The public demands more Wing Wong!

[Meister]

This is what happens when I get no sleep.

Delirious treat: Well, it's not exactly radio material either. Although it would be if I had any say in that...
Delirious treat: John Frusciante all day long.
Delirious treat: Until a mod forms in front of the station with torches and pitchforks.
Delirious treat: *mob
Sasami Android: Heh, right.
Sasami Android: Now I have lots of songs on my gmail....I need to burn a cd of them or something.
Delirious treat: Funny image though... Krylo standing in front of a huge building with a torch in one hand and a pitchfork in the other. And he doesn't get the door open because he has no hand free.
Sasami Android: Naw, he wouldn't come with a pitchfork or a torch. He would rip the door open with his bare hands =P
Delirious treat: I'd put a portier there who says "no entry for either angry mobs or angry mods without torch and pitchfork!"
Delirious treat: He'd be powerless.
Sasami Android: That is way funny!
Sasami Android: *is imagining that and laughing*
Delirious treat: and then he tips the scales by bringing that guy along
Delirious treat: and the dude who plays the Human Torch in the Fantastic Four movie

[Flarecobra]

Um minorly stupid question here: Can there be a guide to get to the 8-but chatroom?

[Bailey]

tell people your aim log in and they will invite you if they see you on

or just im spok and demand to be let in

then again, checking all three normal rooms might be easier

"Chat 8bit" "Nuklear Power" "Eight Bit"

[BlackMageGirl!]

Sure! I can help you there. You can IM me on AIM and I'll let ya in. Btw, my screename is Sasami Android.

[Flarecobra]

No AIM. I use Yahoo.

[Krylo]

Well, the chat is in AIM... so... no chat. You can't get in. Ever. You will be chatless and also worthless for all days of your life.

[Meister]

Register an AIM screenname and get a multi-protocol IM client like Trillian or Miranda. That way you can be online with AIM and Yahoo Messenger at the same time without having too many applications running, and also MSN and ICQ, should the need arise.

[Bob The Mercenary]

Please don't beat me. And you might want to have quick access to a toilet, paper bag, or garbage can.

The infamous assmonkey chat. Enjoy.

