The Evil Rules Of Iron-fistiness!!!111

[Viper Daimao]

Rules for the New 8-Bit Theater Message Boards

Yo! Welcome to the new message boards for Brian Clevinger's ongoing sprite-based webcomic, the legendary and refreshingly lemon-scented 8-bit theater. The old boards were getting to be kind of a mess, so we're starting afresh on our own site with a brand new non-crappy, organized and ads-free forum for the fans of 8-bit Theater.

Things are going to be run pretty much the same as they were on the old forums. These rules are in place to help keep the forum a fun place to post, and to keep it and 8-Bit respectable in the greater online community. Nobody wants 8-Bit to get a reputation for having rude, unpleasant fans, after all, especially the fans themselves. Please remember that the way you behave here reflects not only on you, but also on Brian and 8-Bit Theater itself. If you can't behave for your own sake, at least do it for the sake of the person who's given you the comic and this forum in the first place.

Regulars of the old forum, please take note: the new rules apply to you too. You will not be allowed to get away with bad behavior just because you were around in the old days. If the
rules don't apply to everyone, they apply to no one. Yes, this means you. You've been warned.

All posters, new and old: please read through the following rules. New rules and revisions to rules will be posted here so you won't miss them. Yay.

[Viper Daimao]

I. General Rules

* You should read through this document at least once -- preferably right now, before you sign up. This way you can decide whether or not these forums are really for you, and you'll also have a good idea of what kind of behavior is expected of you as a poster. Remember -- if you sign up, this means to us that you've read the rules and agreed to abide by them, and we'll
expect you to behave accordingly.

"That sucks, yo."

Sorry. If you don't like the way we're running things here, feel free to start up a forum of your very own. EZBoard offers free message boards for anyone who wants them; they're as good a
place to start as any. We wish you the best of luck and will be watching your future career with interest.

"What if I can't read all of this in one sitting?"

This document will be kept up on the site where you can easily find it -- you can read through it anytime you need to. For right now, the most important parts for you to read are the General Rules and the parts about the Moderators and Forum Behavior. Like we said already, though, it's a good idea to read through all of this at least once, so you know what's the what. We want you
to have a good time here, after all.

"But dude, like, I don't wanna read stuff. It, like, really hurts my tiny, tiny little dino brain."

Then you have no right to complain when you get busted for breaking the rules too many times. Stupidity and laziness will only hurt you, not the rest of us.

"What happens if the rules get changed?"

You'll be the first to know when this happens. Well, okay, we're the ones figuring them out, so really we're the first to know, and you're the second -- but trust us, you'll be told about it as soon as the changes go into effect. Notices about updates or changes to the rules will be posted in the Announcements at the top of the page of every forum, so it'll be a good idea to check them every now and then to see what's up.

"What if I think your rules are stupid because I broke one and got in trouble for it? I should be allowed to do whatever I want to. My mommy said I can because I'm her special little angel."

Like we said -- sorry. Go find your own sandbox to play in if you don't like the way we play. If you really feel you've been treated unfairly, then please send one of us a polite mail about it -- ONCE -- and we'll try and work something out. Be aware, though, that just because you think you've been hard done by doesn't necessarily mean that you really have.

* There will be a "three strikes" policy regarding board discipline. The three strikes are:

First Strike: a warning from a moderator, including a citation of which rule was broken
Second Strike: banning from the boards for a day, or other length of time as set by a moderator and approved of by the head moderator
Third Strike: permanent banning

The first strike is a slap on the wrist, but it lets you know that we'll be keeping an eye on you. The second strike is to show you that we're serious about not letting bad behavior overrun our boards, and to give you time to reconsider the way you've been acting. By the third strike we're tired of dealing with you and your nonsense, and you're out of here.

There's a catch, though -- especially bad behavior will take you straight to the third strike,no questions asked. This is not something that will be done lightly: if you get insta-banned, you'll have really done something to earn it.

