE sOmEhOw CTA: mY prOfEssIOnAl gUEss Is thAt thIs Is A rEAlIstIc pOst-ApOcAlYptIc RPG CTA: bUt I'm nOt tOtAllY sUrE CPA: I quetsoin the your ability to possess a prefossional anyhting. CPA: But regraldess... CPA: We will see, I am sure. CPA: And I thank Jegus that I am not in chrage. CTA: Is thAt whY yOU nEvEr AnswErEd mE? CTA: I wAs gOnnA lEt yOU hAvE dIbs On lEAdErshIp, bUt nOOO yOU hAd tO prEtEnd yOU wErEn't thErE CPA: I wasn't, and why wuold I want to? CPA: Oh noooo i don't get to babysit the freak show, WHAT WILL I DOOOO absentPsychologist [AP] responded to the memo. AP: It isn't. An offical...thing. Gorrma. But, everybody...is doing it. So, we just do. AP: And yeah...I hate it. I think, that is why. You haven't. Seen any other time, me's around. AP: Anyway, Caoway is about. To die. One sec. absentPsychologist [AP] ceased responding to the memo. FAH: Huh. We|_|_, that's n[]t g[][]d. FAH: A|_s[], fu[k every[]ne wh[]'s n[]t part []f TEA^^ R[][KET. FAH: Y[]u're a|_|_ 'tarding up this ^^e^^[]. FAH: And frank|_y, Derpah's d[]ing a g[][]d en[]ugh j[]b []f that a|_ready. FAH: S[] whi|_e I'^^ sure he'd appre[iate the he|_p, I'^^ afraid I have t[] ask y[]u t[] piss []ff. CPA: That is liratelly the first itnegillent thing that has been said in this memo. CPA: I will get back to all of you on this. Right now, there are some... CPA: Pesronal matters to take care of. FAH: Fantasti[. FAH: N[]w I just need t[] hear ba[k fr[]^^ HE... -FUTURE antipathicHopper (41 hours from now) responded to memo- FAH: Wait, what? FAH2: What d[] y[]u think, bu|_ge-st[]mper? FAH2: It's y[]u. Fr[]m the future. FAH2: Here t[] impart s[]me g[]ddamn kn[]w|_edge. FAH2: Y[]u [an thank me |_ater. FAH2: Y[]u're very we|_[[]me, Tergum, it was a p|_easure as a|_ways. FAH: The fu[k? FAH2: Anyway, p|_easantries []ut []f the way, time f[]r future kn[]w|_edge. FAH2: First: st[]p being su[h an utter t[][]|_ t[] every[]ne/ FAH2: Se[[]nd: y[]u aren't near|_y as funny as y[]u think y[]u are/ FAH2: Third: F[]r fu[k's sake, dr[]p the "^^" thing. FAH: But... I |_ike the "^^" thing. FAH2: N[] y[]u d[]n't. Y[]u've hated it, but y[]u kept it be[ause y[]u're a dumbshit. -FUTURE antipathicHopper (63 hours from now) responded to memo- FAH3: []h Jegus's taint, w[]u|_d y[]u tw[] shut up? FAH3: I'^^ e^^barrassed t[] even be y[]u. FAH: See? He d[]es the "^^" thing! FAH3: Shut. The Fu[k. Up. -Future antipathicHopper [FAH3] banned FUTURE antipathicHopper [FAH] from responding to memo- FAH2: W[]w. That was even m[]re stupid the se[[]nd time around. FAH3: D[] y[]u have any idea h[]w ^^uch shit I g[]t fr[]^^ the ^^ini[]ns be[ause []f y[]u? FAH3: S[]. Fu[king. H[]rrible. FAH2: []h. Shit. Them. -Future antipathicHopper [FAH2] ceased responding to memo- CPA: Oh sweet troll jegus. CPA: Why in the name of all that is liraletty CPA: would you find it neseccary to fill this cosnervation with... CPA: that? FAH3: Y[]u'll understand when y[]u're []lder. FUTURE pandorasArchivist [FPA] (103 hours from now) has responded to memo FPA: Oh, yuo lwil udstrendadn. FPA: Fro brette. FPA: Or for rwose. FPA: Bieveile yuo meeee... FAH3: See? Listen t[] that ja[kass. FAH3: Hey, ja[kass, questi[]n. FAH3: Is the tea^^ terrified []f ^^y brutal reign yet? FPA: Oh daer. FPA: Butlarity... and... froce? FPA: Theos aer not the maesn to yrou edn... FAH3: []^^in[]us. But ^^[]st likely, bullshit. FAH3: I'^^ just g[]nna assu^^e y[]u've all a[[epted R[][KET [REED NUMBER []NE: FAH3: All ^^ini[]ns ^^ust gr[]vel in the presen[e []f their GL[]RI[]US LEADER. FAH3: ALL []f the ^^ini[]ns. All []f the^^. FUTURE eloquentOrchestrator [FEO] (??? hours from now) has responded to memo FEO: Ok i'm The tIme tRoll Here And eVen i ThinK thiS futUre/pAst sElf mEmo gRubfUckeRy is RetArdeD. FEO: I've bEen pUlliNg stAble Time LoopS out Of my Ass fOr daYs anD theSe meMos aRe a dIsgrAce tO eveRythIng i Do FEO: I alrEady Know You dOn't sTop, bUt i hAve tO at lEast Try tO keeP the IdioCy to A minImum FEO: It wiLl heLp keEp thE skuLl heMmorRhagIng aT a reCord Low FUTURE antipathicHopper [FAH4] (??? hours from now) has responded to memo. FAH4: THE MEM[]S FAH4: WI|_|_ FAH4:NEVER ST[]p. FAH4: THE MEM[]S WI|_|_ NEVER ST[]P. CPA: Oh not athoner one. FEO: See tHis iS whaT i'm tAlkiNg abOut FEO: This InanE bulLshiT FAH4: Hey, I a[tua|_|_y []n|_y [ame ba[k t[] te|_|_ past me t[] st[]p with this shit. FAH4: But I guess he d[]esn't be[ause I sti|_|_ did it... FAH4: I think if y[]u were better at y[]ur job, a|_|_ []f this [[]u|_d be averted. FAH4: Way t[] fu[king g[], Rezzy. FEO: This Is whY im tHe tiMe trOll aNd yoUre tHe prInce Of stUpid BullShit FEO: I knoW thaT parAdox SpacE is jUst hAvinG a blAst mAkinG us iTs biTcheS witH theSe bulLshiT non-LineAr evEnts Of unAvoiDablE idiOcy FEO: And tRust Me, ivE triEd chAngiNg thIngs FEO: It diD not End wEll FEO: That Is alL anyOne nEeds To knOw anD wilL eveR knoW aboUt thAt FUTURE antipathicHopper [FAH5] (???+1 hours from now) has responded to memo. FAH5: |_[]ng st[]ry sh[]rt, t[][] mu[h time|_ine fu[kery equa|_s dead Rezteks. FAH5: Y[]u're we|_[[]me. FUTURE eloquentOrchestrator [FEO2] (??? hours from now) responded to memo FEO2: Ok i dOnt kNow hOw muCh tiMe i hAve lEft sO ill Make This QuicK FEO2: TergUm i tHougHt yoU wouLd liKe to Know TherE is a Cozy TimeLine Out tHere WherE you SuffEr thE mosT dooMed eXistEnce FEO2: MoreSo thAn evEryoNe elSe in That TimeLine FEO2: It is RathEr deGradIng aCtuaLly aNd i tOok sOme pIctuRes fOr yoU FUTURE eloquentOrchestrator sent antipathicHopper DoomEdfoReveR.trar FEO2: EnjoY FUTURE eloquentOrchestrator's [FEO2] computer exploded FAH5: These are... FAH5: A[tua|_|_y pretty g[]ddamn ad[]rab|_e. FAH5: I especia|_|_y |_ike the way the b|_[][]d makes a giant winged butter beast. FAH5: And I'm impressed he's sti|_|_ a|_ive without skin. FAH5: []r arms. CPA: Do I watn to see? FAH5: Probab|_y n[]t f[]r a few days fr[]^^ y[]ur perspe[tive. FAH5: Y[]u aren't mad en[]ugh at me yet. FPA: He si cecorrt. Fro ocne. Yuo do tno. FAH5: We|_|_! N[]w that's sett|_ed, I'm [|_[]sing this mem[], and starting an[]ther []ne. FAH5: Preferably WITH[]UT all the stupid timefu[kery and Team F[]rtress bu|_|_shit. FAH4: Even th[]ugh ha|_f []f that is []ur fau|_t? FAH5: Especially be[ause ha|_f []f that is []ur fau|_t.[/COLOR] FUTURE antipathicHopper closed memo: Prepare f[]r tr[]ub|_e! > You are now Tergum in an indeterminate amount of time in the future. Like many things in the future, you use the color red, because you are a dumbass and you think it will make you go faster. You have just finished brutally closing an innocent (if stupid) memo. What will you do? >Future Tergum: Start a motherfucking new one. Code:
