I'm still kind of confused how something like Kazaam gets made into a movie...

Magus · 11-12-2011, 02:12 AM

Yes, they made this into a movie

I mean, think about it, it's a live-action movie where the main gimmick is that Shaquille O'Neal plays a rapping Black genie who lives inside of a magic boombox.

Let's be serious. This would have been an awesome Saturday morning cartoon concept. Saturday morning cartoons lend themselves to such "random" concepts as motorcycle-riding anthropomorphic mice from Mars, jet-flying anthropomorphic cats, ninjitsu-trained anthropomorphic turtles, anthropomorphic sharks who glide through pavement like its water, and anthropomorphic private-investigating dogs and rabbits who solve oddball crimes (that's a lot of anthropomorphism).

This was better than Kazaam*

You also have such concepts as the blue-skinned, green-haired physical embodiment of Planet Earth being summoned by teenagers, or a hapless janitor mutated by toxic sludge who fights polluters with a mop. This is the environment where a freestyling rapper genie would fit right in, to the enjoyment of nine year old kids everywhere. But instead they attempt to make it feature-length?!

This was better than Kazaam

Hubris, thy name is Kazaam. Like Icarus attempting to touch the sun, you flew too high in your aspirations and plummeted to a watery demise. As a half-hour cartoon, you would have thrived. THRIVED, I say.

But instead you exist only to form the negative comparison in the following sentence, "The DC-universe movie where Shaquille O'Neal wore armor and fought crime with a laser-hammer wasn't great, but at least it's better than Kazaam."

This was better than Kazaam

Thoughts?**

*But really the inclusion of gay leather-fetish mutant mice into anything maximizes its awesomeness

**Incoherent ramblings, which are the usual result of the realization that someone put Shaquille O'Neal into a ton of movies BUT DID NOT give him at least a supporting role in the one where Michael Jordan plays basketball with Looney Tunes characters, are also welcome

Seil · 11-12-2011, 02:41 AM

Fuck you Kazaam was awesome.

Seil · 11-12-2011, 02:42 AM

I mean Shaqile O'Niel was a genie! What more do you want?!

Jagos · 11-12-2011, 02:53 AM

You forget the Samurai Pizza Cats? WTF?!

Professor Smarmiarty · 11-12-2011, 12:14 PM

Let's green egg and ham it.

Geminex · 11-12-2011, 12:18 PM

I read the book. It didn't live up to the source material.

Bells · 11-12-2011, 12:30 PM

....now i'm kinda curious about your thoughts on Space Jam....

Magus · 11-12-2011, 12:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bells

....now i'm kinda curious about your thoughts on Space Jam....

It was half-cartoon so this is an example of "DOING IT RIGHT"

EDIT:

@Seil: It's probably just that the disillusionment with the final product versus the concept is so overpowering. Like the kind of idea that is a rapping genie who lives in a boombox is the kind that only comes around once a millennium, and it's such an AMAZING concept that you wonder how they could not deliver the most amazing film you've ever seen.

Whereas the concept "Michael Jordan plays basketball with Bugs Bunny", well I can say they pretty much delivered on that concept with Space Jam. It's difficult to determine how more justice could have been done to that concept, other than that Who Framed Roger Rabbit? is a better film using the "live-action/animated mash-up" form. But I can't envision a superior Space Jam like I can a superior Kazaam.

ANOTHER EDIT: Like just imagine that Kazaam, instead of being a Shaquille O'Neal live-action movie, had been a half-hour cartoon featuring the voice of Phil Lamarr, and where pretty much every episode culminates in the hero, having solved a mystery and determined that indeed Old Man Brinkley is, indeed, the culprit, summoning Kazaam to intone "I AM...KAZAAM!" and lay the smackdown on the villains.

Would that not be the best thing EVER? It would basically be Thundercats or He-Man but with a rapping boombox genie being the "magic sword" that allows the hero to ruin the villains' shit.

Professor Smarmiarty · 11-12-2011, 02:03 PM

Replace Shaq with woody allen. Problem solved.

stefan · 11-12-2011, 09:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bells

....now i'm kinda curious about your thoughts on Space Jam....

my only real concern about space jam is the fact that remixing the space jam theme into any song automatically makes it better.

11-12-2011, 02:12 AM	#1
Magus Archer and Armstrong vs. the World Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 7,164	I'm still kind of confused how something like Kazaam gets made into a movie... Yes, they made this into a movie I mean, think about it, it's a live-action movie where the main gimmick is that Shaquille O'Neal plays a rapping Black genie who lives inside of a magic boombox. Let's be serious. This would have been an awesome Saturday morning cartoon concept. Saturday morning cartoons lend themselves to such "random" concepts as motorcycle-riding anthropomorphic mice from Mars, jet-flying anthropomorphic cats, ninjitsu-trained anthropomorphic turtles, anthropomorphic sharks who glide through pavement like its water, and anthropomorphic private-investigating dogs and rabbits who solve oddball crimes (that's a lot of anthropomorphism). This was better than Kazaam* You also have such concepts as the blue-skinned, green-haired physical embodiment of Planet Earth being summoned by teenagers, or a hapless janitor mutated by toxic sludge who fights polluters with a mop. This is the environment where a freestyling rapper genie would fit right in, to the enjoyment of nine year old kids everywhere. But instead they attempt to make it feature-length?! This was better than Kazaam Hubris, thy name is Kazaam. Like Icarus attempting to touch the sun, you flew too high in your aspirations and plummeted to a watery demise. As a half-hour cartoon, you would have thrived. THRIVED, I say. But instead you exist only to form the negative comparison in the following sentence, "The DC-universe movie where Shaquille O'Neal wore armor and fought crime with a laser-hammer wasn't great, but at least it's better than Kazaam." This was better than Kazaam Thoughts?** But really the inclusion of gay leather-fetish mutant mice into anything maximizes its awesomeness Incoherent ramblings, which are the usual result of the realization that someone put Shaquille O'Neal into a ton of movies BUT DID NOT give him at least a supporting role in the one where Michael Jordan plays basketball with Looney Tunes characters, are also welcome __________________ The Valiant Review Last edited by Magus; 11-12-2011 at 02:30 AM.*

11-12-2011, 02:53 AM	#4
Jagos FRONT KICK OF DOOM! Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Howdy pardner... Posts: 6,399	You forget the Samurai Pizza Cats? WTF?! __________________ Copyright musings World ramblings Scifi stories

11-12-2011, 12:30 PM	#7
Bells That's so PC of you Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: In a Server-sided Dimension where time is meaningless Posts: 10,490	....now i'm kinda curious about your thoughts on Space Jam.... __________________ *BELLS STORE : Clothes! You wear* them! Free US Shipping Subscription System? WTF?! Zazzle Black!**

11-12-2011, 02:41 AM	#2
Seil Super stressed! Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: British Columbia Posts: 8,081	Fuck you Kazaam was awesome.

11-12-2011, 02:42 AM	#3
Seil Super stressed! Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: British Columbia Posts: 8,081	I mean Shaqile O'Niel was a genie! What more do you want?!

11-12-2011, 12:14 PM	#5
Professor Smarmiarty Sent to the cornfield Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: K-space Posts: 9,758	Let's green egg and ham it.

11-12-2011, 12:18 PM	#6
Geminex SOM3WH3R3 Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 4,606	I read the book. It didn't live up to the source material.

11-12-2011, 02:03 PM	#9
Professor Smarmiarty Sent to the cornfield Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: K-space Posts: 9,758	Replace Shaq with woody allen. Problem solved.