Also, instead of receiving a warning, or as a preliminary to getting temp-banned, you may be put on probation. This blocks you from creating new threads, although you can still post in existing ones.

"You can't ban me! Free speech! I have the right to say whatever I want, it's a free country, and you can't stop me!"

But we can and we will, if you act like a jackass. This is a privately-owned message board, not the floor of the House of Representatives -- your "freedom of speech" ends where the rights of your fellow posters (and the moderators' stupidity tolerance) begins. Again, if you don't like it, feel free to start your own Very Special Gold Stars All About Me, Me, ME Super Cool
Message Board Only ME Allowed where you can exercise your right to be vulgar and idiotic all the day long.

"I'll just sign up again under a different name, neener neener!"

Chances are that if you're enough of a jackass to get banned once, you're enough of a jackass to get banned again and again, especially if you're stupid enough to brag about it (as most jackasses are). If you get banned and come back under a different name, bearing a new and improved disposition, you'll be more than welcome to participate again...but we're not holding our breath on that one.

"What if I get banned unfairly?"

Again, this isn't too likely -- banning is a last resort in most cases, after all. If you feel you have a legitimate complaint, please send one of us a polite message about it, ONCE, and we'll see what can be done. Bear in mind that spamming us with 500 "u suck adn ur mom does to!!!!!!!!!1111111" messages probably isn't going to get you your posting privileges back (although it will get your address reported to your mailhost's TOS team).

If you've been banned and you really, *really* don't know why, it may be that you share an IP with someone who got rightfully banned. If this happens, please mail one of the mods about it, and we'll see what can be done about it.

"Can I warn someone if they're screwing up? If I do, does that count as the first strike?"

Sure, you can give someone a friendly tip, but it won't count as their first strike -- only a moderator's warning counts. This means less work for the mods and makes the first official warning a bit more serious -- if everyone's telling someone to knock it off and they keep doing it, they're obviously someone the mods need to keep an eye on.

"I have a super gigantic mega sig with Flash and Midi and 2megs worth of animated gifs. Your life is hell now."

Please limit your sigs to a few lines of text and or links. Images, much less flash or midis are no longer allowed now that we have our own message board hosted by Fuitad(Pierre-Luc).

[Viper Daimao]

II. The Moderators

* The forum will be policed by several admins and moderators and one head moderator whose say is final. Their job is to enforce board policy by editing/removing posts, moving/closing/deleting threads,
settling disputes, encouraging good behavior, issuing warnings, and instituting temporary and permanent bans.

"Okay, so who are the mods?"

The head moderator is Brian himself, under the name "Kurosen". In the event that one moderator disagrees with another moderator's handling of a situation, the matter will be taken to Brian, who'll make the final decision. He also oversees bannings and un-bannings. If you have a complaint about one of the other moderators, direct it to him--but please do this sparingly!
Which would you rather he spent his time doing--working on the site, or answering tattletale mail?

The other moderators/administrators are Shiney, ViperDaimao, Drooling Iguana, Mashirosen, krylo, Crodevillian Team (also known as CroTeam), Meister, RaiRai, fifthfiend, and in the RaiRO forum, ProphetX. They'll be patrolling the boards on a regular basis, and you'll probably get to know them pretty well, since they're just normal posters like you when they're not doing their job. "They are mortal the same as we!" If you want to tell them about something, please send them a polite mail about it and they'll do their best to get back to you as your message merits -- but bear in mind that they have lives away from the forum (no, really).

* The Moderator-Poster Code of Conduct:

1. The moderators will do their best to be respectful and polite towards posters; but by the same token, respect is earned. If you're rude to a mod, don't be surprised if you're treated
the same.

2. The moderators will do their best to be fair and patient, and to avoid pettiness; you will do your best to obey the rules and the judgment calls of the moderators without complaining or
disrespecting their authority.