FUTURE antipathicHopper (???+1 hours from now) started memo: And Make it Doub|_e! FAH: []kay, take tw[]. FUTURE antipathicHopper mass-banned Team Fortress from responding to memo. FAH: Eh, never mind. That's |_ess fun. FUTURE antipathicHopper unbanned Team Fortress from responding to memo. FAH: A[tua|_|_y... FUTURE antipathicHopper banned spectacularHellion from responding to memo. FAH: And then everything was g[][]d f[]rever. FAH: []kay, I'^^ ab[]ut t[] pass this []ver t[] past me. FAH: []ther than that, n[] ti^^efu[kery. FAH: It just ^^akes Reztek's j[]b harder. FUTURE antipathicHopper made CURRENT antipathicHopper admin of the memo. FAH: Try n[]t t[] fu[k this []ne up s[] ^^u[h kidd[]. FUTURE antipathicHopper stopped responding to memo. But before that happens, Future Tergum in the Past has to take over the memo. >Past-Future Tergum: Do so. Code:
CURRENT technopathicalAnomaly [TA] responded to memo CTA: plEAsE fOcUs On thE prEsEnt gUys InstEAd Of ArgUIng wIth fUtUrE sElvEs CTA: EspEcIAllY sIncE It's UncOnfIrmEd AbOUt whEthEr Or nOt thErE Is A tImE-lImIt fOr sUrvIvIng thE ImpEndIng dOOm CTA: And I'd lIkE tO hAvE At lEAst OnE mEmO thAt I cAn UsE tO mOnItOr prOgrEss CTA: thIs wAy I mIght bE AblE tO AntIcIpAtE chAllEngEs currentpandorasArchivist [CPA] has responded to memo CPA: Yuo thikn this gaem is... CPA: Stitac? Precitdable? CPA: Yuo hostenly thikn you can atcipinate it? CTA: nOt At thIs pOInt, thE cOdE Is ImpOssIblE tO fUllY AnAlYzE CTA: bUt cErtAIn strIngs sEEm fAmIlIAr, I'll nEEd mOrE rEfErEncE On hOw thE gAmE wOrks bEfOrE I EvEn gUEss whAt thOsE dO CURRENT antipathicHopper [CAH] has responded to memo CAH: S[], y[]u pretty ^^u[h ^^ade this ga^^e p|_ayab|_e, and y[]u d[]n't kn[]w what it d[]es? CAH: D[]es that strike any[]ne e|_se as stupid? CTA: I cAn sEnd yOU thE OrIgInAl fIlE sO yOU cAn sEE If yOU cAn dEtErmInE mOrE CTA: thE cOnvErsIOn wAs bAsed On rEcOgnIzIng prOpEr sEctIOns Of cOdIng, whAt thEy dO cAn't bE fIgUrEd OUt bEcAUse thErE Is nO rEAl rEfErEncE fOr thIs CTA: And hErpEy hElpEd On sOmE pArts bUt I cOUldn't gEt hIm tO sAy whAt thE fUnctIOn Of EvErYthIng wAs CAH: Fair en[]ugh. FUTURE spectacularHellion [FSH2] 4:58 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo FSH2: oh gog just shut the fuck up tergum no one cares about your stupid fucking angry thing you do like its cool or something its just stupid FSH2: just crawl into a fucking hole and die so that we dont have to put up with your stupid bullshit anymore you worthless pathetic grubsniffer FSH2: gog just shut up shut up shut up shut up shut upshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutup shutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutup FUTURE spectacularHellion ceased responding to memo. CTA: I sEE thAt yOU'll bE mAkIng frIEnds tErgUm CTA: I'd prEfEr lEss bOtchEd dIplOmAcY And mOrE cOOpErAtIOn bUt yOU'rE thE bOss CTA: wEll, OnE Of thEm . . . CAH: U^^. That was entire|_y un[hara[teristi[ []f hi^^. [8o CURRENT melancholicChumly [CMC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo- CMC: I'/) S\ay it'S\ entirely characteriS\tic of wriG\G\ler who /juS\t ha/) to take hiS\ luS\uS\ out back behin/) the lawnrinG\ maintenence tool S\toraG\e block an/) put it out of it'S\ miS\ery. CMC: Which iS\ kin/) of why I'm here. CMC: I /juS\t S\tarte/) a new memo, one that both teamS\ nee/) to rea/). CMC: I'll S\en/) you all the link riG\ht now. CURRENT melancholicChumly [CMC] ceased responding to memo- CAH: We|_|_. I'^^ entire|_y fu[king tired []f a|_|_ these ^^e^^[]s. CAH: [|_[]sing this []ne, |_et's a|_|_ just h[]p []ver t[] ^^['s new []ne. -CURRENT antipathicHopper closed memo: And ^^ake it d[]ub|_e! >Past-Future Tergum: Answer... yourself? Code:
antipathicHopper [AH] began trolling antipathicHopper [AH] AH: He|_|_[], Tergu^^. AH: Y[]u're ^^e fr[]^^ the future, right? AH: What the he|_|_ d[] y[]u want? AH: S[]rt []f busy trying t[] find ti^^ t[] ^^[]urn Strize. AH: ... AH: [[]^^e []n, [an this wait? Which one will you chose? =/=> or ==> ? Last edited by Token; 03-02-2011 at 02:31 PM. |
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03-02-2011, 02:20 PM
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#47 |
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Magikoopa
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 1,789
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=/=>
You are now Future Tergum, and you're about to make the MOST STUPID DECISION OF YOUR LIFE. Code:
AH: N[]. AH: This is... AH: Vita|_. AH: [:) AH: Fine. What d[] y[]u want? AH: The B[][]k. AH: Y[]u kn[]w the []ne. Take it []ff the desk. AH: N[]W. AH: Why? AH: Trust ^^e, fu[knuts, I'^^ fr[]^^ the future is why. You are now Tergum, and you can't argue with logic like that. =/=> You remove Trollight from your desk. =/=> Your kernelsprite is only prototyped once before entry, saving you a lot of hassle and agitation when you enter the Medium. =/=> And then, because you didn't do what you were supposed to, after many, many, many hours of trials, gaming, and becoming a better person.. =/=> You die. =/=> You are now Future Tergum, and you have just killed yourself, and all of your friends. As you begin to dissolve due to Paradox Space's bullshit, one thought goes through your mind. "Fu[k y[]u, Future Tergu^^." >Return to Page 153.. Last edited by Token; 03-02-2011 at 02:32 PM. |
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03-02-2011, 02:30 PM
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#48 |
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Magikoopa
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 1,789
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==>
You are now Future Tergum, and you are pretty sure you shouldn't trust Future Tergum. You sigh, ignore his incessant trolling, and respond to your past self. Code:
AH: ... AH: Yeah. I guess it [an. AH: I just want t[] say... AH: We|_|_, he'd have been pr[]ud []f y[]u. AH: Things are g[]nna get shitty rea|_|_ s[][]n, but []ur du^^bass friends need y[]u. AH: What the he|_|_? AH: Just... when y[]u get s[]^^e free ti^^e, y[]u need t[] write. AH: You'|_|_ kn[]w what t[] write when it c[]^^es, but just... try t[] have fun. antipathicHopper [AH] stopped trolling antipathicHopper [AH] AH: What the fu[k? You do so, with a smile on your face, and one thought goes through your mind. "Fu[k y[]u, Future Tergu^^." ==> |
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03-03-2011, 08:54 PM
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#49 | |
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An eagle with the head of a turtle-
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: and the body of a turtle.
