Let's Play: Vampire: Bloodlines

[BitVyper]

We don't double post here, man. Just edit your previous post.

[Odjn]

NEWSFLASH FROM UNCLE ODDLES' DESK

Front page links updated, new installment of everyone's favorite undead bitch coming up.

Also I swear you guys are the spammiest bastards ever I had to wade between four or five pages to find DFM's posts.

[42PETUNIAS]

When you've got a month between posts, some people occasionally like to talk in the middle.

[Odjn]

Well y'all should go aim each other or something and stop ruining the nice posts with your blather.

[BitVyper]

You know telling us to stop just makes us chat more, right?

[synkr0nized]

Originally Posted by Odjn

Also I swear you guys are the spammiest bastards ever I had to wade between four or five pages to find DFM's posts.

Welcome to a LP thread?
Also, when he doesn't update in like forever, people post also to bump the thread, methinks.

[DFM]

I GIVE UP MAKING THIS LONGER HERE IS WHAT I HAVE WRITTEN



The Incredible Edible Mandarin




"Good morning, Ms. Palowski. I was beginning to worry we'd actually killed you."

I sit up in the oddly comfortable bed. I don't recognize the room I'm in, but it's a far cry from the cement cells I've been stuffed into.

"Come on, Mandarin. We both know you're not that lucky."

The man on the television monitor across the room looks at me very smugly. It thinks it's winning, isn't that adorable?



"You're about to undergo the final phase of testing, so I'm afraid our time together is coming to an end. However, wiith your extraordinary abilities, you should prove invaluable in finding a weapon to efficiently kill your kind. Tell me, Helen, what is it that makes you so different from the others?"

"Do you want a real answer, or was that a rhetorical question I could give a snarky response to?"

"I would rather you avoided making those."

"Well, I'm still going to."

The ceiling of the room begins to give way, revealing a circular hole about the same size as the gold seal engraved in the marble floor. A platform, wonderful. I swing my legs over the side of the bed and stand, icy feet on an icy floor.

"Please, if you would be so kind as to step on the elevator, we can begin our tour of the Omega Laboratories."



"I bet I know how it ends."

"You seem very nonchalant about your fate. Curious."

"Almost like I know something you don’t."



The elevator begins to rise, rumbling upwards towards the hole in the ceiling. I wonder how I'm going to kill him? I'd rather not stoop to just shooting him, but it might be better to go for the sure thing instead of something more satisfying.



"Hello in there."

The voice is coming from a speaker mounted in the upper corner of the chamber. A camera rests above it, red light shining steadily through the darkness.

"Specimen is female, appearance suggests early to mid thirties, identified as Helen Alice Palowski, former defense contractor for the Serbians. Unusually high profile for a victim, investigate possible connection between this and Specimen Six's remarkable level of ability."



"We're going to start our final battery of testing. I hope you're excited." The voice pauses for a moment as the platform rises into a concrete chamber. "Specimen exhibits no vital signs. They are by all definition clinically dead. Let's make sure our sensors are not lying."



Gas. That's pretty cheap, Mandarin.



"Chamber has been flooded with carbon dioxide gas. Normal respiration cannot take place. Specimen seems... unaffected. Just like the others."

I glance around the foggy room until I find the camera again.

"Vampires don't need air, I'm glad your research is making such remarkable progress. We also drink blood, I'll give you that one for free. Don't let anyone know I told you, though. The papacy wouldn’t be pleased."

"While as uncooperative as the others, Specimen Six seem to prefer verbal attacks over physical resistance, using the latter only as a last resort. I've chosen to deviate slightly from our normal test routine in order to try something new." The voice pauses for a moment. "Hit the ultraviolet lights."




No.



Light explodes across the chamber. I'm on fire. I'm melting. I'm dust in the air. I'm ash in the floor.






"Does that burn at all? No?"

Another pause from the speaker as I lower my gaze towards my blood splattered hospital gown. Bright. Much brighter than I'm used to. I don't know if I've seen myself so clearly since...

"Specimen shows no sign of pain or even physical discomfort. While sunlight has been confirmed to kill these creatures, it must be some other property of photonic energy, not simply ultraviolet radiation, that causes their volatile reaction. Hm. Kill the lights."



"Your kind display a survival instinct that borders on anamalistic, and your physical capabilities surpass even the most athletic human. I am curious, however, just how agile can you be?"

The steel blast door slides slowly open, revealing a darkened section of hallway, red lasers criss crossing and sliding down its entire length.



"You will notice the laser sensors-"

I dive between the first two beams, hand catching the ground as I land nearly head first. Medical gown still trailing behind me I push myself back into the air, flipping feet first, my back nearly grazing a fourth beam as my feet hit the ground. I wait there, crouched, for a split second before judging the distance between the ground and the last series of beams is so vast it isn't worth judging.



I vault myself forward, twisting and sliding along my back until I pass underneath the final cluster of concentrated lights and roll deftly onto my feet again. I pass through the opening door and into another hall.



"I almost get the feeling you're showing off, Ms. Palowski. The next testing center is of great interest to me. We know your kind can regenerate lost extremities and recover from what should be mortal wounds..."

The door slides open, the roar of blades filling the cement hallway.



"But how much punishment can your body withstand before it ceases to function? Please, Six, could you enlighten us?"


...Shit. That's a lot of blades swinging up and down the floor. Carlson was supposed to cut the Omega lab's primary power couplings, but god knows if he was able to pull it off. Alright, no need to worry.


I'm queen bitch of the universe.



