PREVIOUSLY ON BLACK DYNAMITE

Magus · 07-17-2012, 10:29 AM

In a stunning debut, it's Black Dynamite v. Michael Jackson! Who will reign supreme over the hearts and minds of the community?

If you enjoyed the film Black Dynamite, this is a pretty great follow-up. It maintains the blaxploitation parody the original film while telling its own unique story built on pop humor and its own created universe. Frankly, it's pretty great.

This week's episode begins with an influx of unwanted ninjas into the neighborhood, wreaking havoc on the community. Black Dynamite realizes this is all yet another nefarious plot of the fiendish Dr. Wu, and heads with his crew to detonate ninja headquarters with, what else, dynamite, and put a stop to their infamy once and for all. He, Bullhorn, and Honey Bee rig the charges, set them off, and hightail it to the vehicle--but what is this? Their getaway driver Cream Corn is nowhere to be found! In the ensuing battle with a bunch of pissed-off ninjas, Black Dynamite spies Cream Corn on a nearby TV screen. He's skipped out on them to appear on Soul Train!

It turns out the Jackson Five are the musical number on tonight's episode of Soul Train. "Man, if I'd known Michael Jackson was going to be on Soul Train I might have skipped out on you too, Black Dynamite!" interjects Honey Bee. As the lights come up, we see that the Jackson Five are variously bandaged and beaten and bruised, except for young Michael. One of them screws up the act, and Joe Jackson standing in the audience facepalms in despair. But Michael saves the day with his signature dance moves.

Cut to their dressing room, and the other Jacksons are all being mercilessly beaten by their father, Joe Jack--wait a second! Michael is slapping the shit out of them, including Joe! I about lost it. Michael tells Joe that one of them has to die and tries to get Joe to do it. "No, Michael! Please!" Michael has no patience. "It's the only way these motherfuckers are going to learn. Somebody's got to die!" but Joe finally snaps and pulls out a gun. "No! This music has been going on long enough! The magic and the madness ends right now!" Joe levels the gun at Michael's head. "And to think, Michael Jackson, I treated you like you was my own son!"

Cream Corn finds his way to backstage, looking to meet young Michael and the rest of the Jackson Five. He sees the other Jacksons running away and rushes in just in time to catch the bullet in his buttocks, sparing Michael Jackson's life.

Michael Jackson visits Cream Corn in the hospital and begins to warp his mind, and set in motion his evil plan. Can Black Dynamite stop this child of the damned before all is lost? Tune in to find out!

Magus · 07-17-2012, 01:02 PM

If anyone is interested in the original unaired pilot wherein Black Dynamite battles a gang of disgruntled muppets, it can still be found here (I couldn't find it on Adult Swim.com):

NOTE IT'S NSFW

http://vimeo.com/33831946

Aerozord · 07-17-2012, 01:17 PM

what can I say, I'm a sucker for shows that have fake "previously on" openings

Magus · 07-17-2012, 01:19 PM

Yo I think I ninja'd in the pilot there in that post before yours, if you want to watch that. They took it off the Adult Swim website so I don't know if it's going to be around forever.

I have no idea what "Vimeo" is, though, so if that's like some kinda dumb virus-laden site I apologize in advance to everyone.

Red Fighter 1073 · 07-17-2012, 10:02 PM

What is... I don't even... This show is AMAZING hahaha. Has it always been on Adult Swim or did it just premiere this past Sunday?

Also, if you were wondering, Vimeo is basically a less popular, less used Youtube. Kind of like Bing vs. Google.

Magus · 07-18-2012, 10:11 PM

It just premiered this past Sunday, but the (live-action) movie came out back in...2009? Anyway the movie was a pretty hilarious send-up of blaxploitation/kung-fu films from the '70s so I was pretty stoked when I heard they were making a cartoon, especially with Michael Jai White reprising the role of Black Dynamite.

PyrosNine · 07-19-2012, 09:44 PM

I watched that pilot and my eyes came home to the station and exploded, because that was awesomely horribly awesome and everything I ever wanted in a show. That pilot alone, if printed upon a DVD or even a Betamax, would already warrant $70 of my money.

The ho-shit quotient was higher than a kite stuck to the international space station that has somehow broken free from earths' gravity and sailing towards Jupiter at superstellar speeds.

Lines were crossed once, twice, three times, and if it had ended on any other note than it did it would have not be Black Dynamite.

It's like a Boondocks + Excel Saga + Axe Cop x Black Dynamite, which maths out to Black Dynamite^2 + Garterbelt + McNinja.

I was just thinking the other day about the sudden jump in quality 'toons on Cartoon Network and Disney, and this is just a second cake of Devil's Food stacked on top of the frosting of your Red Velvet.

I was about to consider being stressed or troubled with stuff in my life, but then I watched that shit and now I am a believer in life! I have something to live for, other than Sun Drop!

MUST SEE MORE. MORE!

