Michael Bay wants to take "Mutant" out of the Ninja Turtles. - Page 9

walkertexasdruid · 03-26-2012, 07:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MSperoni

Transformers meets Sixth Sense!

"I see transformers..."

"You're crazy, kid!"

Then it turns out Bruce Willis is the kid's PSP THE WHOLE TIME. DUN DUUUUUN.

That's a good one. Finally someone here who 'gets me'.

BitVyper · 03-26-2012, 08:06 PM

Quote:

Pst. Bit. Biiiit. Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.
I can't be the only one to have noticed the irony, here.

I don't get it. What are you trying to call me on here? I'm not really sure you know. Are you comparing SMB to Bay's TFs? If so, you're pretty much objectively wrong. Like, even if you're the kind of sociopath who didn't like SMB, they did pretty different things. You're not going to criticise SMB for the things the TF movies did wrong because SMB didn't do those things. The stupid, lazy filming techniques Bay shits on his movies with were still appropriately considered stupid mistakes to be avoided when SMB came out. If you have a problem with SMB, even if the problem is broadly similar (like say "visuals") your criticisms are going to be based on fairly different criteria. For instance, you can actually see the action in SMB clearly. Like if TF had been handled the way SMB was, I would probably have no issues with it. It would have clear visuals, solid designs, a willingness to explore the otherworldliness of the TFs, and primary focus on the title characters and their struggles. Also no Megan Fox or Shia LeBouf and a general acceptance that people who don't fit into the supermodel standard of attractiveness can be passionate and fall in love (seriously, Bertha's probably my favourite thing about that movie. Mario should'a taken her with him).

There is no reason that you would call SMB "~2 hours of flashing lights and noise," like I said about Bay's TFs. At least if you did, your metaphor would be demonstrably misleading. You might have other problems with it, but your problems, but you'd have to stretch your parameters to the point of uselessness to put them in the same category.

Even the things I praised about SMB are things that have no relevance here. TF doesn't do anything with its setting - its setting is just modern America. It doesn't really have any costumes beyond normal clothes and uniforms, and it's definitely not anything I would call fun, as it goes out of its way to be stupidly gritty and serious with its designs.

Are you saying it's ironic because I made a big thread about how SMB is a fantastic movie even though other people shit-talk it, but I call another movie shit? 'Cause if that's the case, you need to revisit your understanding of irony.

I just can't really work out what it is you're trying to call me on here.

Osterbaum · 03-26-2012, 08:16 PM

I like to imagine that "SMB" in this context is short for SmartyMcBarrelpants and that Bit is furiously defending Smarty as the superior product to Transformers.

tacticslion · 03-26-2012, 09:08 PM

Bit:

Super Mario Brothers: it outright ignored and rewrote a number of elements that, at the time, were kind of fundamental to the franchise (and still represents the Mario franchise about as well as, say, any given PETA commercial).

Transformers: hey it's kinda similar in that way!

Also, both movies really irritated the fans of said franchises and were directed by people that nobody liked and get a metric ton of hate on the internets (and have very vocal defenders).

I mean, I could go on, but I'll stop there, 'cause, you know - I'm not really trying to pick a fight. Short version: SMB wasn't a great movie. You defend it as if it was, then get really irritable at people who don't share your taste. I find that kind of funny. That kind of irony.

(EDIT: in other words, you're over-analyzing an off-hand comment)

Also, what Osterbaum says: that's hilarious.

EDIT: more on topic - so, Bay: complete monster or just a doofus?

Azisien · 03-26-2012, 09:19 PM

What I never got about people railing on Transformers is that yeah, the Bay interpretations are really shallow and often times crappy even with a superficial review, but it's not like the real source material of Transformers is good. It's shit too. Citation not needed.

Krylo · 03-26-2012, 09:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tacticslion

Bit:

Super Mario Brothers: it outright ignored and rewrote a number of elements that, at the time, were kind of fundamental to the franchise

And which would not have worked at all in a movie format. It kept the bare skeleton of the basic plot with the goombas and the mushroom kingdom and the princess, and then rewrote everything necessary to make it work as a 1993 movie, as that a movie about some dude jumping on weird mushroom people to save a princess with no dialogue or characterization of any real sort would not have flown, and they didn't really have the technology to, say, recreate the Super Mario Super Show in live action.