Posts: 1,371
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==>
You are the Intractable Drifter and you are searching for someone deserving of your brutal poetry. > ID: Type => Switch 2 Done. The second monitor flickers on and displays the salty troll youth you dubbed as “sage” earlier. He is currently strangling an imp using a pole-and-line. > hey sea cucumber > im back > ready to face the rapocalypse sage > im about to rain down some lethally dope rhymes The young troll seems to be too engrossed in his struggle to pay you any mind. > hey im talking to you sage > stop brushing me off and respond The young man who would be Sage appears to be facing a dilemma. The imp wears the face of his guardian. He is hesitant in finishing it off. > what is this > that underling isnt your stupid ghost-dad-beast > why don't you just get over it > seriously can't believe this shit > youve already fought that face a thousand times before > just do what what you always do hardcore The fishertroll abides. He tears the imp's head off and it's body converts into building materials. The troll looks at the mess of grist quizzically. > oh wow brutal i mean the way you fought > well you gonna pick up those spoils or not There is much scrambling about and the grist and calcium are collected. Grist: +20 Calcium: +15 The sprat also picks up a new strife specibus card, Pistolkind. He doesn't seem too enthused about this new addition to his strife portfolio. Maybe he doesn't like guns? > i wonder if offing that punkass chump > was enough to give your punkass rank a bump > oh that was awful > pretend i never said any of that This victory gives the Troll a few thin chin whiskers and allows him to climb up his echeladder. He ascends from the lowly "Greenpike" and bypasses the second acheivement rung of “Easily Out-Dreadlocksed By Zooplankton Buckeroo” altogether, landing him on the slightly more respectable “Shrimp Sheller” rung. His cache limit is expanded to 50 and his gel viscosity increases to 20. He receives 96 boondollars, which is immediately placed in his taxidermied porkhollow. > hey who are these douchebags New enemies approach. It appears the imp had friends. Friends who are none too happy to find the troll boy gathering up the remains of their comrade. They loudly and clumsily charge at the imp killer. > way to ambush > stooges > why even bother sending imps > those idiots deserve to be straightup broadside smackdowned into a bunch of grist Caoway's line is cast and hooks the imp in front, the one with the bug eyes. The mutant malefactor is then swung straight up, smashing his broadside right through the ceiling. The fishertroll follows up reeling it back in and smacking the imp down into the ground so hard that it explodes into grist. The other imps seem to be shocked by this unsettling display of aggression and stop in their tracks. How could their attack fail? They're an ambitious young squad with everything to prove! Their world view has just been shattered like a cheap taco shell that has had too much shredded lettuce stuffed into it. > hey sage theyre eying that gun Indeed, the enemies have noticed the endgame weapon lying on the floor. If they could just sort of... reach over there and... Aw, they're too slow. Just before the imp can grab the wave motion blunderbuss, it's snatched up by the fishertroll's line and reeled in. > pretty fancy rod fu there capn chump > why dont you take it outside > and pay a visit to the stump Caoway has no idea what you're talking about and is trying to block you out. He points the newly acquired weapon at the imps, scoffs, and decides to catphalogue it instead. The notion of simply blasting his foes into oblivion doesn't seem to be an appealing concept to him. > wuss > wuss wuss wuss > wuss wuss wuss wuss wuss wuss wuss wuss wuss wuss wuss wuss wuss He stores it in the regular sylladex rather than the strife deck and the tidal modus washes out the concertina to make room. The free reed is launched up into the air and whirls around in spectacular display of ragdoll physics. The imps watch in awe as it arcs across the room and lands squarely in the spade-head's face, letting out a funny crash note as the imp drops to the ground. A portion of spade-head's health vial dries up. > so very fucking outrageous > go end it already sage-ous He rushes forward. The third one is caught off guard and makes a frighten swipe that barely scratches the hardy troll. The dip in his health vial is barely noticeable and the imp's attack makes an opening for