I Wanna Be The Guy: The Movie: The Game: The Picture Book

[Zilla]

^ try right-clicking, properties, setting it in compatibility mode to be compatible with Windows 98 (best option, apparently).

I've put this game down for now, I'm stuck on one of those bastard Megaman disappearing platform parts. Once I get past that though, I just need to beat the Klown Kopter and I'm on my way to The Guy!

[Arhra]

I WANNA BE THE GUY: THE MOVIE: THE GAME: THE PICTURE BOOK: THE HATEFUL MOON
As hinted at by the title of this update, now we will be up against the infinite horror that is the Moon.


Behold the face of the enemy!

Sure the Moon looks innocent enough, but I tell you now, it is filled with pure evil and plotting against us!

To continue, we leap off. I Wanna Be The Guy is all about leaps of faith.


AAAAAAA! I'm on fire! Damn you Moon! You tricked me!


Perhaps jumping from low orbit was a bad idea?


OR MAYBE WE JUST WEREN'T JUMPING HARD ENOUGH!


Well, at least it's an impressive way to die.


Wait, we might have a chance!


I'M OK!

Ah water, quencher of flame and slightly softer thing to hit than the ground. Interesting enough, you won't drown if you stay in the water.

I know! I am as shocked as you are.


NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

As you may have noticed, there is an exit to the left in this room. It actually takes you back to the starting room - there's a tunnel on the right similar to the one for the secret path.

I've never bothered using it, seeing it's easier to go straight through Tyson and then come down here.

So, to the right we go.


Assuming you can dodge spikes that shoot Delicious Fruit at you.

Wow, it's gone through the Kid like a cannonball...

Fortunately, like most Delicious Fruits, this one can be tricked.


Of course, once you trigger it and land on the safe bit of platform after the spike, lightning strikes to punish you.


What a mess...

Sniff, poor The Kid... he never even had a chance.

Thankfully, there's no more hidden death traps after this, simply Delicious Fruit waiting for you in plain sight.


This room, looks like we just have a few Delicious Fruits to dodge and then we climb up to the top right.


Dodge those fruit! Dodge!


Yes, that was the Moon.

Didn't I tell you it was my arch nemesis? Sure you laughed then, but who's laughing now?!

Probably the Moon...


As you can see in this diagram, the Moon has an extremely unusual orbit that causes it to periodically fall out of the sky and crush protagonists to death.

Unfortunately, we don't have four friendly giants to catch it for us so we can go to the tree inside the Moon annd fight an evil mask.


Having satisfied its thirst for the Kid's blood, the Moon then burrows into the ground, re-emerges somewhere in Nevada and returns to its place in the heavens.

So let's try again with a little more caution, eh?


Dodged the Moon, oh yeah.

Wait, what is it doing?!


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!


We've managed to dodge the rampaging Moon again.

In your face, Moon!


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Luckily, the Moon can't get us in here and eventually it gives up and goes away...

For now.

Let's get out of here before it comes back.


Zelda, Zelda, OOOH! OOOH!

Let's take a look up in that little hole first.


Save point, awesome!

And a free sword!


Words to live by.


Anyway, like all enemies who walk over spike pits that are otherwise impossible to cross for us, we can just sit on Link's funny little hood and ride him across.


It gets to him.


The trick is to lure Link into attacking early. He'll always attack at a certain point if you're within reach, so you have to jump over the spike with a single jump, drop enough to make him attack and then use your second jump immediately to avoid STABBITY DOOM.

Then you can ride him to the end.


Link, you're an asshole.


And we're safely to the other side! I'm sure you can figure out how.

The next section is a different theme again. It has quite a bit of stuff we haven't seen before. Now, there could be a delay until I update again, because this area also contains perhaps the most frustrating and difficult section in the entire game.

If you've played I Wanna Be The Guy, I'm sure you know what I'm referring to.

Is there going to be a big delay until the next update?

FIND OUT IN THE NEXT EXCITING UPDATE OF I WANNA BE THE GUY: THE MOVIE: THE GAME: THE PICTURE BOOK: THE GHOSTS AND THE GHOULIES

[Jagos]

Dear Goodness GRACIOUS I hated the Ghouls and Ghosts section... >_<

[Loyal]

Oooh yeah. The next section I could never get past. :\

[Kerensky287]

Yeah... I just got past it recently. It took me about 125 deaths to do so, but in a moment of zen, I succeeded in getting past that particular set of spikes!

And then the tombstone at the end crushed me.

Another 100 deaths later and I got through fine though.

Oh, by the way! I think I found an invisible savepoint somewhere... or maybe I ran into a glitch. Either way, it made that whole segment with the zombies and the moving platforms with no clearance next to spikes so much easier without having to do the previous part again.

[BitVyper]

By the time I made it past the spikes, I was actually able to pretty much do it with my eyes closed. That seems to be the way it goes for quite a few rooms in this game.

[Arhra]

I WANNA BE THE GUY: THE MOVIE: THE GAME: THE PICTURE BOOK: THE GHOSTS AND THE GHOULIES

As mentioned before, we're now onto a very, very hard section of I Wanna Be The Guy. So hard , in fact, that it has never been completed. Not even by people who have finished the entire game.

I really wasn't looking forwards to it.

Fittingly enough, it's themed after Ghosts n' Goblins/Ghouls n' Ghosts, which were infamous for their difficulty.

On the plus side, if you can get through here, nothing in the game should stop you! If you can't, well...

TIME TO MAKE YOU FEEL BAD!


