Intellectual Whores

[Tydeus]

Need a definition?

Originally Posted by intellectualwhores.com

In 1978 the great Woody Allen published a book called Getting Even. In it was a story called "The Whore of Mensa." It was about men who were dating beautiful but stupid women, and had to hire whores to talk to them about intellectual topics. Although the term is not used in the story, I've always thought of that as an "intellectual whore." So this planted the seed of the term.

Later in life I started encountering a certain breed of woman. To begin with they never wanted to sleep with me. Now, this by itself is okay--not all women will want to sleep with me. However, this particular breed wanted to have me around to talk to and to make them laugh, because I was so "entertaining" and "funny." Some of them went so far as to describe our relationship as that of "friends", and a few even had the audacity to talk to me about problems they had with other guys.

Later I realized what had been happening. I was being used for their amusement and entertainment while they were busy fucking outlaw bikers. Of course they weren't interested in me sexually; they were too busy with guys with forearm tattoos. But apparently they still needed some intellectual stimulation. That's when they would call me with an opening line like "Tell me something interesting." or some other not-to-subtle line. I recalled the term intellectual whore and applied it to this situation. These women had made me into their intellectual whore.

Here is the whole site. Grats to Praetor Zorak for bringing this up in the First Date Psychosis thread.

I figured this subject was so important that it warranted its own thread -- after all, we're a bunch of anime-watching, FF-playing, Dungeon-Mastering, card-collecting, Transformers-fondling, goddamn nerds. I think we probably, as a group, have the highest percentage of Intellectual Whores. We are basically the opposite of Outlaw Bikers ("The archetype of everything women say they don't want but really do. And you will know him by his forearm tattoo, 'street smarts,' weed connection, domestic violence convictions, and the fact that the women you are an intellectual whore to are always complaining about him to you before they go off to fuck him, or leave you in a bar to go home with him.").

So, feel free to post about your own personal trials and tribulations as an IW, and definitely feel free to post pictures of the girls to whom you whore your intellects. Here's mine:



In case you didn't notice, she's paralyzingly hot. Let's rub salt in the wound, shall we? Well, she's a complete whore. A self-admitted, unapologetic whore. I salute her self-acceptance, and did so quite vigorously back when I thought this meant she would actually be willing to fuck me. I was, in fact, mistaken. Despite the fact that we've been friends for four years, we share everything -- including a disdain of most other people -- and our personalities are eerily similar (oh, and did I forget to mention that she's declared me "delicious" and in fact request photos of me, au naturuel?), and that, for a good 3.5 of those years (back when I lived in Oregon, and we were 1,200 miles apart), she said that she would fuck me -- well, she won't fuck me.

But we're not done yet! Her boyfriend is a relentless dumbass, whom she "wants to hire a hitman to kill," and who "makes her want to throw up when we have sex." They've been together for just over a year. She cheats on him without remorse (and he's so whipped that he doesn't care, but, honestly, would you? Look at the picture again, just to make sure), just, not with me. Even though she has said to me, verbatim, that I'm hotter than he is.

And she's basically admitted to the fact that all her relationships are emotionally stunted horror-stories, and that we'd be perfect for each other...but I'm still her goddamn intellectual whore. I've tried to jump the Ladder probably a good dozen times, and she kicks me in the head ever damn time. But, you know, I stick around because hey, if I ever make it over to that other ladder....

Oh, and, obviously, just for reference -- the Ladder Theory is of course a stereotypical, over-generalizing bunch of bullshit (although humorous), but I think the idea of the Intellecual Whore is indeed sound -- I've enough personal experience with it to believe in that.

[Fifthfiend]

"Intellectual whores"? You're flattering yourself dude, I mean this is just for starters, but whores get paid. At best you're, like, a slut who can't keep his legs closed.

I mean she's a good lookin' girl and all but there's lots of good-lookin' girls in the world, so if bein' 'just friends' or whatever with this one is killing your soul then go find one who will fuck you.

[Elminster_Amaur]

Sound? My hairy white ass it is. "Intellectual whores"? You're flattering yourself dude, I mean this is just for starters, but whores get paid. At best you're, like, a slut who can't keep his legs closed.

Not only do whores get paid, they get laid.