him to aggrieve! Caoway switches to oarkind and delivers a smack that sends antenna-head flying through the wall. Still on the floor, spade-head starts to come to his senses and removes the concertina from his face. Just in time to get a good look at the sole of an old weathered galosh. Caoway stomps down with all the might of his mangrit. He now stands in another puddle calcium and grist, his left golash covered in white powder. > yes thats right sage > just stand there and look badass you > even though crying seems to be all that you do > oh I have to kill that groucho cat face > wah wah wah know your fucking place > wuss The heckling seems to finally be getting to Caoway and he starts swearing at you. Unbeknownst to him, one is sneaking up on him. The antenna'd imp he sent through the wall survived, although only barely. It has only the smallest amount of gel left in its vial, but appears to have learned from its mistakes. While supposed sage continues to curse thin air, it slowly makes its way behind him. > here it comes The imp makes its move. It leaps forward and catches Caoway's neck in its scythes. The would be sage is caught and he knows it. The imp's victory is imminent, all it takes just a little twitch and... The imp sniffs one of Caoway's dreadlocks and swoons a little. > what Okay, the imp is almost certain that that is not what it wanted to do. Now to fin- Its scythes are blasted off by a greenish beam that looked like it was full of cigars and herring. The imp staggers backward and is then pounced on by glowing blur of green fur and sabreteeth. Grist everywhere. > so very useless It would appear the imp executioner is a ghost-cat thing wearing a rather hilarious disguise. The fishertroll glowers at his greenish saviour. Show chatlog > sage you better not hug him The fledgling sage runs over to his sprite and hugs him tightly. The sprite returns the embrace. > bluh > hate you so damn much They part and the troll youth wipes a small tear from his eye. Show chatlog. [S]========> Show chatlog. > Be someone considerably less doomed.
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Some quote: Quote:
Last edited by Intern Nin; 03-04-2011 at 01:47 AM. Reason: forgot the music derp/ typing quirk |
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03-03-2011, 10:52 PM
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#50 |
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We'll have to do this the hard way.
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Behind it all.
Posts: 1,009
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>Be someone less traumatized.
That command was already filled several week ago numbglobes! You ought to pay more attention, before deciding to grace the world your infinitely vast ignorance. Try something else. > Spam backspace. Fine, bee that way. Asshole. You ascend the command prompt until you find your desired action. ">Be someone less traumatized.|" You are now less traumatized. THAT IS LES TRAUMATISÉ, YOU UNCULTURED SWINE. Remember that name, so when they ask what brigade of dashing and terrifying outlaws took down your miserable excuse for a lateral locoshuttle, you will.. ehhh... TELL THEM!! >what is this i don't even  You are Casaro B'omine, leader of the disreputable gang of Alternian thieves, LES TRAUMATISÉ. Your camaraderie specializes in lateral loco shuttle robberies, and you have become a notorious folk hero for your grand feats of crime and famous chivalry towards females. Most of that, however, is a load of romanticized bullshit made by the tabloid news common to this day and age. In reality, you're sort of a DICK. In this particular heist, you have stolen a little girl's locket, punched the conductor for looking at you, and pistol-whipped a very unlucky crippled troll. But it was all worth it. You leave your men to watch the passengers and make your way to the back of the locoshuttle, where the supplies are being transported. While you're more oft to take the possessions of the passengers, this particular cargo is what drove to strike in the first place. For here is the treasure you have spent your life searching for. The Hearth of Hestia. Once you bring this baby to the Alternian Black Market for Extremely Rare and Coveted Cookware, there will be no more dinners of elbow pasta and powdered cultures for you! Even though they taste so good. You briefly ponder if there's some sort of variant or luxury brand you could buy as the butt of a rifle cracks across the back of your skull. > Notice