NPF Avatars 5 - Another Version Of The Truth

[Wizardcat]

To phrase it politely, Wizzle was not in a good mood. He had good reasons to be. Arhra Two had just stolen all of his screentime for that segment (That scene-stealing hack!) as well as having the insult of being completely ignored by someone you were fighting. I mean, he didn't get that much screentime compared to the others, if you thought about it, so however much he did get was precious. Needless to say, Arhra Two was locked onto and multiple explosive tracking orbs were released in his/her/its direction.

In other news, the balloons had held twenty rings each and had instantly appeared in the Tiger-Zord's inventory upon popping, causing the Level 2 Special Attack indicator to light up. The cat mage decided to give one of the Reis a further bad day when he noticed Rei Classic had gone through a transformation. He stared. And then spoke into a speaker that was directed towards O'Sullivan.

"Overcompensating much?"

Turning back towards the mechanical monstrosity, Wizzle pressed the button, somehow activating a small battle-scene sequence showing the pressing of the button while the background was replaced with an odd coloring special effect with the voiceover, "Feline Fury!" The spikes that served as "hair" on the Zord opened up to launch twelve Chaos Emerald-strengthened missiles aimed directly for Rei's face. If they somehow, miraculously breached the shield, it was liable to hurt.

Then, there was the situation of the Zord Fusion. Firstly, there was no use of Polymerization which was confusing to the inhabitants of the tiger machine. There also seemed to be a discrepancy in the number of Megazords and parts they should have. There was also an elitist-shard-holders-movement. In either case, it was better for Wizzle to arrange his own Yu-Gi-Oh themed transformation. (Audience Member #1: Shit! More?!, Audience Member #2: Do you want us to get fired?!)

He instructed the machine's computer to create two more Plushies, the subjects of which were set to random. He then had the computer activate the card effect DNA Surgery after that task was complete, selecting the dragon type. The cat mage and the four plushies started becoming more draconic, with the appearance of wings, spikes, claws, fangs, and in some cases, scales. There was a bit of experimenting with the new dragon abilities, but it was not to last with the command Polymerization set in place shortly after. The five of them fused together and a new creature was left in its place...

Five-Headed Dragon, despite being somewhat catlike, now stood in the devastated Gaian landscape. A blue box with the number '5000' in it appeared. The five heads grinned evilly as they declared, "It's time to duel!"

[PyrosNine]

Pyros would have totally told IC off, it weren't for the fact that as previously mentioned, his speakers had been ripped out.

So the other forumites got to hear it.

"NEUSE MONKEY SPACKToo UP YOUR FRIGGIN SPORKMONKEY BUM!" Pyros wheezed, while bending a metal pipe with his bare hands and showing off his manly strength.

"What the [expletive] kind of curse was that, you [expletive removed = TBM OWNS A LEFT HANDED PAIR OF SCISSORS FOR THE BLIND!] rotter?"

"One that isn't bleeped out with insanity, because it is already insane! Hoo-HA!"

[Bailey]

Amalplush was confused. First, he was killed by TEN's final death. Then, he reappeared in front of Wizzle. Then he became fused with Wizzle. And now he was part of a five-headed thingymawhatsit.

"I demand cake!"

[mauve]

Ecurt's Zord suddenly lost control. It spun wildly as it flew past the forming MegaZord, flipping over and over as it changed direction midair.

PRESET ATTACK COMMAND. the monitor read. SWITCHING CONTROL TO AUTOMATIC PILOT.

"Wha?!" Ecurt sputtered as he struggled to maintain his position in the seat. Stupid faulty seatbelts. Probably made in China. "What preset attack command?! What autopilot??!"

The HatZord swerved back towards the MegaZord, before settling calmly down on the PyrosZord's head.

UNION WITH MEGAZORD COMPLETE. the computer responded. MANUAL CONTROL RESTORED.

The HatZord hadn't changed shape or size. It merely sat on Pyros' Zord's head at a jaunty angle.

"....well that's lame..."


----------

We'd better hurry up and join the MegaZord before we end up having to be something stupid, Eol advised.

"Good idea." Mauve pounded a fist down on the big red button labeled "DO NOT PUSH UNLESS NIKOSE DOES SOMETHING INVOLVING MEGAZORDS."

Eol glowed thoughtfully.

Did you ever even watch that show as a kid? he asked.

"What show?"

Whatever "megazords" come from. Power Rangers or something?

Mauve sighed.