I crouch for a moment, waiting for the end blades to pass before I leap into the chamber, bare foot coming down expertly on the dull cap of the middle axle. Hit that, then jump to the opposite door. Across the room in two easy bounds.

That was the plan, anyway.


I wasn't ready for quite that much spin.

When my foot hits the axle cap it nearly twists my leg off, throwing me off my balance and against the far wall. I slam into it so hard my vision blurs. The fall from the wall to the floor doesn't help any. I look up in time to see the wall of rusted death whipping through the air towards me. I roll desperately against the wall as the blades pass, the edges digging into my back like a nightmare chainsaw. I scramble back to my feet towards the now sealed doorway in hopes of avoiding their returning pass when I'm interrupted by a loud, whining squeal. I glance behind me in time to see the blades slowly swing to a standstill, lights fading. Both the security doors disengage, opening wide.



"Hrm. Technical difficulties. I wonder somehow if you aren't behind this, but no matter. The next test will hopefully prove more... enlightening."

Thank you, Carlson, you glorious sack of flabby meat.



The room beyond is an obstacle course of some kind, splattered with blood and probably covering a sea of corpses.



In the middle stands a man in a hazmat suit. I think I'm either going to love or hate this test.



"Legends are often based on kernels of truth. Is there any merit to the stories of vampires being held at bay by a man of the cloth and his crucifix?"



Hmm. Two stories, multiple entry points. Probably going to send a death squad in after me when their priest dies.



No, they wouldn't be that stupid. Unless... they actually bought that bullshit I fed them about hypnotizing slaves by looking them in the eye. Dear god, I can only hope...



Kill yourself.



He doesn't even hesitate to jam it through his visor, glass shattering into his face as he screams.



Well. That was some unnecessary gusto. Mandarin's voice echoes over the load speaker.



"The Van Helsing theory has proven false. Well... when God fails, put your faith in the gun. Delmont team, you are cleared to engage."



The blast doors slide open, men in heavy combat armor swarm over the upper floor. Really, Mandarin?




Really?



You, take out the one on your left.



The armored man turns, firing a shotgun near point blank into his former friend. I fly up the ladder as he crouches behind the barrier, firing on the other security guards. I spin around the corner right into one of the distracted guards and lunge on instinct. He manages to lift the shotgun and fire before I rip into his neck. The pellets don't tear through me like I expected. They burn, clean through like a thermite splash. Refined incenerary rounds. Clever bastard.

I drop the guard's empty husk to the ground, grabbing is fire stick. The blast wounds aren't healing, but at least they're already cauterized.



I needed blood. I needed that gun, too. There's a final shotgun blast and the man I'd ordered to turn on his squadmates shows up behind me, saluting.

"Hostiles neutralized, Master!"

Still hungry. Been too long bolted to chairs and tables. Too long without a decent meal.



He doesn't struggle.



Alright, Mandarin. Got a little blood, got a little firepower, feelin' a little kick ass. Let's see what you've got.

"Specimen Six... has terminated Delmont team. You are turning out to be a very useful guinea pig., but we have a conflict of interest. You continue to endure even when it is my instruction to incapacitate you. You, I think... will require a more drastic approach. Please... proceed to the next area."



I hope there's more blood bags.

The blast door slides open, revealing a small pool surrounded by electrified walls and ceiling mounted generators.



"Many regimes have used electricity to torture information out of their captives. It would be useful if this applies to your kind as well. Does dead flesh offer some resilience to electrocution? Or would a high enough voltage provide resultes similar to fire?"

The generators flare to their maximum output, the room practically shrouded in lighting.

"Let's find out." I can hear the smirk over the speaker system.



I aim the shotgun at the generator and fire.



Showers of sparks, ripping, crackling... then nothing. The generators hang dead in the air, clean, dark holes where the Mandarin's customized rounds sliced cleanly through.

"...You have demonstrated considerable mental and physical acumen, and... I am quite perplexed at how something that should be dead can display such strong survival skills."

Silence.

"...Let's being the final test. Step into the next room."



He sounds like a child losing their favorite toy.



"Standby. Run a check on the extinguishers one more time."

Oh my.

"I've already determined that fire is a weakness of your kind. I am more interested in the psychological effect it has on you. Can you maintain your resourcefulness, your clearheadedness, when overwhelmed by terror?"

"Mandarin, is this really how you want all our good times to end?"

"Extinguishers check. Recording devices check." His voice lowers, the cement walls of the hallway begin to glow a dull orange. "Start the fires."



Heat.


Burning.


I'm about to burst into flame.



The tanks of the flamethrowers are exposed.





My skin starts to blister.




Mandarin, you stupid fuck.

"...What is it doing?"

I raise the shotgun to my shoulder, aiming at the tank. I can't feel anything but pain. I can smell my hair burning.

"NO!"

The shotgun trigger ushers in an explosive blast like I haven't seen since the warehouse. I see the wall fly past me. A one way mirror shatters to the ground. I see the back of the Mandarin, and the backs of the security guards who must have been watching Delmont team. I see them before the explosion knocks me off my feet and sends me careening into a wall. Before everything goes dark, I hear the loudspeaker screaming.

"IT'S OUT. SPECIMEN SIX IS OUT!"

[Kepor]

Oh hey DFM's doing an LP, cool.

[tzimisce]

Cool.

[Vauron]

Silly Mandarin with his pathetic obstacle course. The only bits I ever had trouble with was the blades, as I didn't realise how the heck to make them stop, and waiting for him to shut up and open the door.