 
Part 1

ViktorVonRussia: The chat looks comatose today.
spark0138: It sorta is.
ViktorVonRussia: Then I guess I'll be silent too. So I can fit in and be one of the "cool kids."
spark0138: Sure.
CelesJessa87: you'd better, or else... you won't be cool
CelesJessa87: I guess
BobtheMercenary: you might be shunned
ViktorVonRussia: But of course, if people started talking again, I could be cool for talking.
Krylo Killian: Hey, knock it off, ass monkeys. I'm the only one allowed to flaunt my superior cool-osity by my silence.
CelesJessa87: ass monkeys?
spark0138: Hey, I made silence popular dont ya know.
Krylo Killian: Yes. You're all ass monkeys.
CelesJessa87: what exactly are ass monkeys?
ViktorVonRussia: I haven't been called an ass monkey in years.
ViktorVonRussia: Ah, nostalgia.
CelesJessa87: are they like sea monkeys
Krylo Killian: Monkeys that live in your ass.
BobtheMercenary: mine talks to me ^_^
spark0138: o_O
CelesJessa87: O_O
BobtheMercenary: <<
BobtheMercenary: >>
ViktorVonRussia: Your ass, or the monkey inside?
Krylo Killian: They burrow into the ass crevices of the large and stupid, and, through a careful connection to the ass nerves, control the host body.
CelesJessa87: ahh. sounds... painful
ViktorVonRussia: And apparantly, that's what we are.
spark0138: Don't you know it.
Krylo Killian: Only at first. Then you don't get to feel anything at all. Just watch.
Krylo Killian: But you'd know all about that, wouldn't you? Ass monkey!
BobtheMercenary: *cowers*
CelesJessa87: How would YOU know Krylo?
spark0138: Nah, I just know about being an ass pinata.
CelesJessa87: unless you are an ass monkey too
Krylo Killian: I'm an Ass Monkey-ologist.
BobtheMercenary: brb
ViktorVonRussia: Do you use one of them butt cameras to study them?
spark0138: And more!
ViktorVonRussia: Those things're neat.
CelesJessa87: heheheh
Krylo Killian: Sometimes.
CelesJessa87: they have special butt-cameras?
spark0138: Yerp!
Krylo Killian: Sometimes I just ass rape the infected, and drown the ass monkey.
spark0138: You can find them on Ebay, I'll bet.
ViktorVonRussia: Like for colonoscopies.
Krylo Killian: I then dissect it.
ViktorVonRussia: At least, that's what I think it's called.
spark0138: I'll find one on Ebay right now.
ViktorVonRussia: ...Provided that the ass monkey can't swallow at the rate you, um, inject.
BobtheMercenary: ...
Krylo Killian: Ass monkeys don't really have much of a mouth...
Krylo Killian: They mostly feed by siphoning nutrients off of their hosts.
CelesJessa87: what are ass monkeys made of? You know, girls are made of sugar and spice and whatnot, and boys are made from snips and snails and puppy dog tails....
BobtheMercenary: that explains where my large intestine went
spark0138: Ass monkeys are made of spawned monkeys.
Krylo Killian: Organic tissue. Duh.
CelesJessa87: what ARE snips?
spark0138: I wish I knew.
Krylo Killian: They're a tool
Krylo Killian: Used to cut things.
Krylo Killian: There are aluminum snips, wire snips, etc. etc.
BobtheMercenary: snip snips ^^
spark0138: Well, I can't find an ass camera. There'll be one on ebay soon.
CelesJessa87: ah
CelesJessa87: you actually looked for an ass camera?
Krylo Killian: Maybe he's going to check his ass for monkeys?
spark0138: Yeah, why not?
spark0138: Nothing there really.
BobtheMercenary: mine likes being on camera ^_^
spark0138: Heh.
CelesJessa87: so how do you cure ass monkeys?
spark0138: Have Krylo do it.
Krylo Killian: Anal sex works.
BobtheMercenary: chicken soup
CelesJessa87: O_o
Krylo Killian: So do bleach enemas.
Krylo Killian: And VERY high fiber diets.
CelesJessa87: o_O
spark0138: Those suck.
BobtheMercenary: argh, that would burn soooo bad
Krylo Killian: The ass monkey is immune to most nutrients...
Krylo Killian: and chemicals...
spark0138: Just reach up and grab its tail.
ViktorVonRussia: What about good ol' surgery?
spark0138: Then pull.
Krylo Killian: So if you want to do it by enema you have to use something powerful...
ViktorVonRussia: Cut the bastard out.
BobtheMercenary: wouldn't a good case of the runs get it out?
Krylo Killian: That's dangerous as it can lead to horrible tearing of the intestinal tract.
Krylo Killian: Not necessarily, Bob. They thrive in that.
Krylo Killian: It'd have to be VERY good.
Krylo Killian: Like a whole bottle of milk of magnesia chased by three boxes of ex-lax good.
CelesJessa87: have you ever had Ass monkeys Krylo?
spark0138: Not three, six.
BobtheMercenary: my dad owns a pharmacy, what would you prescribe?
Krylo Killian: Ass sex will beat the ass monkey to death, given enough length and girth, and, once dead, they will release their grip and pass normally.