3. The moderators will not play favorites; you will not expect special treatment from any particular mod.
4. Only Kurosen's say is final in any dispute; however, you will not bother him by contesting every little decision the mods make.

"Bitchen'! Can I be a mod too? Huh? Can I can I can I? I'll be your best friend!"

Sorry, all moderator positions have been filled. In the event that a position opens up, we'll probably end up either picking a poster who consistently shows maturity and good judgment, or having the old mod pick his or her replacement based on the same criteria.

"Hey! This one mod disagreed with my opinion about something -- I Want to complain about them, the big meanie bully poo-head!"

Don't waste our time with petty stuff like this. The only time you need to complain about a mod is if you feel he or she has been abusing their power or deciding unjustly in a situation -- telling
you that all evidence suggests that the sky is blue and not magenta in a discussion is not grounds for complaint.

[Viper Daimao]

III. Forum Behavior

* Think before you post. Do you have something to contribute to the conversation, or are you just padding your post count? If you're in a heated debate thread and are starting to take things personally or get overheated, walk away from the computer until you've calmed down -- the thread will still be there when you come back, and your opinions will be respected a lot more if you stop yourself from using arguments like "your mom!".

* Don't bump old topics for the sake of bumping them. The only time you really need to drag up an old thread is if someone starts a new thread discussing something that's already been talked about. Almost anything else is just a waste of space.

* Presentation is everything. Try to make your posts as legible as possible, and for the love of god, lay off the pseudo-gangsta talk and the 1337, unless you *want* people to be reminded of the "non-word-rememberin' mofo" from the Big Hit every time you post.

* Be courteous to and respectful of your fellow posters. We're acting on the assumption that you're capable of behaving like a decent person -- please don't prove us wrong.

* Newbie-hazing is *over*, including face-eating. That horse ain't gettin' any deader -- you can stop beating it now. Nobody cares that you've been posting here since before you could take solid foods -- new people are just as welcome here as you were the first time you posted. The best thing you can do for a
newbie is to say hi, point them towards the rules thread, and treat them the same as you would anyone else.

* We don't promote hate here. Racism, homophobia, attacks against other forum members (specific or in general) and the like will not be tolerated.

* Threads will be pruned to stay on-topic. If you have something to say to a poster that doesn't have much to do with the topic at hand, either make a quick side mention of it or take it to e-mail. Also, roleplay doesn't belong anywhere but in the roleplay forum -- please keep it there and out of regular threads.

* If you're having serious personal problems, we're sorry, but we have to ask you to please keep them off the forum. An online messageboard dedicated to a sprite comic is not the place to come for counselling or support. We certainly want you to be able to make friends and to feel welcome here, but please understand that any attention you might get from posting cries for help here won't do anything to help you get better.
Online friends are great, but they can't always be there for you the way people in your real life can.

If you really feel the need to get your problems out of your system by typing them out, we suggest diaryland.com, diary-x.com, pitas.com, deadjournal.com, and livejournal.com as preferable alternatives. They're all free, and almost all of them have some way of making entries private. Remember, though -- a private journal is a good way to blow off steam, but it's no substitute for real-world help.

Please understand that we're not making this rule because we're cold, heartless people -- we're making it because using an online forum as your primary source of attention and support isn't really going to help you in the long run. We want you to get well -- this just isn't the place that will help you do it.

Edited to clarify this rule a little: we're not saying you can't post about things like "my grandmother died today and I'm really upset" or things like that. Like these rules have said before, we want you to make friends here and be able to share what's on your mind. However, "cry for help" posts like "I'm so depressed, I'm going to kill myself tonight if I don't get any replies to this thread" and things in that dramatic vein aren't what we have in mind. This isn't the set of Girl, Interrupted II: The Webbening and you're not Angelina Jolie, so save the Oscar-reel melodrama for your diary.

