04-01-2011, 08:00 AM | #1 |
Sent to the cornfield
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They ruined a good title!
In this thread we take things with fantastic, yet misleading titles, and propose better alternatives.
Like Black Gestapo: What it actually is: Lame blacksploitation drama What it should be: Black man sneaks into the gestapo, series of comic misadventures as his identity is nearly discovered by his bumbling commander. Final scene: he must play at the county jazz competition across town while also being present for the barracks inspectionary vist of Hitler at the same time, running between the two, forgetting to remove his uniform in one, his saxophone in the other. Comedy gold. Blade Runner: What it actually is: Hum-drum sci-fi What it should be:In a world ravaged by war, guns are the only currency. Cold, impersonal killing machines stalk the landscape, gunning down all regardless of rank or class. But for one man, this is too far, one man dreams of honour, of carrying the price of suffering, of being a man. This man is the Blade Runner. MoonRaker: What it actually is: Second best bond movie, still shit What it should be: Professor Lawrence Donovan is an ordinary man, he drives to work, he teaches class, he stops for a coffee on the way home. Until one day, his life, his career, his work in linguistic archaeology is turned upside down. What secrets did he discover? What is too frightening for us to say? Why is the government trying to stop him? Did General Franco use the works of Gaudi to hide secrets to his Nazi gold, hidden on the moon? Will they dig it up before air runs out? Find out in MoonRaker! |
04-01-2011, 08:15 AM | #2 | |
History's Strongest Dilettante
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Quote:
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"There are worlds out there where the sky is burning, and the sea is asleep, and the rivers dream. People made of smoke and cities made of song. Somewhere there's danger, somewhere there's injustice, somewhere else the tea's getting cold. Come on, Ace; we've got work to do!" Awesome art be here. |
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04-01-2011, 08:33 AM | #3 |
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Keeping a good thing going.
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04-01-2011, 08:57 AM | #4 |
Keeper of the new
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: A place without judgment
Posts: 4,506
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I don't actually remember what Dark Arms was about, but I'm sure I like my version more.
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Hope insistent, trust implicit, love inherent, life immersed |
04-01-2011, 09:48 AM | #5 |
Sent to the cornfield
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Guess what the best one is!Go on!
The Quick and the Dead: What it actually is: Lame actiony-western What it should be: Werewolves vs Zombies Lost in Space: What it actually is: Terrible campy movie/tv-show What it should be: Lost in space |
04-01-2011, 10:04 AM | #6 |
tamp tamp tamp
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Virginia
Posts: 1,270
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Blade Runner should have been a title about a movie of people who have an ice skating tournament, only it's in a futuristic sci-fi version of a Roman Coliseum, to the death, and there's no ice.
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Hey baby, I hear the blues a-callin'. Tossed salad and scrambled eggs Oh My! Mercy! And maybe I seem a bit confused, yeah maybe, but I got you pegged! But I don’t know what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs. They're calling again. |
04-01-2011, 10:09 AM | #7 |
Sent to the cornfield
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No that's Blades of Glory.
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04-01-2011, 12:07 PM | #8 |
bOB iZ brOkeN
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: It's a nice place to visit...
Posts: 3,755
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Smart McBarrelpants
What he actually is: Just an opinionated person on the internet, pretty much like everyone else What he should be: An insane bunny, who is completelly obsessed with making everyone 'Do a Barrel Roll' Sorry, but this world needs more insane bunnies. We've got pleny of opininonated ppl on the internet. Besides, the Timothy Dalton Bond flicks were the best.
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:bmage: Because breakdancing is evil, and so am I, you will click on this link: You are in error. No one is screaming. Thank you for your cooperation. Yes I know the breakdancing BM link doesn't work, and I don't care.
Last edited by Sky Warrior Bob; 04-01-2011 at 12:19 PM. |
04-01-2011, 12:37 PM | #9 |
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04-01-2011, 01:06 PM | #10 |
Sent to the cornfield
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How is Moonraker not the best EON bond? Bond movies are about being ridiculously silly and just doing crazy shit- in no movie do they do more ridiculously silly and crazy shit than Moonraker.
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