BobtheMercenary: and the symptoms are?
spark0138: Being an ass.
spark0138: Possible constipation.
Krylo Killian: Trying to remove them while still alive can be dangerous, however, so I advise against the ex-lax route.
Krylo Killian: and yes, being an ass and constipation are two prime examples.
BobtheMercenary: and sticking your penis in their face isn't dangerous?
Krylo Killian: So is finding yourself jumping and screaming randomly, or growing a sudden extreme fondness for unhealthy foods.
spark0138: They'll think it's food, I think.
Krylo Killian: The ass monkeys love grease and fat, and will force you to eat it.
ViktorVonRussia: Mmmm. Sausage.
Krylo Killian: And... again, ass monkeys don't have much of a mouth, really...
BobtheMercenary: interesting
Krylo Killian: And what mouth they have is latched onto the intestinal lining.
Krylo Killian: They're kind of like a lamprey.
CelesJessa87: So how long have you be studying the ass monkey Krylo
Krylo Killian: Ever since I lost my virginity with another man... a man infected.
BobtheMercenary: 1. assmonkey 1. A homosexual man.2. An asshole with the intelligence of a monkey.3. A homosexual man with the intelligence of a monkey being an asshole.4. A total fucking idiot (see fucktard)5. Actual monkey in someone's ass.
ViktorVonRussia: That must have been traumatizing...
CelesJessa87: You're very brave Krylo
Krylo Killian: I... didn't know he was infected at the time.
BobtheMercenary: Found that on urban dictionary
spark0138: That must have been really disturbing.
BobtheMercenary: so, the monkey went through your urethra
Krylo Killian: It was... an ass monkey is about half the size of a human baby...
Krylo Killian: and, once it had been beaten to death...
Krylo Killian: It was rather bloody and fell out.
CelesJessa87: O_o
Krylo Killian: The lack of lube didn't help much either.
spark0138: That musta caused nightmares.
ViktorVonRussia: Then technically, you didn't have anal sex with some guy, it was the monkey.
Krylo Killian: They aren't that big when they infect you, of course. You'd notice that. They infect as babies. About the size of a pencil.
ViktorVonRussia: Since the monkey controlled his movements.
CelesJessa87: *shivers* anyway. so what's the difference between a butt muncher and an ass monkey?
Krylo Killian: yes. I think the monkey was suicidal.
spark0138: A butt muncher is what it sounds.
Krylo Killian: There was a small note attached to it's hand when it fell out.
ViktorVonRussia: It had enough room in there to write?
spark0138: An anus can expand.
CelesJessa87: O_o
Krylo Killian: Apparently so. It used a piece of shit... I didn't read it. I suppose, perhaps, it was just a wrapper of some sort the guy swallowed...
BobtheMercenary: He did have a "stool" to write on, at least
ViktorVonRussia: Yargh! The Pun!
BobtheMercenary: 1. buttmuncher 1. An individual who munches on butts.2. An annoying person who should eat some ass; dirty, stinky, hairy ass.
spark0138: This conversation is disturbing.
Krylo Killian: And the monkey was just too stupid to realize the sex would lead to its death... but I like to think that piece of paper WAS a suicide note.
spark0138: There should be a thread for disturbing convos.
ViktorVonRussia: I think it crossed some kind of line a loooong time ago, Spark.
CelesJessa87: the most disturbing part about it is, we're talking about it so casually
CelesJessa87: like a butt monkey is a real feild of study
Krylo Killian: Now then, ass monkeys, as I was saying before: Stop trying to be cool by copying my quietude.
BobtheMercenary: what a sad life these assmonkeys live
spark0138: I made silence cool, dude.
spark0138: Stop copying me!
Krylo Killian: I was doing silence WAY before you were.
Krylo Killian: Goddamn ass monkey.
spark0138: How long?
Krylo Killian: 22 years.
Ganurath: This is what I first saw when I opened the window:
Ganurath: And the monkey was just too stupid to realize the sex would lead to its death... but I like to think that piece of paper WAS a suicide note.
spark0138: I've been silent for 25.
BobtheMercenary: dude, I just got out of silence rehab
Krylo Killian: You haven't been ALIVE for 25 years!
spark0138: You haven't been alive for 22!
CelesJessa87: well if he wasn't alive, he could be silent
Krylo Killian: Yes I have.
spark0138: ..wait.
ViktorVonRussia: I tried being silent to fit in with the cool kids.
BobtheMercenary: I tried being loud to fit in with the girls...oooooh
spark0138: Whoops, nevermind.
Krylo Killian: Are you trying to say that you scream my name during sex, Bob?
spark0138: Thought you were 18.
BobtheMercenary: people think I want beer when I do that
CelesJessa87: heheheh