Further, it's still obvious watching the movie that somebody CARED, and not just a little, either. There's a lot of love that went into it which is obvious as you watch the movie.

Quote:

Transformers: hey it's kinda similar in that way!

Except that the changes made were unnecessary and of a completely different caliber. They weren't changes to make it work as a movie, they were changes to allow Michael Bay to fetishize the military. And just... add racism for no real reason. And move the focus of the movie away from the title characters.

When people complain about the changes to the franchise in the Bay movie they have specific complaints as to what changed and why that made it a poor movie.

When people do the same for Super Mario Brothers it's just 'It's nothing like the games' which, itself, isn't really completely true, but just not a similar complaint at all except on a level so b... wait hold on:

Quote:

Originally Posted by BitVyper

you'd have to stretch your parameters to the point of uselessness to put them in the same category.

Quote:

Originally Posted by tacticslion

Also, both movies really irritated the fans of said franchises and were directed by people that nobody liked and get a metric ton of hate on the internets (and have very vocal defenders).

And again:

Quote:

Originally Posted by BitVyper

you'd have to stretch your parameters to the point of uselessness to put them in the same category.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Azisien

What I never got about people railing on Transformers is that yeah, the Bay interpretations are really shallow and often times crappy even with a superficial review, but it's not like the real source material of Transformers is good. It's shit too. Citation not needed.

I totally agree except that the Bay movies are even worse than the original source material which is an accomplishment of some degree. It's like he viciously cut away anything that was ever good about the source, kept everything terrible about the source, and then added a bunch more terrible stuff to replace the good stuff he had cut away.

It's like some kind of black magic he's got going on.

Magus · 03-26-2012, 09:42 PM

Transformers is just shitty, though. Not even on an adaptation level. I mean it probably did a decent job of adapting shit, all in all. You got Megatron fightin' Optimus Prime for the Cube which is pretty much the Matrix or whatever. It is just a terrible, terrible commer--I mean, movie. Whereas SMB was at least somewhat enjoyable in and of itself, even if also a terrible adaptation.

I'll tell you what, I'll take Mario and Luigi dancing to Everybody Walk the Dinosaur in a dystopian nightclub over that annoying as fuck tiny robot who inexplicably had a Brooklyn accent in that second movie. Man that was an annoying robot. Shit.

SHIT.

Krylo · 03-26-2012, 09:55 PM

Don't forget robot balls.

Magus · 03-26-2012, 10:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Krylo

Don't forget robot balls.

Oh, God, I can't remember this...were they like wrecking balls on a construction truck or something? God don't even tell me I don't want to know...

Krylo · 03-26-2012, 10:27 PM

03-26-2012, 08:16 PM	#83
Osterbaum The revolution will be memed! Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: FIN Posts: 5,967	I like to imagine that "SMB" in this context is short for SmartyMcBarrelpants and that Bit is furiously defending Smarty as the superior product to Transformers. __________________ D is for Dirty Commie!

03-26-2012, 09:19 PM	#85
Azisien wat Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 7,177	What I never got about people railing on Transformers is that yeah, the Bay interpretations are really shallow and often times crappy even with a superficial review, but it's not like the real source material of Transformers is good. It's shit too. Citation not needed. Last edited by Azisien; 03-26-2012 at 09:21 PM.

03-26-2012, 09:42 PM	#87
Magus Archer and Armstrong vs. the World Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 7,164	Transformers is just shitty, though. Not even on an adaptation level. I mean it probably did a decent job of adapting shit, all in all. You got Megatron fightin' Optimus Prime for the Cube which is pretty much the Matrix or whatever. It is just a terrible, terrible commer--I mean, movie. Whereas SMB was at least somewhat enjoyable in and of itself, even if also a terrible adaptation. I'll tell you what, I'll take Mario and Luigi dancing to Everybody Walk the Dinosaur in a dystopian nightclub over that annoying as fuck tiny robot who inexplicably had a Brooklyn accent in that second movie. Man that was an annoying robot. Shit. SHIT. __________________ The Valiant Review

03-26-2012, 09:55 PM	#88
Krylo The Straightest Shota Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: It's a secret to everybody. Posts: 17,789	6-24-09 never forget. Don't forget robot balls. __________________ I am very tired.

03-26-2012, 10:27 PM	#90
Krylo The Straightest Shota Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: It's a secret to everybody. Posts: 17,789	__________________ I am very tired.