that your kismesis has outwitted you. Huh. That she has. > Monologue. Casaro cannot perform that action as he is UNCONSCIOUS. He probably won't respond to anything else either, so why don't we move on? > Be someone doing something awesome. You are now Vintag, many sweeps in the future. From the previous perspective, that is. So, it's the present. And presently, you are in your laundry block, prepared to remove the stain caused by your asinine sylladex. > Could you make that a little less awesome, please? I don't think my cardiovascular system can take that sort of excitement. [S] Fine, you are *AGRESSING* the stain. With a purifying bottle of chemicals in each hand, you attack your hat with unbridled ferocity. Auto-Polish! and so forth. Then you PUT... THE HAT IN THE WASHER! > This is stupid. You remember that in addition to the meteors that will destroy your hive long before the spin cycle starts, you have 23 exact duplicates of this hat in your closet. You glare at the soiled hat for what you deem to be an appropriate amount of time, and then exit. You travel further into your hive, the flickering lights strewn across the hall do nothing to guide you, but you know the way without them. The electricity here was shoddy before there was a fire storm to reasonably explain it, but no technician was ever called to fix it. This is partly due to Derpah being the only mechanic you know and partly because you and Vicki don't actually own your hive. You just sort of... found it. So, gotta stay under the radar. Speaking of Vicki, He's making some racket out in the whatever block. Whatever, anything that goofball breaks you can just replace later. >Arrive in Respite Block Finally, you have found the one block in your hive that doesn't have a million comedic deathtraps strewn all over it. Just one. You forgot where you put it. Regardless, when you see the familiar smiles of your silver screen idols cast on the walls around, you enter an almost zen-like state. Many nights you've spent watching your collection on your prized projector. Sometimes you just stare at your posters for a while. You do this all the time actually. You don't have a lot of friends to hang out with. Speaking of which, you invited one of your friends from online to come watch a performance. Better get that straightened out while you still have the chance. -burlesqueBalderdash [BB] began trolling absentPsychologist [AP]- BB: O>o hey leraje just a heads up the gig at the culled martini has been canceled STOP BB: O>o also it seems i have been inducted in some kind of doomsday game STOP AP: Oh. Vintag. Hey, uh. Oh man, that is terrible. I was looking forward...wait. What game? BB: O>o ugh its like... something really stupid sounding STOP BB: O>o ssssscrabble i think STOP AP: ...did Tergum message you, about it? BB: O>o yeah howd you know STOP AP: AUGH! I knew I should, have had. Grr... AP: Umm, okay we. Are playing. The same, game. But...bad luck. We aren't. On the same side. BB: O>o ...there are sides STOP AP: I...knew Tergum, wasn't going. To be, all that great. Of a leader. But this is just.... AP: I mean. Man I should have just faced up and invited you. BB: O>o that is a shame STOP BB: O>o so do i have to kill you now or something STOP BB: O>o i dont think that would be that enjoyable STOP AP: I..actually I have. No idea. There. Seems to be. A goal. AP: Most of it, simple. But what overaching whole it leads to, and why we, are in seperate teams. I have no idea. BB: O>o what now STOP AP: Well...try to. Get a hold. Of Tergum, he needs to stop. Being terrible. And lead you people. Also, we are all. Supposed to have. Server players(who help us) and clients(who we help) and. It is probably. Important. You figure out, who those. People are. AP: Or you might die. And I'd be...really sad. BB: O>o i would be too STOP BB: O>o shit better find that out then STOP AP: Yeah...um. You know, even though, we are on opposite sides. You can always message me. I'd hate to lose touch. You are really amazing...and all that. BB: O>o i... uh STOP BB: O>o ill keep that in mind STOP absentPsychologist's computer exploded BB: O>o O.o STOP - burlesqueBalderdash ceased trolling absentPsychologist - Okay what the hell? >Look, a message! - eloquentOrchestrator [EO] began trolling burlesqueBalderdash [BB] - EO: Hey vIntaG, terGum tOld mE you WoulD be aCtinG as mY serVer pLayeR wheN we sTart PlayIng sGrub EO: PleaSe teLl me That DidnT souNd liKe toTal nOnseNce tO you And tHat yOu knOw abOut tHe gaMe BB: O>o oh STOP BB: O>o yes STOP BB: O>o i know everything about about slub STOP BB: O>o i mean sgrub STOP BB: O>o what do you need to know.. STOP BB: O>o the gameplay? STOP EO: What? No i jUst wAnteD to mAke sUre i DidnT neeD to eXplaIn anYthiNg EO: I reaD derPahs UselEss gUide And i Had a... Umm... oTher SourCe of InfoRmatIon EO: TalkIng aBout The dEtaiLs reMindS me oF thiS... uhh... OtheR souRce wHich Is raTher DiscOnceRtinG BB: O>o umm right STOP BB: O>o what exactly is diconcerting about it STOP BB: O>o were the details of the game... STOP BB: O>o ...gruesome STOP EO: Well The gAme iS kinD of rEspoNsibLe foR the DeatHs of All oUr luSii EO: But mOstlY its That I leaRned AbouT the Game From MyseLf... EO: MyseLf frOm thE futUre... EO: Who iM preTty sUre iS deaD now BB: what BB: i mean BB: O>o your lusus is dead STOP BB: O>o thats awful STOP EO: Mine Isnt The oNly oNe EO: So faR eveRyonE invOlveD in tHe gaMe haS had TheiR lusUs peRish EO: Wait Do yoU meaN youR lusUs is StilL aliVe? EO: I thoUght They Were All dEad bY now BB: O>o no vickis fine i left him with my pan so that hell be safe STOP BB: O>o in the common block STOP BB: O>o by himself STOP BB: O>o in the dark STOP BB: O>o with my haunted pan STOP BB: O>o i need to go STOP EO: Oh fuCk EO: I hopE hes AlriGht bUt uhH... if iTs anY conSolaTion The gAme cAn alSo brIng oUr luSii bAck... sOrt oF >OHCRAPOHCRAPOHCRAP By the time Reztek had written those final two lines, you had already disappeared through the door. You make a mad dash to the common block, stumbling over an assortment of wacky things in the veil of darkness and hazard that has become of your hallway. The clanging has stopped. Despite your best efforts, a thought bubbles to the surface of the dread gravy stewing in your think pan. Is that good? Or bad? You don't slow down. Nothing could break your stride at this point. But a loose bag of marbles does make you lose your footing, so you end up cartwheeling through the last leg of the-*CRASH*. >WHY DOES EVERYTHING YOU DO HAVE TO BE A SHINING EXAMPLE OF INBRED IDIOCY? You are now in your common block. The lights are out here as well, and you can barely see anything. However, something--or someone--definitely left a sizable mess. What it is though? All this black... blackness. It's like a sea jaguarian ripped into the ink bladder of a Deep One, that then proceeded to roll around in it. All over. You creep towards the far wall, ready to flip the fuck out at any monster that dares decide to exist. You're so tense you almost don't notice Vicki sitting in a pool of his own blood in the corner. Wait.  lususlog >Do something. You are unable to move or think or do anything besides gawk at the broken figure of your guardian. >Gawk at broken figure of your guardian. NO! You need to help Vicki! He can get through this. He has to. >Get help. Only one troll is capable of helping you. You make a quick heel-turn and practically towards your husktop. You just hope he's not busy. -- burlesqueBalderdash [BB] began trolling hazardousPracticioner [HP] -- BB: O>o nasryl something terrible has happened STOP BB: O>o vicki is in need of medical assistance STOP BB: O>o give me instructions on how to STOP STOP BB: O>o uhhhh STOP BB: O>o death STOP HP: what HP: uhh well im nXt sX actually nevermind I can help HP: Tell me what the situation is and make it quick. I'll give what advice I can BB: there's a gaping wound in his head STOP BB: im gonna say its pretty serious STOP HP: Xh gXg this is heavy stuff HP: Apply pressure, stXp the bleeding HP: Keep sXmething wrapped arXund, dXn't mXve him tXX much BB: oh man oh man STOP BB: i cant find anything STOP BB: uhhhhhh STOP HP: Panic is bad. It can be anything, preferably clXth and clean HP: Apply pressure and stXp as much as pXssible BB: ok ok caaaaaalm STOP BB: ... STOP BB: is blood sometimes in spongy chunks STOP HP: HP: HP: NX BB: ... STOP BB: that is never going to wash out is it STOP BB: ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff HP: YXU there Vintag?!! HP: There's always hXpe! I think HP: Fffucck HP: Vierth needs help I gXtta gX I am sX sXrry fXr yXur lXss!!! -- hazardousPractitioner [HP] has ceased pestering burlesqueBalderdash [BB] -- You have fainted. >You silly girl, wake up. ... >This is no time for slumber. .... >Fine. Be that way. I don't need you. I can find some other troll to command.
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 You know who never sleeps? My gun. Last edited by The SSB Intern; 03-03-2011 at 10:55 PM. |
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Linear Mode