[Bob The Mercenary]

...and part 2.

Part 2

spark0138: I probably was a hermit before I was a 15 year old.
BobtheMercenary: wait, if assmonkeys consume waste, what does they're crap look like?
spark0138: They don't dispose.
CelesJessa87: they think you want beer when you scream Krylo's name during sex?
CelesJessa87: that's kinda messed up
BobtheMercenary: Killian...
BobtheMercenary: ^^
ViktorVonRussia: What, is Krylo some new brand of beer?
spark0138: It will be.
BobtheMercenary: Killian's! It's a beer.
CelesJessa87: aah
ViktorVonRussia: I see.
BobtheMercenary: the boards are so boring right now
spark0138: Sorta.
Krylo Killian: *has sex with the boards to liven them up*
CelesJessa87: well don't expect the non-beer-drinking one to know that. I was just imagining that you screaming Krylo's name=beer
BobtheMercenary: haha
BobtheMercenary: Krylo! Krylo! Here's a pint, man.
Krylo Killian: Also... who the hell screams someone's last name during sex?
spark0138: An army general? Who knows.
BobtheMercenary: lol
Krylo Killian: "OH GOD YES, GENERAL LEE! DO ME! DO MY HOT CONFEDERATE ASS!"
CelesJessa87: oh dear. why did that make me laugh... ^^;
BobtheMercenary: RELIEVE ME OF THIS ASSMONKEY!
CelesJessa87: How do you expect me to take my US history test tomorrow now?
Krylo Killian: Write that in the margins?
spark0138: How do you expect me to sleep well at night tonight?
Krylo Killian: ...Masturbate to General Lee fucking a hot confederate babe before bed?
BobtheMercenary: I'll have a dream of general Lee sodomizing me
CelesJessa87: nah, my US history teacher thinks I'm weird enough as it is
Krylo Killian: And that's a bad thing, Bob?
CelesJessa87: for class one time we had to make our own questions to a section in the book, and have multiple choice questions... he never said the wrong multiple choices had to be realistic
BobtheMercenary: well, he's gonna lose his broom handle to my assmonkey, I can't have that
CelesJessa87: "What were some pull factors to make people go west? A. The Bowflex."
BobtheMercenary: lol
CelesJessa87: "What did the railway companies recieve? A. Mexico B. Land C. Texan Butlars."
ViktorVonRussia: Just outta curiosity, how'd you do on that assignment, Celes?
CelesJessa87: I don't remember..... we did good on the rest of it. And it's an ongoing joke sorta in that class, and it was partner work so it wasn't completely my fault
CelesJessa87: and the bad thing was we had to read it outloud in front of class, I couldn't stop laughing
CelesJessa87: actually, we really did bad on it, but the teacher is nice, so we got a B or a C.... I can't remember
ViktorVonRussia: The trick is to get the class laughing while you keep a straight face.
BobtheMercenary: hey krylo, your theme song, you wanted it dark punk right?
ViktorVonRussia: I'm guessing "ass monkey" will be in it in now in some shape or form?
CelesJessa87: Yeah, unfortunately you can't put me in a class with a friend, I'm perfectly normal and quiet until you get me with a friend
spark0138: heh, me too.
CelesJessa87: we had to make comics for that same class and my friend and I were partners, and one of them has Cher in it.....
spark0138: Me can see where this goes.
CelesJessa87: yeah. I know, teachers should NEVER make me draw a comic for class, in 7th grade, I made a comic about the "boston tea party" and dalton was in it (from Chrono Trigger)
ViktorVonRussia: Hahahahaha. Awesome.