"Eol sweetie, I watched My Little Pony Tales, Pound Puppies, and Rescue Rangers as a kid," she said. "The closest thing to Power Rangers I saw were the occasional Thunder Cats, a handful of Speed Racer episodes, and most of the episodes of Pirates of Dark Water. It took me a while of listening to the other NPFers talk about these things to even figure out which show 'Zord' came from. I was thinking an anime or something."

Wow that's.... that's just sad.

"Why do you think MY zord is human while everyone else's is an animal? I didn't know they had to be animals until like three days ago," Mauve said with a shrug.

I dunno, I think it's rather fitting for you.

Mauve's Zord, meanwhile, had already begun forming a part to join up with the strange MegaZord(s?). It looked like it might end up an arm or soemthing. A wing? Who knows.

I doubt Mauve even knew at that point.

[Arhra]

Sitting on herself's draconic back, Arhra One knew sweet, sweet victory as Rei Aphrodite was taken down by unholy combo power. Then Rei had been given their power and grown into a giant. Wait...

They'd just discovered there was more than one Rei, destroying the duplicates, there was a giant robot containing the soul of a mother and now there was a giant, glowing Rei...

Arhra gasped in shock. The end was near. People could be turning into blood any minute now. And once it was all over, there would be a lot of confused and angry people milling around.

"We have to stop Third Impact!"

Arhra jumped off Four's back, grumbling to herself about seemingly being the only person involved in the battle who wasn't piloting a giant robot or simply giant.

"Oh, if only I had some way of draining energy*." Arhra muttered ironically as she charged for Rei's giant, glowing energy foot.

She was going to bite Rei's kneecaps off. Metaphorically speaking of course.

*Last used to great effect against Rhiya and bees.

* * *

"So, did you have any ideas for a date? Because I was thinking, and I know it's totally cliche, but I was thinking of going for a spring wedding, because--Oh, huh? Energy transfer?" Zeus turned her attention momentarily away from her new fiance to fire off a green energy beam of her own to Classic before going back to her big girly freak out, "Sure, here ya go. Anyway, I guess we'll have to have the wedding in Canada because, you know, two girls and all, but I'm sure it'll still be great!"

"Let's do it right here, right now." Arhra Two said. "We can have a bigger, more formal celebration later. It'd be like having two weddings! And this is Gaia. I'm pretty sure they have no law at all. Let's find a priest! Ecurt counts as a priest, doesn't he?"

Wizzle chose to ruin the moment, shooting several tracking, exploding orbs at Arhra. She whirled into action, shimmering chaos-wings flashing into being and slashing forwards in a single wingbeat. The feather tips of the shapechanging appendages shot out like lances, dagger points stabbing into the orbs and exploding them.

"Oooo, you're going to regret that." Arhra said, suddenly hefting a scarf like a weapon that could level cities and eyeing the draconic Wizzle balefully. "I need some new shoes."

"DECAPITATING SCARF!"

She swung the scarf; it stretched out impossibly far, remaining flat and one edge glinting with the glintiness of something very sharp. With dread magic behind the attack, it should neatly wrap about one of his heads and then lop it off when she gave a slight tug.

* * *

It wouldn't quite be accurate to saw Arhra Five was was cackling maniacally at seeing three of the Reis being disabled but still retaining limited functionality. Cocooned in a web of machinery in the mecha cockpit, she was on the verge of composing poetry about her great fortune. She had popped out of paradox with the power to incorporate technology into herself and had thus far run across robotroopers, the warped Mashirosen Tower of the past, rocket boots, three giant robot enemies, gotten another giant robot to pilot and now there were three Reis ripe for the taking.

She finished her lunge, grabbing Rei Aphrodite just after she was thoroughly trounced by Arhra, Arhra and Wrath and tranfered her power to Rei Classic. Armour panels slid back and cables shot out, jabbing into the remains of the iFlarobohobocurbot and Trogbot, dragging them back towards her mecha. Three other cavities opened in its armour, showing a web of interfaces and rapidly assembling devices. Her captive Rei was inserted into one, mechanisms grabbing the gynoid and infiltrating her broken form as the opening closed again.

Arhra's mecha punched at the other two disabled Reis, rocket propelled fists launching off. As they returned, Arhra's mecha curled up tightly, the giant robot remains being pulled about her in an armoured shell. A reattached fist, having safely deposited its cargo, scratched "Do not disturb" on the shell just before it fully enclosed her.