Getting out of the Zelda cave brings us to this lovely rustic setting. Although you can not hear it, there is music. Spooky music. That is because this place is spooky. That is why it does not have happy music. For it is not a happy place.

It eats happiness.

As proof of this, you can see the Moon up there, recovering its strength.

I assume this stage craps bones or ghosts.


A key point to keep in mind with I Wanna Be The Guy is it does not like you. The ground itself will shift to screw you over here.


Not to mention the ghoulish hands that come out of trees.

They'll kill you, you know.


Since they bob up and down, you can just run under them. I suppose you could just jump over them, if you were some sort of wuss, but you won't always have that option, so you might as well suck it up and get used to it.


Ah, the legendary WORST ROOM IN THE ENTIRE FRICKING GAME.

This is no understatement.

You can see that corridor lined with spikes at the bottom? That is what will kill you, over and over again.

It is not a happy corridor.


You see, while it does not move at first, once you enter it, it will start moving up and down.


And it will go faster the further along you are.

I do not believe these pictures can adequately describe just why this corridor is so bad. Allow me to describe more thoroughly what will slowly turn your heart into a twisted, black, shriveled lump. I have heard it generally takes people a few hundred attempts to get through. I believe I lucked out and it may have been as low as sixty for me this time.

It starts as such a simple thing. All you have to do is run under that first spike and jump over the first bottom one. You do have to be careful you don't jump to late, or you may bump into the very edge of the spike where it emerges from the ground and make The Kid explode into a messy spray of organs. It is easier to do than you might think.

This causes the spikes to start moving. It starts with them moving downwards, making it easier for you to jump over that row of two spikes. However, once past them it speeds up. The top and bottom rows of spikes are also slightly out of synch, which may complicate things slightly for you. For the next section, you need to jump over the spike while it is retracting, then pause for a second and run forwards again as the top spike moves out of the way. If you're a little off, you'll die, either from running into the spike in front of you or the spike behind coming up and stabbing you. At the merest contact, all the Kid's blood will fragile little body and there'll be blood and guts everywhere and he'll die and you'll have to start over. And then you get to come back and die again. Yes, that's right. Die. Die die die die die.

Finally you position yourself in the less than generous space between the last two spikes. Of course, as they're still partially retracted at this point, you have to be very precise, or the rising edge will get you like a landshark. The speed these things are moving at now is mind boggling. They're almost as fast as your jump.

The things are chompnig up and down like horrible teeth and you have to work out how to get through that. The time has to be right on, or else you'll hit a spike that's in the wrong position and die. It's just ridiculous that they expect you to get through this thing! Just trying to time a jump as practice is nerve wracking. And then you try it and The Kid pops like a water balloon that's been stabbed with a needle except instead of being full of water he's full of blood and there's blood everywhere with his little head flying off like a popped cork and why can't I just shoot it? I want to kill it with bullets! BULLETS! Die spike corridor die! I hate you! You and your ups and downs and your fancy spikes. Your spikes are worthless. This corridor is a travesty. This place is hateful. Blood. This place. I hate it. This place. Hate it. This place. Hateful. This place. Disappear!

HATE.


That tombstone at the end falls over and crushes you as well.

I should also add that this is the first tombstone that will do that.


Although the worst is over, they added a save point after the spike corridor.

Interestingly bats can't kill you. What they can do is push you off plaforms and into spikes or fruit or tombstones or creepy hands.

Oddly, there's no creepy hand in that there tree.


And after the bat, nothing else pops out to kill you!


This section is also annoying, in its own special way.

This is also the first place we've seen zombies. The problem is they just keep spawning, more and more burrowing out of their cold graves. And 'killing' one only makes it burrow again. They tend to occaisonally bury and re-emerge somewhere else too.

I have to warn you, those moving platforms seem to be a bit buggy - you're likely to fall off if you move too close to the edge. And 'too close' is quite vaguely defined!

Oh, and look at the Moon.


Also, there is a love of cruelty here.


Now, the best way to not die involves not jumping off the platform. Instead, you move subtly from side to side. Complicated, as I said, by the platform being buggy.


RARGH! FLARGLE!


Let's have a quick refresher on everything that tried to kill you crossing to this side.


Of course, if you die after you've saved halfway, everything comes back. This makes crossing the top... interesting.


At the end of all the DANGERNESS! That last cluster of three Delicious Fruits shoots sideways by the way.


Hmm, so all I have to do is get through the zombies? And climb the platforms while avoiding the spikes?

Yes, that's all you have to do! That doesn't stop it being painful.


ESPECIALLY THIS BIT!

In particular, that last jump. Tight clearances.


Remember: the ground hates you, moving to screw you over!


SAFE!


Hmm, a small corridor filled with zombies where you can't jump and if you're not careful will kill yourself jumping out? Could it get any worse?


You've gotta hand it to IWBTG, it knows what could be worse.


Safely through the spikes of annoyance and tree and zombies.


NOOO! DAMN YOU MOON!


NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

What mysteries will we find in the Moon's deadly trap?

FIND OUT IN THE NEXT EXCITING UPDATE OF I WANNA - WAIT!


Bonus Power-Up Content!
There's actually another power-up hidden away in this stage as well. Let's take a look.


A pistol grip!

My, won't that be fun getting to?


Eh, it's a living.

[Jagos]

How do you get to that room?

[Arhra]

Moon magic and witchcraft.

[Revising Ocelot]

What's the difference between Save boxes and Wuss boxes?