* Flaming is stupid. It makes you look stupid, it makes your ideas look stupid, it makes your parents look stupid for not choosing a better brand of condom, and you don't want any of that. Take it to e-mail if you must, but be aware that we will ban you if we get enough substantial evidence from our posters
that you've been seriously harrassing them that way.

* Do not link to porn or other adult material on these boards, whether it's in your user avatar or this appendix-bustingly hi-LAR-ious forward you got that makes ASCII cartoon people do the horizontal pants boogie if you scroll through fast enough. The majority of our posters are 18 or over, true, but we also have quite a few younger posters, and we don't want to get in trouble because you just had to have an animated .gif of La Blue Girl doing her freaknasty thing in your sig.

* Finally -- don't take any of this too seriously or personally. Online words are only as real as you allow them to be.

[Viper Daimao]

The Double-Posting Thing: we don't like double-posting because it's kinda spammy and pointlessly takes up space. Double-posting looks kind of like this:

SomeUser: blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah
(posted at 5:15:05 PM)
SomeUser: oh, and blahblahblahblahblahblah too
(posted at 5:15:07 PM)

See? So what you do, if you have something to say right after your first post, is you go back and edit it into the first post using the "edit" button to the bottom right of your message.

If you accidentally double-post something (not likely to happen with this type of messageboard, but you never know), don't worry, we understand that stuff acts funny sometimes. Just go back and delete the extra post, which you can also do by clicking the "edit" button.

The Thread Closing thing: threads will be closed at four pages(around 60 posts). Most "semi-professional" type forums do this already, so although it may seem new and kind of weird to you, it's a tried and tested forum policy in a lot of other places. We started doing it as a bandwidth-saving measure when things were getting tight around here, and kept it on afterwards because it helps keep threads from degenerating into pointless spam-fests when they're past their prime, it's only fair that we try not to hog all the bandwidth here. This policy is final, is not changing anytime in the forseeable future, and arguing about it will only end up annoying all of us. You can start up a new thread after the original is closed if you really think the conversation wasn't finished yet, but most of the time a closed thread has pretty much already served its purpose.

[Mashirosen]

Two more kinda-related things!

* The Thread-Bumping Thing: don't post in a thread just to boost it on the list. Sometimes it takes people a while to notice a new thread. Sometimes a thread just dies for whatever reason. And poop happens -- sometimes people just aren't interested in talking about a subject. Shrug it off and move on.

* The Bumping Up Really Ancient Threads Thing: we haven't been here long enough for this to be a problem yet, but when we have been, y'know, don't do this. If a thread's on the last page of the archives, it's there for a reason. It's dead. This thread is no more! It has ceased to be! This is an ex-thread! If you're just about to pee yourself because you really really really really need to let the world know your opinion on the subject, make a new topic for it. **DO NOT ABUSE THIS BY MAKING NEW TOPICS FOR EVERY DING-DANG THREAD IN THE ARCHIVES OR BAD, NO GOOD, VERY NASTY THINGS WILL HAPPEN.**

[shiney]

And the spam blaster himself makes an appearance. Gasp, shock, awe, etc etc. Hi!

It occurs to me that some people might have no idea what 'spam' is. The forum interpretation. So here, in non-rant form, I will provide you with my interpretation, and how to avoid doing it so as to not piss me off. Or uh, other people . VERY useful information, yes? Agreed.

Spam is, in a word, unnecessary. Of course I'm going to elaborate. Spam is regarded as useless or unnecessary replies to a topic. They can be single word responses which don't contribute, messages that are in support of something and bring in something random that has no relevance, or people just trying to be funny without contributing.

An example would be me saying I hate such and such (I am using a recent actual occurrence as my example) and someone saying "Well don't hate me just cause that's all I do I mean it is my name lol"

Some people might not view that as spammy. But fact is it doesn't contribute, it's not really funny, and it has no place in a serious discussion. Off topic replies are stupid as well. "I hate this" "I do too, and here's a good reason why" "Myself as well, and here's something else pertinent" "I also hate that, and french people"

Now everyone hates french people, but what does that have to do with the conversation? Nothing at all. And often as not conversations derail after that, because everyone is commenting on french people. It could be said that is the normal flow of conversations, but on the internet, specifically in forums I moderate or nazi-ify, that's not how things go. Serious discussions stay on topic and digress into things that are related, not off the wall crap.