BobtheMercenary: for CAD class we had to do a freeform project for the final assignment and me and a friend did sword-chucks made from two buster swords
CelesJessa87: heheh cool. ^^
BobtheMercenary: you see them in the forums, I posted them somewhere
CelesJessa87: I think every health poster I made last year had Lydia on it from a manga.
spark0138: Gotta jet. See you all tomorrow!
BobtheMercenary: see ya
spark0138: Bye all!
CelesJessa87: bye bye
spark0138 has left the room.
CelesJessa87: I'd better go to
CelesJessa87: if I have school tomorrow
CelesJessa87: I have 4 finals
BobtheMercenary: bleh, see ya all
CelesJessa87: so night everyone, I got a few chuckles out of the conversation tonight ^^
CelesJessa87 has left the room.
Krylo Killian: I have evidence that Jenessa may be infected with an ass monkey... but I'll need help to cure her. Do I have any volunteers?
BobtheMercenary: *cautiously* sure
ViktorVonRussia: Wow, a look away for a second to make some food and people leave.
Krylo Killian: Alright. Bob. We're going to michigan to ass rape a minor.
ViktorVonRussia: ...Who didn't see that coming?
Krylo Killian: This is high risk. Your entire life could be ruined... but, it's the only safe way.
Krylo Killian: If you want to pull out now, tell me. It won't be acceptable once the mission starts... and bear in mind, I've no idea what she looks like... but we can be sure she looks worse than ever with an ass monkey at the wheels.
BobtheMercenary: I could only ask to do as much for my country
ViktorVonRussia: Who are you talking about again, Krylo?
Krylo Killian: Celes.
BobtheMercenary: what are the objectives?
ViktorVonRussia: Ah.
Krylo Killian: Find her. Bind her. Take her anal virginity with extreme force.
BobtheMercenary: what about collateral?
Krylo Killian: Any means necessary.
Krylo Killian: All threats to the mission are to be eliminated with extreme prejudice.
BobtheMercenary: what precautions should I take? protection?
Krylo Killian: That may be detrimental... we will need KY, however.
BobtheMercenary: KY?
Krylo Killian: KY Jelly. A lubricant.
BobtheMercenary: ah
ViktorVonRussia: Don't forget the restraints.
BobtheMercenary: Where is the insertion point?
Krylo Killian: I'll be doing the most... intensive work. You just need to stand by with a handgun incase the monkey attempts to escape... or if all of me doesn't make it.
Krylo Killian: Insertion point is the back door.
ViktorVonRussia: Wait, the handgun is also in case all of you doesn't make it?
Krylo Killian: Yes.
BobtheMercenary: Will we be force breaching the backdoor, or using stealth?
Krylo Killian: We will attempt stealth, but if that doesn't work, force is not beyond our capabilities.
Krylo Killian: And... if the ass monkey gains control of me in an escape attempt, you are to do whatever is necessary, do you understand?
BobtheMercenary: yes
Krylo Killian: My pants will be down... I will be... exposed.
Krylo Killian: Death before living as a mere servant to such a vile being!
BobtheMercenary: I am good at maintaining my composure under pressure.
BobtheMercenary: huzzah!
Krylo Killian: I will grant you the same dignity.
BobtheMercenary: I will fall with honor
Krylo Killian: Everyone says that... I only hope you have the bravery needed to uphold that word as a 4 ounce bundle of hell is clawing it's way through your rectum.
BobtheMercenary: My rectum is no stranger to simpians, sir.
Krylo Killian: That... disturbs me beyond belief.
BobtheMercenary: As it does I, sir.