Inside, Arhra was merrily overseeing the infiltration of the machinery she had extruded into the three Reis. She isolated three cockpit displays from all other systems, connecting each one to show output from each of the Reis visually. Everything in place, Arhra picked out Rei Aphrodite and sent a message through a one-way line she had inserted.

"Salutations and greetings!

"While I do fully intend to thoroughly disect what remains of your bodies so as to take your technological distinctiveness into myself (and, in fact, am already doing so), I have concluded it would be prudent to ransack your brains and rummage around for any useful information on the current situation. Understandably, you may wish to self terminate at this point.

However, as I am a sufficiently paranoid individual to guess that Pedro would have included a self destruct device into your systems (in the unlikely event that Phoenix's original design did not call for one), I have already taken the liberties of disabling your primary motor controls, isolating any suspicious structures within your frames and inserting surge modulators into your power core feed lines to prevent any attempt to cause a catastrophic overload of your reactor core. I shall admit it is not currently within my power to stop you deleting your own minds.

"You may feel oddities in your thought patterns as I physically modify or disable parts of your mental architecture to render you more biddable. Do not be alarmed.

"Thus, in order to pursue this goal:"

01001101011001021011100110111001210110000101100111 01100101001000020011010010111001210010000001100001
01110011001000202001100110011012121101101100011011 00011011110111202111011100110012121010001000000110
00100110100102110200110111100120112000110110110001 10010100100002001211001101101020002110111101100101
00100000011020110021101001011201110201110011001000 00011000010121000121011101000211101201011000010110
11000110100101110011011001010010000001110010011000 01011001000110100101110011011010000110010101110011
00100000011001110111001001100101011001010110111001 10110001111001001011100010000001001001011001100010
00000111100101101111022222211101010010000001100001 01110010011001010010022222200001110010011001010110 00010110010001101001011011100110011100100000011101 00011010000110100101110011001011000010000001110011
01110101011100100111000001110010011010010111001101 10010100100001 - ZORT!

Arhra had obviously chosen to emulate the world's greatest pantsless detective. It was an attack on many levels, thought viruses embedded in the very medium of the message and written in irrational mathematics that would be horrifying to a purely mechanically mind, one built on rules and logic.

OOC: Hmm, might be a bit foolhardy to do this, but with Arhra Five's crazed machine lust, I just couldn't see it happening any other way. I didn't do anything related to Wrath since I think Rhiya was wanting to do that bit. I was also wanting something about getting Pedros Nihilem to be best man, but couldn't quite work it in.

[Flarecobra]

I was now redressed, and looked up at the....mechanical chimera was the only word to describe it. "Man, is that thing fugly." I said, before heading to Rei. "Hey Rei, didn't you have some kind of directional electrical-magnetic-pulse weapon prototype back in the labs?" I called out to her, figuring that if I had any chance at getting out of here with my skin intact, this would be it. Maybe even use it myself to some extent....Or pull off a crazy plan I had that would help hinder Pedro's power base.

[Rhiya Ravenwing]

"We have to stop third impact!" was Arhra's cry. And there indeed was an impact of sorts, only a bit less messy, and a bit more painful.

Dragon Arhra, her whipping tail still carrying forward with its previous forceful momentum, hurtled forward, unable to stop herself or dissipate the power in her swing to other areas.

So Wrath, on the end of it all, encased in her protective bubble of spikiness, was carried undeniably forward...

There was a sickening crunch as Wrath's hamsterball of zordy doom lodged itself right in the area where the megazord's currently-forming body's crotch region was.

If the megazord had any arms at that point, it would've clutched convulsively (and comically) at the forceful impact. But, since everybody was being selfish and wanted to be the good bits, all the megazord could do was buckle over its nonexistent legs with mock pain.

But it wasn't over just yet. Wrath, having found her momentum locked by the megazord, flared her wings, the tips of which grazed the edges of the ball. Patterns appeared over the edges, spreading in glyphs and glowing, foreign words from the touched point. As it spread, it widened and sped up, and soon the whole ball lit up in eerie white glyphic light.

An arc of electricity belted its way around the glowing globe, and the clone-Furies changed conformation. Their forms bent, warping as they reformed and started wiring themselves into the megazord. Up above them, Pyros experienced a sudden surge of energy. Everything lit up at once, going a little crazy with all the lights from the buttons everywhere. TBM's running track suddenly moved of its own will, spinning into hyper-drive, with enough force to fling the poor doll off and hit the other side of the control room with a dull, comical little *thud!* - that is, should Pyros not save the plushie from that indignant little mishap.