It's hard to judge exactly what is spam and what is not if you are the offending party, especially if you are new, so I have drawn up a few short guidelines.

- If it is unrelated to the topic, it is spam

- If it is something trying to be funny in a serious topic, it is spam

- If it is a flame of any kind it is spam

- If there are excessive symbols (OMGLOL!#@!@HFEWK@#12``1) it is spam

- Really, if you look at it before clicking submit, and see that it's not a good post, it is spam. Common sense, people.

If the tone of a topic is goofy, you obviously will have more leeway. If it's a topic that's stayed on topic and doesn't have many weird influences, best to stick to the straight and narrow. It takes common sense and a tiny bit of thought. Not too hard really.

I'm not saying no spam ever. I am probably a spam nazi but I don't want to turn these forums into a boring place where fun is sucked into a black hole and all that exist are neo-hippies with pallid demeanors, striped shirts and black berets, sipping their latté and snapping for applause in some poetry club in hoity-toityville. I like having fun as much as the next guy. I just don't like looking stupid while having fun, and it upsets me when I read a post that makes me think "this guy is stupid". I don't want to think that about members of this forum, you know?

These rules seem rather direct but I don't expect people to try to circumvent them by quoting them verbatim. Don't get around my anti-spam policies, please. Just use your common sense. Don't piss people off. Play nice with others. Please keep the topics actually on topic. Pleeeease. If that can happen, Shiney will be happey. And maybe the others will too.

[shiney]

Addition concerning a post I encountered recently. It was in a scenario like this.

Poster 1: Has anyone even seen this movie, blah blah? I something something etc yadda hoorah.

Poster 2: no

The post submitted by Bachelor #2 was so..ugh. Right. So I'm going to institute the policy of no single word responses at all. And that there will be no circumventing this policy by adding garbage words and trying to get me on semantics. It won't work.

When you fight me with semantics, the banhammer descends. "Hmmm..squishies."

Please don't force my hand. I don't ask for too much. Just complete, blind obedience.

[Mashirosen]

Another addition (mostly because this kind of thing is really annoying, but also to keep Shiney from beating me I MEAN SHHH YOU DIDN'T HEAR THAT): this is the 8-Bit Theater forum, not TeenChat4U 10. If you really want to try to make a luuuuv connection with another poster, please keep all that "A/S/L LOLOLOL????" stuff to private messages instead of interrupting threads with your smooveness. None of the rest of us care. :P

(And of course, if a person keeps pestering you with that kind of PM long after you've clearly expressed no interest, please let a mod know so we can do something about it.)

[Viper Daimao]

Lets face it guys, we have over a thousand members, and over 5,500 posts; thats a lot of discussion going on. Naturally, its difficult for us to read every single post in every single thread. and even then some might slip through the cracks.

Thats why I want to make sure everyone knows about and feels free to use the "Report Post" feature of these forums. At the top right of each post, is a button with an exclamation mark on it, this is the "Report Post" button. If you see a post thats a blatant spam, an obvious flame, or contans inappropriate material, click that link, and an email will be sent out to all us mods, alerting us to the post in question.

Thank you, and remember, we're all members of this community, and thus, all have a responsiblity to make it a better place.

Originally Posted by RaiRai on 17-08-2004

I'd also ask that people do not abuse the report post feature. One user earned himself a banning this morning by reporting the same post over and over saying it was 'problematic' where obviously he was just being a jackass.

If you have a valid reason for reporting, do so. If you feel it can be sorted out in the thread by giving advice, do so. But please don't abuse the feature. Thanks.