[Bob The Mercenary]

...and the stunning conclusion.

Part 3

Krylo Killian: We will rendevous at the Mall of America at 18:00 hours.
BobtheMercenary: hopefully you mean on Sunday
Krylo Killian: ...I meant tomorrow... we can't allow her to go on under its control for much longer.
BobtheMercenary: Where does the subject take residence?
Krylo Killian: The state of indiana. I'll be doing IP traces tonight to find an exact location.
BobtheMercenary: ...the Mall of America is in Minnesota, sir.
Krylo Killian: And so am I.
Krylo Killian: And you, if memory serves.
Spokavriel has entered the room.
BobtheMercenary: I'm in NJ right now, home for the holidays.
Spokavriel: Hello
Krylo Killian: We will be... acquiring... a van there to serve as our base of operations on the road, as well as purchasing any supplies necessary.
BobtheMercenary: hey spok
Krylo Killian: And, I suppose we may wait until sunday if you have that much travel time.
BobtheMercenary: I'm flying back on Sunday, and will be without a car until...next year,
Krylo Killian: Also: I've always wanted to spend a day at camp snoopy.
aerozordFL has left the room.
Daemon Naga has entered the room.
BobtheMercenary: Daemon!
Daemon Naga: Muhahahahahh!
Zephir8 has entered the room.
Spokavriel: Hi
Zephir8: hi
Spokavriel: how are you Naga and Zephir
Daemon Naga: Wonderous.
BobtheMercenary: We were just discussing our plans to assrape a minor and save her life.
Krylo Killian: Steal a car, man! This is important. It's bigger than you! Besides, we're already committing two forms of rape.
Daemon Naga: Absolutely spec-fucking-tacular!
Spokavriel: I just finished making a DivX disk of Labyrinth along with a custom lable
Krylo Killian: Might as well add grand theft auto.
Krylo Killian: Besides, we can probably get off that way, by blaming it on video games.
BobtheMercenary: Sir, the only cars around here to steal are stick...*meakly* and I can't drive stick.
Daemon Naga: *laughs and smacks Rob into a wall*
Daemon Naga: Poor little shit.
Daemon Naga: = )
PixiStik01 has left the room.
Spokavriel: I can't drive at all
BobtheMercenary: Use my codename, damn you!
Daemon Naga: I said Bob.
Daemon Naga: See...
Daemon Naga: *points*
BobtheMercenary: *looks*
Spokavriel: you said Rob
Krylo Killian: It doesn't matter if you can drive stick. Worst that can happen is you'll grind the gears and destroy the transmission... and it isn't your car anyway.
Daemon Naga: Nuh uh...
Daemon Naga: >.>
Daemon Naga: <.<
Daemon Naga: >.>
Daemon Naga: Rob, I got a lip ring!
BobtheMercenary: or...I can drive in first gear the entire way to Minneapolis
Krylo Killian: Besides, it isn't hard. You let up on the gas, push down on the change gear peddle, change gears using the stick, go back to the gas.
BobtheMercenary: I stalled my dad's M3 12 times the other day.
BobtheMercenary: And you did WHAT?!
Krylo Killian: He got a lip ring.
Krylo Killian: Jesus. If you can't even read properly OR drive stick, I think I may need someone else...
BobtheMercenary: nonono, I are literate
Daemon Naga: Oh yes!
Daemon Naga: It looks awesome!
Daemon Naga: YAY!
Spokavriel: I am quite literate but you wouldn't want me along I know less about driving than I do about current music and movies
BobtheMercenary: ring or stud?
Daemon Naga: And now ladies can tug on it with their teeth. It's a ring
Krylo Killian: You also don't know much about ass rapage... so...
Daemon Naga: Oh he knows plenty
Spokavriel: virginity has it's perks
Daemon Naga: I made sure of that.
BobtheMercenary: ...yeah, what he said
Krylo Killian: An experienced man?!
Krylo Killian: You've done this before... hmm... 
BobtheMercenary: yes...um...plenty of times
Krylo Killian: I was talking about Daemon... not his ass fodder.
Daemon Naga: Oh butt sex is sooooo fun when you aren't recieving.
Daemon Naga: Hell, I could give butt sex alllllll day.
Krylo Killian: Even to someone with a deadly monkey living in their rectum?
BobtheMercenary: *_*6
Daemon Naga: Of course. A trunk monkey.
Krylo Killian: Ass monkey.
Spokavriel: Krylo is waiting for monkeys to fly out of his arse
Krylo Killian: The most deadly kind of monkey.
Daemon Naga: I just make sure to wrap with my spiked condom.
Daemon Naga: >.>
BobtheMercenary: guess we're not going covert
Daemon Naga: The one with a dragon head.
Krylo Killian: Good God, man! That's more dangerous than the bleach enema!
Daemon Naga: <.<
Daemon Naga: Oh God...
BobtheMercenary: and the bleach enema was our last resort
Daemon Naga: That sounds like just absolute LOADS of fun...
Spokavriel: Enema's the medical procedure for people who just don't give a shit.