[Fifthfiend]

Well I mean supposedly we're talking "intellectual whores," here, alls I'm saying is that would presumably mean at some point someone's actually putting a fuckin' dollar into your hands at some point for your impromptu analysis of Roman history as interpreted via the lyrics of Belle and Sebastian, or whatever fuckin' ever.

[Elminster_Amaur]

I would imagine that an "intellectual whore" is just another name for the infoprenuer. Y'know, someone who sells information to less intellectual people for 39 dollars for a 13 page "special report" that's extremely shallow and doesn't go into detail, or 500 dollars for a "home study course" that is entirely made up of audio cds or mp3s, because the people purchasing are too stupid to be able to understand written word, or EXTREMELY busy people.

What Tydeus describes is more like girl-to-girl talk. That makes Tydeus the best "girl-friend" of this "hot girl". Which means he's not the token ugly one. I suppose that's one bit of good news, 'eh?

[Tydeus]

Originally Posted by fifthfiend

"Intellectual whores"? You're flattering yourself dude, I mean this is just for starters, but whores get paid. At best you're, like, a slut who can't keep his legs closed.

I mean she's a good lookin' girl and all but there's lots of good-lookin' girls in the world, so if bein' 'just friends' or whatever with this one is killing your soul then go find one who will fuck you.

Well, we are actually really good friends, and I enjoy being friends with her, so, I wouldn't want to give that up, but, just, damn.

And what, you don't have any similar experiences to share with the board, Fifth? I find that hard to believe...

[The Kneumatic Pnight]

Originally Posted by Tydeus

And what, you don't have any similar experiences to share with the board, Fifth? I find that hard to believe...

I, on the other hand, am not surprised that there aren't people out there clamoring to experience Fifthfiend's keen intellect.

Meanwhile, both even vaguely similar situations I've experienced were aborted, upon later inspection, purely by my own imbeciloidness and blinditude.

So, I am, at the very least, a self-made man thus far.

[PyrosNine]

Wasn't there an intellectual whore in Planescape: Torment?

I think the best term is "Intellectual Slut" who's just happily dishing out info to whomever comes their way, without worrying that they'll pick up some sort of nasty information as they go along, infecting others with it unknowingly.

Like fanboy rumors....(Kingdum hearsts on ma Wee!)

I think the problem for these guys, is that they aren't expressing their manliness enough around these girls, leading them to believe either consciously or subconsciously that these guys either aren't interested or that they are gay. These guys need to express their desires, or at least do something towards girls in their speech or actions that isn't neutral in the ways of love and hate.

Also, on the subject of an intellectual whores, $10 bucks gets you a riveting discussion on moral philosophy. Also, I'll be wearing glasses, a schoolgirl outfit, and checkered socks. No righties.

[Elminster_Amaur]

If fifth doesn't wanna share, I'll share. I've never been an "intellectual whore" before. The last "girlfriend" (if you could call someone that in 8th grade) I had was...uh...7 years ago. I've gotten slightly interested in some girls, but, generally, either I'll find that I'm too shallow (i.e.: male-mind: non-linguistic, highly subject to physical beauty) to be attracted to the ones with similar interests near me, or I find that the ones that look attractive are either very bitchy or have habits that I have ethical conflicts with, such as binge drinking. I almost thought I had found me one to hang-on to for at least a short while, until I realized that her idea of a good time was drinking every night. I mean, how bad is it when you have a hang-over on your 21st birthday?

[Tydeus]

Originally Posted by Elminster_Amaur

If fifth doesn't wanna share, I'll share. I've never been an "intellectual whore" before. The last "girlfriend" (if you could call someone that in 8th grade) I had was...uh...7 years ago. I've gotten slightly interested in some girls, but, generally, either I'll find that I'm too shallow (i.e.: male-mind: non-linguistic, highly subject to physical beauty) to be attracted to the ones with similar interests near me, or I find that the ones that look attractive are either very bitchy or have habits that I have ethical conflicts with, such as binge drinking. I almost thought I had found me one to hang-on to for at least a short while, until I realized that her idea of a good time was drinking every night. I mean, how bad is it when you have a hang-over on your 21st birthday?

Yeah -- it would really be fantastic to just not care about physical appearance; it would make everything a lot easier.