Then when Wrath finally managed to reroute her emanating power back into other business, everything settled down a bit, and the Megazord appeared to now sport a hippy new rotatable hip-socket!

"Hmm, sorry about that," was all Wrath said (her words managing to shear half the paint off the interior of Pyros' deck, and caused another brief surge of energy).

[PyrosNine]

"Dammit girl, you done scratched my ride, and it if weren't for the fact I 'omised yer parents to raise you good all these years, I'd whip yer hide! Oh, mercy me! Why is it that a lowly pyro-cat-god gets no love from the ones he cares about? What sort of world are we coming to?" Pyros sniffled, wearing a farmer's uniform while The drugged fan had TBM put on a dolly medical center.

"It'll be like the time I put my dolly together after my dad soaked him in cheap whisky, set him on fire, and ate him! And then molested me more!"

"Heh. We chaps just fused with [expletive removed: Clearly something nice and wholesome. Totally.] two girls. That's [expletive] great!"

It was then that Mauve joined up, forming an arm (which was sorely needed. Following that, some actual legs would be nice, assuming there were still other zords for fusion) that was powered solely by Mauve's personality, ensuring that the Zord's powerful right punch would destroy all.

"Alright, now could everybody hurry up and fuse with us? It's not like Rei's gonna stand still looking blankly in space for a few more minutes, and Pedro's not going to turn us all non-existanty the more time we give him!"

Pyros spied the newly being formed five headed dragon.

"GRAH! What do you mortals do? REALLY? We NEED you over here, not in the form that could easily be defeated by a friggin buster blader! Which is the most balancing card ever made, by the way."

[Wizardcat]

"I demand cake!" demanded Fire Dragon Head Amalplush.

"This is a real pain in the neck," Water Dragon Head Plushie Wizardcat moaned. "Pun intended. Now, cool down." The dragon head sprayed a blast of water at the one on its right. It was likely that the two were going to fight for a while.

The Earth Dragon Head was sleeping, with no idea as to what was going on. It didn't really care, either. It was likely this would continue.

Dark Dragon Head Plushie Hikari was busy being occupied with Arhra, or namely, her/his/its scarf. It wrapped around the black dragon before decapitation occured. The head laying on the ground grimasced. "Did you really have to bite my head off?" she demanded, once again pun intended. "It'll be a dark, dark day for you." The head regrew and tried to live up to the promise. The mouth opened wide and released a stream of dark dragon breath towards Ahrha. It was likely that this wouldn't stop for a long while.

"GRAH! What do you mortals do? REALLY? We NEED you over here, not in the form that could easily be defeated by a friggin buster blader! Which is the most balancing card ever made, by the way," Pyros babbled.

Wind Dragon Head Wizzle glared at the fire-cat's Zord's cockpit area. "Buster Blader? Hah! Who uses cards that depend on your opponent's cards, anyway? No, sir, the four decks that I use include a Dark-Magician/Spellcaster deck, a Red-Eyes/Dragon deck, an Aqua deck, and a defensive/burn deck. Anyway, this form can't even take life points damage from battles, and only a small, small, small fraction of monsters would be able to best us. I'd like to see a Buster Blader scratch us!" It was also likely that Pyros and Wind Dragon Head Wizzle would babble about Yu-Gi-Oh for a unknown period of time.

This was a prime example that multiple heads aren't better than one. The forming Zord also seemed to prove that as well.

[Bailey]

"Ooooh, if I had arms of my own I'd totally by scratching your face off right around now! As is, I can't be bothered, so I'll instead throw fire at Pyros to make him either be quiet or cheer with joy, both of which being preferable to harassing us."

Amalplush breathed fire towards the forming megazord, making sure to hit Pyros' viewscreen, but halfway through his blast he hiccuped. This was very bad. It would normally be normal bad for a fire-breather to hiccup, but Amalplush had had an unlimited store of STUFF in his inner compartment, and now seemed to be breathing this out in his hiccups.

A robotic couch crashed into Pyros' viewscreen, writhed, twitched, grew legs, and scampered downwards to attach to the megazord's bottom, forming the hips. The stream of hiccuping STUFF continued, causing various other items to hit Pyros's viewscreen, and ultimately leaving the megazord with a semi-functioning set of legs made out of furniture.

The refrigerator was a knee.