Tell Me Your Headcanons

[Kim]

For any media, including games.

(Headcanons being your own personal canon for a work or franchise or character or whatever)

The thing I have the most headcanons for is Metroid, more specifically Samus.

My Samus is closer to her original incarnation than her short, scrawny Other M one, tho I also think of her as havin lovehandles. She spends all her free time loungin around in her ship in just a tank top and panties. Her ship is a mess. Wires and cables all tangled up, and instead of a bed she has a pile of blankets and dirty laundry as her nest.

She eats mostly microwaveable food or gets quick meals from space drive-thrus at like Space McDonalds or whatever. She takes forever to throw things away so there's a lot of loose candy wrappers and empty Space McDonald's bags lying around. She has a ratty old couch that she chills out on and watches TV on. She mostly just watches old VHS tapes of 80s anime. Her TV is from the late eighties too.

When she's really bored, she'll sometimes hit up a bar and fool around with someone, then never call them again. She doesn't care about gender or even if their human. Just if they seem fun.

Once every couple weeks she'll do dishes and clean up a bit, but it doesn't last long.

Samus smokes a couple cigarettes a day. She'll smoke while on missions too, but if anyone else is on the mission with her they always hassle her about it.

She also drinks, always buying the cheapest beer she can find and always regretting it.

She only really gets her missions through the federation, so she has lots of free time between the important stuff. If a mission sounds boring or she's just not in the mood, she won't even respond to the request.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

Event Horizon is a 40k prequel.

The Thrawn/Empire trilogy is the true sequel to the Star Wars series.

And DMC2 didn't happen!

That is all.

[Shyria Dracnoir]

The alt-universe Bruce Wayne seen at the end of the pre-Crisis "To Kill A Legend" is specifically the Bruce Wayne/Batman of either the TV series or the 'Batman '66' comics.

[mauve]

And DMC2 didn't happen!

I think that's EVERYONE'S headcanon.

Arkham Origins takes place in an alternate universe from the rest of the Arkham series.

The TF2 mercs are basically immortal as long as they remain on the battlefield, thanks to Mann Co technology. Judging by the in-game character dialogue, most of the mercs are aware of the fact that they are killing the same nine dudes over and over again and watching their same eight companions die over and over again, and some of them have probably put two and two together and figured this out. They are brought back from the dead by an advanced version of the immortality machines developed by Engineer's ancestor for the Mann twins. Current engie Dell knows this and has most likely worked on this respawn generator for his team. Grey Mann has no idea it exists, since he can't figure out how nine people managed to hold back his entire army of robots, and it probably runs on the Mann Co supply of Australium he's been searching for in the comic series.

[Ramary]

Originally Posted by Mauve Mage

The TF2 mercs are basically immortal as long as they remain on the battlefield, thanks to Mann Co technology. Judging by the in-game character dialogue, most of the mercs are aware of the fact that they are killing the same nine dudes over and over again and watching their same eight companions die over and over again, and some of them have probably put two and two together and figured this out. They are brought back from the dead by an advanced version of the immortality machines developed by Engineer's ancestor for the Mann twins. Current engie Dell knows this and has most likely worked on this respawn generator for his team. Grey Mann has no idea it exists, since he can't figure out how nine people managed to hold back his entire army of robots, and it probably runs on the Mann Co supply of Australium he's been searching for in the comic series.

That is quite the head cannon.

A lot of people have this headcannon, but Kirby is basically the most powerful being in existence that has toppled the embodiment of nightmares, multiple entities that could cross dimensions with no issues, and a giant living planet made of FUCKING DARK MATTER. He is also incredibly dangerous, since he will go on a warpath if so much as interrupt his snack time.

[Bells]

If an actor or actress plays a very similar character from one show to another, i assume they are the same character and something epic happened behind the scenes to make them chance their lives.

That means that the goofy dad from The Adventure's of New Christine is actually Agent Coulson's secret Alias, which makes Old Christine actually Elaine Bennes, which technically makes Seinfeld a Marvel Character that is a superman fanboy.

I'm expanding the Marvel Unniverse in unique ways in my head...

[Ryong]

Like most bosses in Dark Souls 2 have a fragment of a soul from a Dark Souls 1 being, I believe that the Emerald Herald has a fragment of Priscilla's soul.

Originally Posted by Bells

If an actor or actress plays a very similar character from one show to another, i assume they are the same character and something epic happened behind the scenes to make them chance their lives.

The Middle shows the family the Janitor from Scrubs had and we never knew. He worked two jobs for a long time.

[Revising Ocelot]

Originally Posted by Mauve Mage

I think that's EVERYONE'S headcannon.

Originally Posted by Ramary

That is quite the head cannon.

A lot of people have this headcannon,

[Grandmaster_Skweeb]

All characters in games are aware of the fact that they're in a game and can't do anything to escape their Sisyphian hell.

It warms my burnt up crusty heart to think about it.

[Solid Snake]

I really like the crazy but surprisingly popular theory that Squall actually dies at the end of Disc 1 of FFVIII, and the rest of the game is basically him fantasizing in his last few seconds of life, or in the afterlife. It is literally Squall's 'Final Fantasy.' It explains a lot of sudden shifts in characterizations in Disc 2, as Squall tries to resolve everything to his benefit. Rinoa suddenly drops Seifer and falls for Squall because he likes her and wants those feelings to be reciprocated; Seifer becomes an unambiguous villain because Squall hates him; Laguna, who Squall had these weird fantasies about, is Squall's father because Squall wants to justify why he had those visions and wants a father figure in his life; Edea is redeemable because Squall wants to redeem her; Squall frequently saves the day and becomes vastly more competent, and meteorically rises through the ranks of leadership despite his personality flaws because that's what he wants; the entire awful "We were all raised in the orphanage!" scene is actually about Squall desperately seeking meaning and seeking to validate his friendships with otherwise random people in his life; he gets to go to the Moon because who the fuck wouldn't want to dream that?

Ultimecia, who suddenly appears as the main antagonist, is actually the personification of death itself, a representation of Squall coming to grips with his actual demise. The kooky scenes of Squall wandering around a barren wasteland after 'defeating' her is actually Squall confronting his soon-to-be-terminated existence, the finality of death and the loss of his soul; he's realizing that this fantasy has been false all along, that he's been deluding himself. Then he's reunited Rinoa and the others, only it's in the afterlife, either actually a heaven where Squall is reunited with the souls of his friends, or some kind of Matrix-style afterlife where Squall gets to chill with versions of the characters in a happy place conjured in his own heart or some shit. I think it just represents Squall making peace with his death, accepting the fantasy for what it was, and either continuing to perpetuate that fantasy for his own peace of mind, or actually ascending to heaven after his time in purgatory.

This interpretation of FFVIII, if it were accurate, would actually elevate FFVIII to one of my favorite FFs, which is certainly why it's just headcanon and not actually true.