Aerozord · 07-23-2012, 01:54 AM

I love the batman logic when they were trying to figure out who was behind the murders. This show is definitely promising

07-17-2012, 10:29 AM	#1
Magus Archer and Armstrong vs. the World Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 7,164	PREVIOUSLY ON BLACK DYNAMITE In a stunning debut, it's Black Dynamite v. Michael Jackson! Who will reign supreme over the hearts and minds of the community? If you enjoyed the film Black Dynamite, this is a pretty great follow-up. It maintains the blaxploitation parody the original film while telling its own unique story built on pop humor and its own created universe. Frankly, it's pretty great. This week's episode begins with an influx of unwanted ninjas into the neighborhood, wreaking havoc on the community. Black Dynamite realizes this is all yet another nefarious plot of the fiendish Dr. Wu, and heads with his crew to detonate ninja headquarters with, what else, dynamite, and put a stop to their infamy once and for all. He, Bullhorn, and Honey Bee rig the charges, set them off, and hightail it to the vehicle--but what is this? Their getaway driver Cream Corn is nowhere to be found! In the ensuing battle with a bunch of pissed-off ninjas, Black Dynamite spies Cream Corn on a nearby TV screen. He's skipped out on them to appear on Soul Train! It turns out the Jackson Five are the musical number on tonight's episode of Soul Train. "Man, if I'd known Michael Jackson was going to be on Soul Train I might have skipped out on you too, Black Dynamite!" interjects Honey Bee. As the lights come up, we see that the Jackson Five are variously bandaged and beaten and bruised, except for young Michael. One of them screws up the act, and Joe Jackson standing in the audience facepalms in despair. But Michael saves the day with his signature dance moves. Cut to their dressing room, and the other Jacksons are all being mercilessly beaten by their father, Joe Jack--wait a second! Michael is slapping the shit out of them, including Joe! I about lost it. Michael tells Joe that one of them has to die and tries to get Joe to do it. "No, Michael! Please!" Michael has no patience. "It's the only way these motherfuckers are going to learn. Somebody's got to die!" but Joe finally snaps and pulls out a gun. "No! This music has been going on long enough! The magic and the madness ends right now!" Joe levels the gun at Michael's head. "And to think, Michael Jackson, I treated you like you was my own son!" Cream Corn finds his way to backstage, looking to meet young Michael and the rest of the Jackson Five. He sees the other Jacksons running away and rushes in just in time to catch the bullet in his buttocks, sparing Michael Jackson's life. Michael Jackson visits Cream Corn in the hospital and begins to warp his mind, and set in motion his evil plan. Can Black Dynamite stop this child of the damned before all is lost? Tune in to find out! __________________ The Valiant Review

07-17-2012, 01:02 PM	#2
Magus Archer and Armstrong vs. the World Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 7,164	If anyone is interested in the original unaired pilot wherein Black Dynamite battles a gang of disgruntled muppets, it can still be found here (I couldn't find it on Adult Swim.com): NOTE IT'S NSFW http://vimeo.com/33831946 __________________ The Valiant Review Last edited by Magus; 07-17-2012 at 01:18 PM.

07-17-2012, 01:17 PM	#3
Aerozord So we are clear Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Former murder capital of the world Posts: 13,824	what can I say, I'm a sucker for shows that have fake "previously on" openings __________________ "don't hate me for being a heterosexual white guy disparaging slacktivism, hate me for all those murders I've done."

07-17-2012, 01:19 PM	#4
Magus Archer and Armstrong vs. the World Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 7,164	Yo I think I ninja'd in the pilot there in that post before yours, if you want to watch that. They took it off the Adult Swim website so I don't know if it's going to be around forever. I have no idea what "Vimeo" is, though, so if that's like some kinda dumb virus-laden site I apologize in advance to everyone. __________________ The Valiant Review

07-17-2012, 10:02 PM	#5
Red Fighter 1073 Rocky Wrench Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 1,351	What is... I don't even... This show is AMAZING hahaha. Has it always been on Adult Swim or did it just premiere this past Sunday? Also, if you were wondering, Vimeo is basically a less popular, less used Youtube. Kind of like Bing vs. Google. __________________ My Sprite Sheet/Mafia Roles

07-18-2012, 10:11 PM	#6
Magus Archer and Armstrong vs. the World Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 7,164	It just premiered this past Sunday, but the (live-action) movie came out back in...2009? Anyway the movie was a pretty hilarious send-up of blaxploitation/kung-fu films from the '70s so I was pretty stoked when I heard they were making a cartoon, especially with Michael Jai White reprising the role of Black Dynamite. __________________ The Valiant Review

07-19-2012, 09:44 PM	#7
PyrosNine Zettai Hero Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: A figment of my own imagination Posts: 6,103	I watched that pilot and my eyes came home to the station and exploded, because that was awesomely horribly awesome and everything I ever wanted in a show. That pilot alone, if printed upon a DVD or even a Betamax, would already warrant $70 of my money. The ho-shit quotient was higher than a kite stuck to the international space station that has somehow broken free from earths' gravity and sailing towards Jupiter at superstellar speeds. Lines were crossed once, twice, three times, and if it had ended on any other note than it did it would have not be Black Dynamite. It's like a Boondocks + Excel Saga + Axe Cop x Black Dynamite, which maths out to Black Dynamite^2 + Garterbelt + McNinja. I was just thinking the other day about the sudden jump in quality 'toons on Cartoon Network and Disney, and this is just a second cake of Devil's Food stacked on top of the frosting of your Red Velvet. I was about to consider being stressed or troubled with stuff in my life, but then I watched that shit and now I am a believer in life! I have something to live for, other than Sun Drop! MUST SEE MORE. MORE! __________________ Pyrosnine.blogspot.com: An experimental blog of writing. Updated possibly daily. Possibly. A fair chance. Current Works for reading: War Between them, Karma Police. PyrosNine: Weirdo Magnet Extraordinaire!

07-23-2012, 01:54 AM	#8
Aerozord So we are clear Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Former murder capital of the world Posts: 13,824	I love the batman logic when they were trying to figure out who was behind the murders. This show is definitely promising __________________ "don't hate me for being a heterosexual white guy disparaging slacktivism, hate me for all those murders I've done."